The Bubbly Spring (Closed Sevti and Torc Samheen 24th)

[Torc Blackfoot]

OOC: Oh my goodness… now what should I do now?

Torc felt heat soak threw his manhood to the very core of his being. His patience was no more; he was fire… he was an animal, and he wanted this maginficance beast in front of him. Torc’s hand went to Sevti’s hips. It was rough, in the sense of firm and need. His fingers gripped hard her buttocks while he felt his thumbs top the crest of her pelvis.

A low moan escaped Torc’s lips, it was animalistic, filled with primal desire and lust. The feeling of pulling Sevti down on him felt; powerful, needful, wanting, craving and right. He was buried deep inside of her as he felt his hands wanting to rock her hips back and forth; wanting to feel her grind into him, with force and emotion, wanting to feel his jewels roll from her firm backside.

Torc felt his body move to kiss Sevti’s neck. Yet when he did so, he went like a hungry animal, kissing and sucking in her flesh, then holding it between his teeth. Feeling the soft skin with his tongue yet biting it gently to keep it in his mouth. The rocking back and forth on his groin was feeding his desire wanting to take her a thousand ways yet knowing that he couldn’t leave her for a flicker.

As another moan escaped Torc’s lips, Sevti’s flesh left his mouth. His head tilted back looking into the sky feeling heat wash over him again. As his face came back looking deeply into Sevti eyes, it was with a feeling of hunger, of desire, and of animal intensity. Then his looked down seeing a few droplets of sweat or water upon the top of the crevice which led between her breasts. Torc lowered his face to those droplets feeling his tongue lick the bottom part of them, yet feel his nose touch her skin. Torc could feel his hands asking her for a quicker pace wanting for her desire to explode with him…

Wanting…

[Sevti]

With Torc's hands rough upon her, Sevti moaned loudly. Patience... no. Feel. Let him feel. He IS feeling. Pan's curly horns... Her thoughts became hazy as he began to rock her on him. Her sensitive nub sent wave after wave of flaming pleasure coursing through her as it ground back and forth against him.

Throwing her head back, she released a long, low cry of pleasure. It was GOOD, by Pan's balls, it was good! She felt a thousand different joys running through her, tearing her in a million different directions. Her hands clenched into his back, her nails biting into the skin. Torc's lips on her neck, the animalistic way he bit and sucked at the tender flesh, just fueled her flames higher, teetering her on the edge of oblivion.

"Torc," she whispered, her voice becoming hoarse from her moans and cries. "Oh Torc." She couldn't think what to say, what to think. She only knew feeling. Every inch of her body more sensitive than she'd ever imagined it could be without pain. Her womanhood squeezing tightly around Torc's manhood as it filled her tunnel completely. His hands hot and firm against her bottom as he continued to rock her against him. His damp hair teasing against her breasts and then free as he tilted his head back to moan. The heat in his eyes as his head lowered to watch her once more arcing between them to meet the answering heat in hers.

And then the look was gone as he lowered his head to her breasts. The moment his tongue touched her skin, even feeling was gone, overwhelmed by her desire.

It started with a long, low wordless cry as her body began to shake uncontrollably. The cry soon became his name, repeated in a mantra, the only word she seemed to remember through the waves of Joy passing through her. There was no need for Torc to rock her any longer as she ground against him forcefully, keeping time with those waves that only she could sense.

She gripped his back more tightly, nails leaving deep half-moons in his skin. She wanted to care, wanted to worry that she would leave wounds on him, but her passion caused it to melt into the back of her mind as only a vague concern. All it would allow her was it's control and nothing more. And all she could do was obey until it finally released her, weakened, tired, but oh so happy.

[Torc Blackfoot]

Torc wasn’t in his right mind; for his mind was that of an animal and he felt so hungry. His ears started to pick up a low growling across the sound of the water, something that held the hunger of a beast and yet lustful like a buck in heat. Yet it sounded as if it came inside the spring, but there was no one there but the two of them.

The feeling of Torc’s manhood deep inside of Sevti made his skin feel afire. The feeling of her clenching him, pulsing around him, was strong and tight yet smooth and willing. Torc hands craved Sevti’s flesh wanting it… wanting that feeling all over him.

Torc exploded hard and without restraint, for there was no sense of will and patience in him. Everything that he kept close and tight was gone as he gave Sevti his seed, it was magnificent, and Torc saw bright lights as he kept his eyes closed. Seeing them burst into focus as he shoot again into her.

