Conversations with the dead (Zaure & Elaine)

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 7:46 pm

"Oh, you mean to say you're not being useful right now? Do you have any idea what it means for me to be talking to you?" Elaine voiced her need. "You still mean the world to me, you influence me...that will not change."

Zaure tickled her. Elaine quickly grabbed his hands. "No! Please, don't do that, Zaure, not now." Her heart was beating fast as the girl tried to sit up straight again. "I understand what you mean. It is like the song I hear. Wherever I am, it's still there."

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 7:53 pm

"But that is just it, Elaine! You talk to me, but only here, it isn't though I can help you through your life, or change anything in the City, or even screw up anything." He set a hand on her cheek, "It will change... you will be you, and my influence on you shall wane, because the dead aren't supposed to have purpose. We're just supposed to be contented wraiths." Zaure's voice was filled with frustration; the elf still wanted to be something.

The elf climbed off of Elaine with a puzzled look in his eyes, "What is wrong, Elaine, are you really that ticklish? Your song will never leave you, the gods exist on this plane, but my City does not. I either need to find a way back or a way to break the bond that is there."

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:57 pm

"The more you believe that you have no purpose, the more it will indeed turn out to be true." Elaine retorted. "Who fills your head with that nonsense? The other dead? Just because they're dead, doesn't mean they are smart! They are still the persons that they were when alive. That is what I believe. So for me you will always have a purpose."

Nothing is wrong...nothing happened, not really anyway. "Nothing is wrong. I just..." She made a face. "Bleh, we were talking about you. As far as I'm concerned you can find your way back to the city...if that does not work and if breaking that bond will help you find your place...then I will assist you in that."

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 10:26 pm

Zaure shrugged his shoulders, "And what is that purpose, Elaine? To merely sit and watch all of you? I don't consider watching people to be a purpose; I watched you because I said I would, although I didn't listen because that would be invasive. We are the same people, and yet not, because none of us have any more reason to exist. We are spirtitual dead weight who contribute nothing to either the plane of the living or the plane we live on now, which is more the realm of spirits and gods."

"There is a difference between having a purpose for someone else and only existing through them and being yourself and having a purpose for you. No, I won't let you help me break that bond, because you don't strike me as the type to destroy anything. And something is wrong, Elaine, we were talking about me, yes, but, as I said, I'm dead and, as such, can be selfish. You are in the realm of the dead, however temporarily, and now it's your turn to be selfish. What are you thinking right now?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 10:35 pm

"I'm thinking I want to talk about something else." Elaine promptly responded in all honesty, quickly clapping a hand in front of her mouth. "Oh my, that might have been too literal? I don't know much about the realm of the dead, dear Zaure. I do know that not all that pass over really 'pass over'. Some stay for different reasons. It would make no sense to keep all those souls around for eternity. Don't you think you might be back some day?"

It was a very valiant try at redirecting the conversation, especially since it was a comment she meant.

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 10:43 pm

Zaure laughed a bit and took Elaine's hand away from her mouth, "Why? Why do you fear speaking of yourself so much, Elaine? Nobody can know you if you refuse to speak, dear!" The elf leaned back and grinned, "We can't really expect you to know much; I'm dead and I don't really know much about the realm of the dead. I'm aware that people stay, but I don't know... I wasn't presented with a choice. Many things make no sense, Elaine. I do not know whether I will be back, although my heart right now says no."

"Now, you need help talking about yourself. First, what is your full name, Elaine? And where are you from?" He smiled and leaned forward, setting his head on his hands.

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 10:58 pm

Elaine felt her cheeks grow warm. She smiled shyly. "So many things are going on. It hardly matters to speak of oneself. But we agreed on honesty, so my name is Eileena. That is all. It's not really what my mother called me, which is why I keep to Elaine."

Suddenly she laughed. "I never even told you where I was from? Shame on me! I was born on the edge of World's Mouth, although I never really did venture into town."

The girl spread her arms. "There. Not much of interest, just me." The conversation reminded her strongly of the strange encounter with Vanir and Perdita, although this was much more relaxed despite the fact that Zaure was in fact no longer alive. He still felt so alive!

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:03 pm

"There may be many things going on, but those things are all driven by individual people, Elaine." Zaure thought that that made sense, and he nodded, "Eileena... see, is it so hard to speak of yourself? What happens if, horror of horrors, someone actually wants to get to know you?" The elf grinned in a teasing way, "No, you never did... made me speculate if you were from the dark realms or a changeling! World's Mouth... nice, I didn't know you were from the Western Kingdom."