Torc hands clenched with need, his breath left with ragged eagerness. Torc heard someone cry Sevti’s name, as he arched deep in her feeling warm fluid wash over him and her. As he became spent, he knew that his eyes were closed and yet didn’t have the energy to open them.

Torc just laid against the rock outcropping of the spring feeling exhausted. His arms went around Sevti and brought her closer as she grinded away the last few flickers of pleasure. He felt his manhood shrink inside of her as Sevti’s breasts touched Torc’s chest.

Torc let out a soft murmur of pleasure as he finally felt Sevti’s wet hair lay on him. He felt exhausted, almost as if he couldn’t say anything… couldn’t do anything. Torc felt his left hand trace Sevti’s back and bottom. His right went threw her hair stroking it away from her face, and throughout it all the bubbles of the spring came up caressing their bodies.

Torc couldn’t say anything, yet he blindly went down and kissed Sevti feeling that he wanted to let her know how much pleasure he felt. Wanting to touch every part of her body and keeping her close to him. Torc whispered the first words that came to his mind, “Thank you.”

[Sevti]

Dimmly, Sevti was aware of Torc exploding within her, pumping her full of his seed as she spasmed around him. Thank you, Pan, for allowing me to show him this Joy, she thought as her own Joy began to subside.

She became more aware of her surroundings.

Of Torc, his thighs strong beneath her behind, his arms wrapped around her waist gently pulling her forward as her hips slowed to a stop, his ragged breathing barely audible above the natural sounds around them.

Of her own body, weakening from the pleasure she felt, satisfied to it's very core, desiring nothing other than to be held close by her talented lover and just bask in the glow that well practiced Joy brings.

Of the Springs, it's warm water caressing their lower bodies, washing away the heat, renewing them once more.

She rested her head upon his shoulder as the one became two once more, no longer joined as they'd been, yet still close. She smiled softly as he brushed her damp hair from her face, then bent down to touch his lips to hers.

She hadn't expected his whispered word of thanks, Joy being something that was so equal in her mind that the shared pleasure was it's own thanks. She laid a gentle hand on his cheek, her lips curving into a soft smile. "No thanks are needed, Torc," she assured him. "You gave me so much yourself. So much Joy and so much pleasure. It was an honor to share this with you." Her dark eyes confirmed the truth of her words as she gazed into his sparkling blue ones flickers before she closed them to kiss him once more.

[Torc Blackfoot]

Torc felt Sevti exhausted body pressed against his. As Torc felt Sevti kiss him on the lips, he felt her hair run threw his fingers, parting the dark waves threw his fingers. Feeling the smoothness and smelling the jasmine in the air. His other hand traced the curve of her back slowly going up and down; feeling the top of her behind, feeling the bottom of her shoulder blades, and the wonder feel of her stomach pressing against his.

Torc closed his eyes as the kiss finally ended. He breathed deeply feeling Sevti moved up a little as his stomach expanded. Torc felt warmed and loved, he felt like he belonged. Only one other place had ever made him feel like this. The Elf Quarter, where adhiel and halfbreeds of the World’s Mouth lived. It was there he felt like he belonged, it was there he felt like he had people, friends, and family.

Torc bent his head to kiss Sevti’s shoulder as he hugged her. Torc released a content sigh as he came back up. His skin felt wonderful as it moved against hers. Feeling it slide freely across hers, as he breathed.

Torc always kept a hand on the small of Sevti’s back slowly moving in a small circle. His other stroke and traced the skin of her hips. He just wanted to touch her skin, sliding it under the water, and stroking her.

To Torc it was a strange feeling… wanting to stroke and constantly touch Sevti. Wanting to just feel how perfect she was in his arms, wanting to say so much, but when ever he opened his mouth he simply kissed Sevti lightly on the skin and lips when he could.

[Sevti]

Torc's arms around her, his gentle touch upon her body, held Sevti firmly in the glorious haze that filled the burns after a wonderful experience of Joy. Her own fingers traced lazily over his skin in undefined patterns, just enjoying the feel of his warm, slick skin under her sensitive fingertips. A lazy, contented smile curved her lips as she looked down at her lover.

"For all the wonder of Joy," she told him, bending once more to press her lips to his with a soft gentleness. "I enjoy this time the most. For me, it's the real Joy of the act. What separates it from being nothing more than just a physical act between two people and elevates it to the Joy that it truly is."

For a moment, her brown eyes settled into seriousness as she looked into Torc's crystal blue ones. "I know you Oneists think we're nothing but wanton creatures, but it does go much deeper than that. Joy is rarely done without feeling. Sometimes the feelings are stronger than others, but feeling is still there. It's just that we don't put false reigns on our feelings, trying to deny there are no feelings there when something is actually there, just because we also have feelings for another."

Folding her hands on the achadhiel's chest, she rested her chin atop them while she continued to watch him. "I hope that our sharing Joy has shown you some of this. I didn't choose to share with you because you are male and attractive but because I <i>like</i> you. And the more I've learned, through both the spoken and the unspoken, the more I've liked. And the more I wouldn't mind sharing with you again." A faint blush tinged her cheeks. She couldn't quite explain why there was any embarrassment in her admission, particularly since she had admitted much the same to many Panlings in her past. But to a Oneist, who had no experience with the way that Joy could truly uplift one... that was the only reason she could think of for the unusual feeling.

[Torc Blackfoot]

As Sevti blushed, Torc fingertips traced down her back, as they went over the curve of her back side they sought her thighs. Feeling the plump and yet firm cheeks of Sevti, he lifted her as he bent down to give her a kiss. He felt a foolish smile on his face, yet he cared not, he kissed Sevt lightly on the lips, then on her forehead. He loved the way she felt in his arms. Perfect and small, warm and sweet, the smell of oil and the feel of sweat, he loved it all.

Something gnawed at Torc though. It was the feeling of guilt and sin, and it grew within his mind. As he looked into Sevti’s eyes, seeing the way the reflected in the moon light, feeling that he wanted to kiss her one more time. Kiss her for his fear that she would hate him for the things he had done.

The grin escaped Torc’s face, and the feeling of being worthy to look into her eyes left. His eyes looked at Sevti’s damp hair. His fingers went from the top of her forehead down to her ear, pushing aback a loose thread of hair and putting it back behind her ear.

“I didn’t think of you as a wanton creature. I thought… I thought this couldn’t happen because you were a human pure of sin, pure of evil that I am half filled with. Then when I heard you cry out Pan’s name…” Torc shivered. “Sevti, I am a warrior for the One. I must fight when the priests tell me; I must use magic against their enemies. I… I must do things that aren’t honorable, because I am a warrior. This feels right and wrong, Sevti. I have committed a sin, and yet being with you, feeling you in my arms, smelling us, feels so right.”

Torc closed his eyes, “I have to do what is right, don’t I? Even if it feels wrong?” He asked the question to the sky, when he looked back down at Sevti he felt so alone for a moment. “I have done things I am not proud of… I have done horrible things and I will do more in this war. I never meant to hurt you, now or in the future, but I have to do what the priests say, I have to fight Sevti. You understand that right?”

[Sevti]

Sevti noticed when Torc would no longer catch her eyes, his gaze focusing instead on her hair as he very carefully recaptured a stray hair behind her ear.

She could feel the pain and confusion in his voice as he spoke, trying to reconcile what he'd been taught by the impotent priests of his God with what he felt by being with her. When he asked the question to the sky about doing what was right, Sevti knew she would have to answer. She was far more sure of the answer to that than the question he actually asked her.

It took her several flickers before she could answer him, staring at the ground beneath him as she marshalled her thoughts. "I'm... not sure if I do, Torc. You say that this feels right, then you say you need to do what's right. So if this feels right, how do you know that this isn't what you should be doing? How do you know that what the priests tell you is right, even when it feels wrong? How can you be sure that fighting is what you should be doing? That hurting our people just because of what we believe is the way that it should be?"

She traced the side of her finger down his cheek slowly. "I don't believe that you have to do anything that you don't want to, Torc. Ultimately, you need to do what you can live with and nothing else. The more evil you do, the more you can reconcile it as having a good reason, the more you change to be evil. I don't think you're evil, Torc." She lowered her head to press her lips softly to his. "I think you are a good person who's being put in a difficult position. That your whole life has been a difficult position. And I have faith that someday, you'll find a way to do what feels right for you, regardless of what anyone else tells you. And I can't believe that you would ever do anything that would intentionally hurt me, Torc. Or to intentionally hurt anyone." She smiled softly as she looked down at him. "How horrible could the things be that you've done?"

[Torc Blackfoot]

“I have killed Sevti. I brought a book from my master to the Prodesse in the Mouth. At the time I didn’t know that he was under the control of a demon, but when I brought that book to the church of the One, it was opened and it killed many children and people. Flying machines of death came out and killed people, it was my fault and even though I fought for several of them, so many died.”