"There is much of interest. How did you become interested in music? What is your favorite sound? Your favorite food? Who is your favorite person or people? Is there any food you really can't stand? What is your favorite song?" He smiled at her and lazily traced a finger in the dirt; he was using Elaine's own device against her; the elf did not want to think of his anger or, even worse, his aimlessness.

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:13 pm

Elaine shrugged. "I don't know, Zaure. It's just not something I'm used to. It's so easy to just fade into the background. Very comfortable too. Nobody really felt the need to get to know me, nor did I feel I had to go in search of someone." She smiled at the Elf's teasings.

"Music has never been a choice. It simply was there." The girl recounted her childhood memories, trying to keep all of Zaure's questions in mind. "A part of me, so to speak, as the city is your's. My favourite sound is the rain on the leaves. I love to bread, just simple bread. Is that weird? I don't like milk." She shivered again, this time for very different reasons. "Yuck! But you already know my favourite song cause you have heard it too."

She blinked. "Did I get all of them? My word, you don't use half measures, do you?"

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:18 pm

Zaure's voice was soft when he next spoke, "Elaine, people need to know you. You cannot stand distantly from everyone; it will make you fall. There is nothing wrong with the background, Elaine, but there is a difference between background and isolation." He reached a hand out and stroked her hair, "Being isolated is dismal..."

He nodded as she gave her responses, smiling and grinning at some of them, "You do not like milk, and yet you like ice cream? You are an odd one, Elaine! Why use half-measures when full ones work just as well? Now, you ask me some questions, if you want. If you don't; then I have more..." 'Let me know those who must leave me! Please!'

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:34 pm

"That's sweet of you, Zaure." Elaine answered her friend's kind chiding. "Isolation...funny, I was thinking on that just the other...dream? Hm." She almost withdrew her head from the gentle touch. No, no, be at ease! This is Zaure!

"Ice cream is so nice and cold in different flavours! That's completely different from the kind of lukewarm fluid." She said convinced. "But Zaure?" Again her cheeks coloured as she felt incredibly out of place. "I don't know any questions right now." Her voice sounded soft. "Somehow I can feel you and I like to think I know you in some way. You have more questions?" It sounded incredulously.

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:38 pm

"Well, if you were thinking on it, then you should know to avoid it, yes? You need to know others and let them know you as well. Even one person may save you your sanity." The elf noticed her odd feeling, and stroked her hair again deliberately with a concerned frown.

He laughed, "Yes, I suppose that is true. I always loved fruit nectar more than milk. But ice cream is better than all..." The elf's voice trailed off, then resumed, "Was my favorite food." He shrugged, "If you feel as though you know me, then you probably do. Yes, I have more questions! There are many things I want to know about you!" 'Before you go away forever...' "What is your favorite memory? Your least favorite? Do you have a favorite piece of clothing? How about a favorite possession? What is your favorite activity? What type of weather do you like most?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:59 pm

The blond woman held her head perfectly still while Zaure stroked her again. A little sigh disguised the nerves that obviously played a part in her strange behavior.

She hit the Elf playfully. "Don't be daft! Icecream still is your favourite. As long as we're talking and you're here, talk in present tense! Questions, questions...answers...Hm, let me think. My favourite memories right now are our conversations and meeting Mother. Sorry to put you in the same category, but there you have it. I like wearing dresses, especially in summertime when I feel I could fly away in them. It won't be a surprise that my staff is my treasured posession. It's part of my life and depicts the people that I hold dear."

The Earendil took a moment to breathe, slowly relaxing now that she was past the more difficult part. "I love taking walks or just sitting in the forest, listening. What was the last question? Oh, weather...I like rain. It sounds nice, it smells nice. Especially a spring rain when everything comes out smelling new and excited about life."

"You certainly have funny questions!" She laughed.

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 12:03 am

Zaure shrunk away in mock horror, "Ah, she's violent even in her dreams!" He made a teasing face at her before sobering, "I don't think so... I don't eat or drink, how can I have a favorite food anymore?" The elf smiled, "Well, that shows what type of person you are; putting the meeting of a god and one of their mistakes in the same catagory." He ruffled her hair a bit, "I like dresses too." Zaure smiled, "Your staff is very well-made; it's almost an extention of you."

"I didn't like rain; because it made me all wet and slimy feeling," 'Although what I wouldn't give to feel that way now.' "Funny questions? Well, what would not funny questions be? Okaaaaay, what exactly is it you want to do for Mother?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 12:12 am

"I didn't say you couldn't ask funny questions anymore!" Elaine protested, then whacked Zaure a tad bit harder. "Stop referring to yourself as if you're a nobody who never contributed anything. You know it's not true! There are simple facts that make you stand out as much more than a nobody."

Her face showed clearly she did not think of that remark as a joke at all. The remark about her staff definitively lightened her mood again. "Well, it is." The girl answered. "Without it I'm truly blind. Now, what would I want to do for Mother?" She blinked her eyes. "Uh...I don't know? I hear the song, what I want is to be a part of it and I think I'm getting there. Just to be able to hear and understand must be glorious. To right that song where it goes wrong would be grand, but I doubt I have the means for it." Then again...would it really work with Marius? Hmm. I guess I'll find out.

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 12:18 am

Once again, Zaure shrunk from the blow even though it couldn't hurt him, "And what facts would those be, Elaine? That I could sing? There are scores of people at the Bardic College who can sing; you should know, you study there..." He sighed and then smiled at her, "I merely thought it was ironic. More silly questions? Okay!" He smiled and rolled up the sleeves on his robe.

"You want to be a Healer of Her Song, then? That is a more than admirable goal, I think, Elaine. You'd be wonderful at it." Part of him was yelling, 'Why can I sing no more? Why can't I work with MY song?' There was a keen ache in him he doubted would go away, "Do not doubt yourself, Elaine, one person can do more than they think..." 'Like Ahren...' "Herm, well, okay then... questions... what is your favorite thing to carve, and what's your next project going to be? What is your favorite smell?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 12:25 am

Elaine felt Zaure's acute discomfort and put her arms around him, although hesitantly. "You've done more...I heard things that first night. I might not be good at making friends, I am good at listening. You were part of a very important group that battled the darkness. Would you deny your role in that?" Her voice was gentle.

Her face lit up when he mentioned the word 'healer'. "Yes, that is exactly it! I just hope it will be acceptable...I already missed my first lesson with someone who is supposed to be a special teacher. I can only imagine what he will think of me." Again Zaure's sadness was appearant. "Will you teach me your song, Zaure?" She asked softly.

"Oh, your questions...I love to carve the faces of people that are important to me. My next project? That's you. I'm halfway. As for smells...sorry, I'm boring...the forest after the rains."

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 3:41 pm

Zaure turned his head to the side, although he was grateful for Elaine's arms around him, "No, I wouldn't; but what good did it do? It's broken now, there is no link between us anymore. We lost, Elaine. What good is fighting if you lose?" He sighed, "There must be something done about the whole thing, Elaine...the government clearly is too absorbed in their little games to do anything, so I don't know what is going to happen."

"If you tell him why you missed the lesson, he may understand... provided you signed no contract, of course," The elf grinned, then his face became sober again, "I would, only..." He wrestled with explaining, "It isn't the song that's important, it's what it did. It was actually a normal song, the connection we all felt with it was what was important. Songs must be used to connect people."

Blinking in surprise, Zaure shook his head to clear it, 'Her next project is me... she's halfway done?' "May I see it?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 5:55 pm

"You did not loose." She held him firm. "You won that night by everything you did. You made the first move in defeating the darkness and that is an example that will be followed. Maybe that link has been broken, but what once was, can be again, although maybe in a different form. I will try to keep an overview of the things that happen...although it might be hard."

She frowned. "I'm not sure if I feel like telling a teacher that does not know me that I was arrested...what if he does not believe I'm innocent? Then again, would I want a teacher that does not trust me? I don't know yet...but I understand what you mean with your song. It was the combined energy of everything that happened."

The girl took her staff and handed it over to the Elf. "Here you are...partly." She guided his fingers to a half-finished carving of an Elven face. It was crude, but recognizable.

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 7:35 pm

He sighed again, "Perhaps not, but..." Zaure stroked her hair again, "We did win that night. I have no idea how we did, but we did. No, there was movement before that night to combat the darkness. A large battle was won, but small steps are still being taken, and everyone is ignoring them because they aren't large enough for their attention. Just keep the overview so you can see how things affect each other."