Torc quietly brushed Sevti’s hair with his fingers. “Now I am a warrior, and I must kill. I have started down that path Sevti, I might not want to harm women and children, but I must find those warriors that will face my people on the field of battle. I must use my magic to find your main encampment, and I must tell my superiors of where it is.” He looked at Sevti with a tear in his eye. For a second wanted to ask for her forgiveness, yet he placed his hands upone her back. She might do something foolish and he didn’t want her hurt in the spring.

“Sevti, I have used my knowledge of magic to gather materials for a better mage to find your main encampment, and we will attack it within the next few days.” Torc waited for the outburst, the pain, and the destruction of this precious thing he had.

[Sevti]

When Torc described the harm he had inadvertantly done because of his master's trickery, Sevti was ready to explain it away. He was used, after all, by someone he trusted. And he did say he tried to destroy them before they hurt others. So she couldn't hold him accountable for that. After all, earlier today she was going to... but that was different. And she wouldn't think about the battle or Abeo or anything that came after.

She was ready to tell him all of this and more, her hand reaching for his cheek to caress it gently, when his next quiet words reached her ears. She stopped, fingers hanging in mid-air just inches from his cheek. The tear in his eye... he didn't... he couldn't... how could he TELL her something like this and yet be tearful?

It wasn't true. It couldn't be. Yes, he'd said he was a mage but... he couldn't have gathered anything from HER. This was a dream. Just a dream...

Why would he tell her something like this? Why would he LIE?

But she knew it wasn't a lie. And she knew he regretted it. But she also knew it didn't make any difference.

Dark eyes scanned his face, seeing the pain and the regret there, yet the determination that it was the "right" thing to do. And she wasn't sure how she felt about it. She wanted to be angry with him. She WAS angry with him, for bringing war to her home, to her people. To working to destroy them further by bringing warriors to kill the defenseless women and children that waited at Gatetown as their own warriors fought against them elsewhere.

But her anger was muted by a sorrow that she couldn't quite define. Part of it was a sadness at her own judgement, chiding herself for having read him so wrong. Part was sadness for him, because she knew she HADN'T read him wrong and he wasn't doing this because he was evil but because he felt he had no choice. And part of it was sadness BECAUSE he felt he had no choice, and she wasn't sure she could find the words to make him see that he did.

Her hand fell to rest on the warm rock beneath them, trapping the achadhiel mage below her. Tears formed in her dark eyes, barely on the brink of spilling over but being held back somehow. "And if the men aren't there? If there is very little protection?" she asked. "I don't believe YOU would kill those that could hold nothing against you but a cook pot or a beer stein. But the warriors you'll bring... Will they kill or will they capture, Torc? And in the end, would it make a difference?"

She lapsed into silence, looking away from him into the dense overgrowth around them. "And what about me, Torc? If you saw me there, would you let them kill me? Because I'm nothing more than a heathen? Would you be able to stand by then and let them do to me whatever they wanted? After all of this? Just because I don't believe in the same God you do?"

She finally looked back to him, tears now silently streaming down her cheeks. "Do you still think that I'm pure sin? Pure evil? Do you think I deserve to die?"

[Torc Blackfoot]

Torc pulled Sevti closer to him, forcing her head upon his chest. He didn’t know what else to do, but to hold her. His shallow breath hurt when he thought about the panling on him and the pain he caused her. “Sevti… I… I don’t know. I don’t want to kill anyone, but how can I… my duty…” Everything that came to his ears sounded poor and foolish. Right now he wanted to hold Sevti and nothing more.

“I don’t want you to die, and… those soldiers wouldn’t kill women or children. They will capture them for fun and conversion. Those that offer resistance… will die.” Tears came from Torc, he knew that death for many panlings would come from his magick… didn’t he try to warn them, didn’t he try to protect them a little from his betrayal.

“You aren’t pure evil, I don’t want to harm you or your kind, but who am I to question? The One’s faith speaks of forgiveness, and of wrath. What am I to believe? The only thing I can promise you, is that I will not harm innocent people. If they don’t attack me, then I will not attack them, I can’t promise you, or myself, anything more then that.” Torc spoke the truth, but he couldn’t betray his people, just like he couldn’t betray this feeling of wrongness. Surely the One wouldn’t allow harm to innocents or he would punish those that did? Torc wasn’t sure, but in the end he couldn’t betray his people.