"Why would you not tell your teacher? Surely he knows of the ridiculous arrests." The elf nodded solemnly, "Songs are a way for emotions to be expressed. We all felt that song and the message it was supposed to carry in our hearts." He took the staff in his hands and ran them over the figure that looked like him and shut his eyes, "Why are you carving me into your staff?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sun Mar 07, 2004 8:34 pm

"Oh I know what songs can do, Zaure, believe me." Elaine smiled. "I'm glad that fight was won and I am sure that we will win again. Sooner or later the Citadel will be growing lighter again. Maybe I'll have a part in it, maybe not. We'll see."

Elaine let her fingers play with the other images on the staff. "I'm not sure how to tell them. What if they think the arrests were with cause? They might not want me in college anymore. I'll have to think about this."

She raised her eyebrows at Zaure's question. "WHy? Because you are important to me! Is that so strange?"

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 10:00 pm

Zaure smiled softly back at Elaine, "That is good. It would appear that new uses for melodies are opening for us all." He touched Elaine's cheek softly; he still liked touching her, she was the only person he had touched since he died, "Perhaps we shall win again, but who can tell if we keep tripping over each other in an attempt to win all the glory. I know you will have a part in it if it occurs, Elaine, you may like the background, but you will do what is needed."

The elf placed his own fingers over Elaine's on her staff, "If this teacher of yours is special, I'm certain he knows the arrests are without cause. Why would they not want you in the college anymore? You are very musical, Elaine."

He sighed softly, "Yes, it is strange to me, Elaine. Remind me who the others are?" Zaure tapped her staff with his finger.

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:33 pm

"New uses?" Elaine raised her light eyebrows. "I do not think there is anything new about it. It's just...well, music is a part of the fabric of the world." She flinched when her friend's hand came close, sneaky shadows creeping up on her. But I want to touch him! I want to know he is here...get a grip already!

"Glory won't play a part, dear friend." Elaine assured him. "All glory is forgotten when faced with the darkness. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to...no, skip that...there will always be persons trying to gain over the misfortune of others. You're right. But I will follow the path that I believe in."

The blind Earendil listened to Zaure's words and smiled. He was right in a lot of things. "Thank you for the compliment." She blushed. "I wonder how you'd know though...did I sing when you were around? I can't remember. Oh, the other faces..." She touched the faces one by one. "This is my mother a few yahren before she died. This..." She went to the only other male face. "...is my cousin. I have not seen him for a very long time. I'm not even sure if he would remember me. Next to that is Mother and here are you. I'm not satisfied yet, but I will be soon."

Zaure · Post by **Zaure** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 4:48 pm

The elf thought for a moment, "Perhaps not new... maybe it's always existed, but it's the first time we have used it in such a manner." Zaure frowned as Elaine flinched away, and put his hand on her cheek, "What is wrong, Elaine?"

He laughed at her assersion that all glory faded in face of darkness, "Indeed, Elaine, it's keeping the people working together over a period of time that is so difficult. That path has served you well, so you may as well follow it."

Zaure smiled at her, "No, you didn't sing around me, but being musical isn't just singing. It's feeling music with your whole being, and I know you do so." He listened to her explanation of the faces while nodding, then put his hand on the carvings right after she had moved on, "Why is your cousin on here? What did he do for you? Why are you not satisfied?"

Elaine · Post by **Elaine** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:12 pm

The girl shook her head in irritation, loosing the Elf's touch in the process. "Nothing is wrong, never mind, Zaure. There is just a lot to think about." You don't want to think about it, do you? Indeed...it's not worth it. Not now. Not ever.

"A common enemy gets people together." Elaine admitted. "I am curious to see who else I will meet. There were interesting people in the damp dungeons. People that just arrived and people that have lived in the Citadel for a long time, even people with magics. There is a lot to be learned there and I am confident that it will somehow help if we all work together."

She felt a smile on her lips before Zaure had finished speaking. Indeed the music of the city had made a lasting impression on her.

"My cousin is there because he has always treated me like any other person. I love him very much. He is a kind, funny person and he made me realize that if I wanted to be accepted, I had to be at ease with myself first." Elaine told her friend.

"As for your carving, you're not smiling yet in the wood and I really want that." She smiled herself at the explanation.