Torc kissed the top of Sevti’s head wondering how he could ever explain it to her. All he could do was just tighten his embrace and hold her.

[Sevti]

Sevti went limply into Torc's embrace - not fighting it, but not finding the Joy in it she had burns before. She listened to his words and anger started to burn within her once more. They wouldn't kill innocent women and children? They just wanted to convert? Could Torc REALLY be that naive?

She lifted her head from his chest to watch his face, shaking her head slowly. "Torc," she replied, letting her anger tinge her words, "you look at your 'people' through the innocence of what you want the world to be. You think they wouldn't kill innocent women and children? What if I told you I watched one of your so called warriors gut a girl no more than twelve as she tried to escape a burning building? My parents Tavern that they burned because it was there? That was there way of clearing us out so they could have a stronghold on Pan's Isle. By BURNING us out. And I could have been caught there, Torc. I could have burned to death because of your so-called compassionate warriors who only kill those who try to kill them."

Her eyes were still damp, though she shed no more tears. While she didn't leave his embrace, she rose a little further, put a little more distance between them. "You say they tell you two different things and you don't know which to believe. They tell you your God is one of forgiveness and one of wrath and each pull you in a different way. Then why, if both are preached equally, don't you follow the path that your heart leads you on? Does it tell you that my people - that I - should be punished with the full wrath of your God just because I believe differently? That we, who have done NOTHING to hurt you - we who didn't start this war, who didn't invade you, who didn't come into your homes and burn them and kill your men, along with some of the women and children, capturing the rest and cause those that could to escape, who have only been defending our homes and our LIVES - deserve to have any of this happen to us? Or does it say that we should have forgiveness for being different and should be allowed to LIVE? Not," she clarified, "that I think I've done anything that needs the forgiveness of your God through his impotent priests. But I'd rather take a forgiveness that I don't think I deserve than a death that I know I don't."

Anger - at Torc, at the situation, at Dominicus, at the Oneists in general - was flaring with in and it burned brightly in her eyes as she tried to capture his gaze. "And believe me, I understand what kind of 'fun' they would have in mind for someone like me. They'd take me and use me and throw me to the side, thinking I'm nothing more than an evil Panling who doesn't have the decency to choose who I give my Joy to."

Before she could give the next words any through, she flung them at him in full voice with all the venom she could muster. "And that's all I was to you too, wasn't I, Torc? 'Fun'. Had to get it someway, didn't you?" And the instant they were out, she prayed that she could pull them back. Her anger at Torc disappeared, leaving only the anger at his church and his God... and more importantly, at herself.

"I didn't mean that," she whispered, capturing her lower lip between her teeth. "I... I really didn't mean that, Torc." She wanted to explain, but the words just wouldn't come.

[Torc Blackfoot]

Torc had felt sorry and guilt ridden till Sevti had the nerve to accuse him of wanton forcing his idea of fun on her. His body went rigid and he felt his mouth clench, grinding his teeth a small bit.

“Fun! Fun! I didn’t expect us to marry from this; I didn’t even expect you to look at me with desire in our eyes or loins. I spoke about my plans because I want to save people, even if that means betraying one. But I suppose you don’t get it do you!” Torc wanted to spit at her, he had shared himself with her, and she thought he was some leper who visited the tavern wenches every night.

“I have to protect myself and Allegra by betraying her. What do you think that my people wouldn’t burn me at the stake because I let her go? What do you think that if I didn’t distract them and guide them to a fight they wouldn’t have caught her and tortured her? And what you truly believe that I wouldn’t set a warning on the magicks used in order to give your people time?!”

Torc couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed Sevti off of him, rough enough for her to know his displeasure, but light enough not to leave bruises. Torc stood up and moved from the spring. He stood tall and naked, feeling the cold night breeze carress his body.

“Sevti, I can’t stop being one of the faithful. I can’t stop this war, nor can I pretend to work against my people, but I can give your people warning. That way they will be able to defend their children and women. And as far as this… it was more then fun for me, but I don’t know what else it was. This was my first, and I never expected it to happen… Sevti I don’t know what you mean to me. I would marry you, if you bore my child, but would I do so happily? I don’t know, I can’t know. I can’t even sort my emotions right now.”

“A part of me says I should be done with you, confess my sin, and hope the One doesn’t judge me too harshly. Another part wants to be with you for as long as we can be together. I was honest with you, because I am an honest man. Though I don’t agree with a cause, I fight for it because they are my people. They aren’t people I call my friends, nor are they people who I look up to, but they are my people, and I have to help them.”

“I can’t do this Sevti, I betray a lot of things just being here, but I some of them I don’t care that I betray them. Yet, you are more then fun Sevti, you are at least someone I care enough for to tell the truth too.” Torc just felt so tired at the moment, he couldn’t explain it all, nor did he want to… there was just too much and never enough time.

[Sevti]

Sevti let his words, his harshness, smash against her without even the thinnest of defense. She knew she deserved his anger for throwing such an accusation at him - she knew she hadn't read him wrongly, that he would not be the type to use her harshly, to use anyone harshly. She felt that, at least for a little while, he had every right to think as badly of her as she accused him of being.

The Panling didn't fight when he pushed her from him and strode away. She'd expected it long before he'd actually done so, if she admitted the truth to herself. But she continued to watch him from where she lay naked on the ground, reading the tortured confusion that his Church (and even she - Be honest with yourself, Sev. You haven't made this easier on him.) caused in his mind. She listened to his words and wished she had answers for him. Wished she could tell him how to be true to both the Church that was, for some reason SHE couldn't fathom but was obviously so, important to him as well as to the good person that he wanted to be.

Then he spoke - again - about marriage and she stopped cold. Marry me? Why on earth would he think I'd want to marry hi... Oneist. Right. Don't quite get Joy for Joy's sake. Gotta correct him on that. But gently. I don't know if I can make a Oneist understand. But I've got to at least try with Torc.

When he finally finished speaking, his words running down into inadequacy, she let her dark eyes rise to his. It was several flickers before she could speak, wanting to keep anger from her words, to keep condemnation, to keep away all of the negative that she felt for his Church from attempting to taint him once more. She took a deep breath and began.

"Torc, I don't know how I feel about you either. I care for you - I wouldn't have shared Joy with you if I hadn't on some level. Something drew me to you from the first moment we met and that is an instinct that I trust. I should never have thrown those words at you in anger, because I knew there was no truth to them. I am angry at your Church for thinking that my people and I don't deserve to live just because we don't believe the same way that you do, that we are somehow evil because of it. And saddened that you could believe that there aren't some - probably many - among your church who would destroy those that did not try to harm them. I wish the world was as innocent as that, Torc. It was my anger at that which made me accuse you of being as cold as to treat anyone that way."

She rose to her knees, still not approaching the Oneist but refusing to take her eyes from him. Her dark hair hung in curtains before her, covering her breasts in some unintentional form of modesty. "But caring for you doesn't mean that I expect marriage from you. Far from it. I'm a Panling, Torc. More than that, I'm a Joyling. My worship, what gives me the greatest pleasure and brings me closest to my God, is the sharing of Joy with others in all it's forms. Whether that be sharing strong drink, or sharing my body, or just sharing a good laugh, it doesn't matter. It's about the JOY for me, and feeling good doing so with another person. I don't think that kind of life is made for marriage. And even if it is, someone else has taken my heart." Tears formed in her eyes as she thought of Abeo and the many unanswered questions regarding his fate. Not important now, she chided herself, quickly brushing away the moisture. Abeo is elsewhere and there's nothing I can do. Torc is here, and I need to take care of him first. "It doesn't mean I care for you any less, nor that I don't also wish to be with you as long as we possibly can. But marrying you is not why I chose to share Joy with you. Even if a child were to come out of our Joy. Because such a course would not be true to me."

She took a deep breath, continuing on. "And even if you fell deeply in love with me, and I with you, if marriage were something we decided we wanted from one another, would you be able to handle my worshipping in that way? Or would you ask me to stop, to convert to your beliefs? And if I did, because of my love for you, would that not change me into something different than the woman you've shared Joy with here in this Spring? Because being a Joyling is part of who I AM, Torc. It's part of what makes me Sevti of Pan's Isle. To take that away would lessen me, make me a shell of myself. Just like," she swallowed hard, knowing the truth of what she was about to say but wishing it were not true. "Just like taking you away from Dominicus would lessen you into someone you are not. It wouldn't be fair for either of us to ask it of the other, even if Abeo did not exist in my life, and I was the one shining star in yours."

Rising to her feet, she took a tentative step toward him. The need to be physically close to him was overwhelming, to hold him close in comfort as they both tried to make sense of themselves and each other and the difficulties that his Church presented by bringing War to her world, and forcing him to be a part of it. But fear kept her from rushing forward in this need. Fear that touching him would make it worse, that he would see her advance as the evil of a Panling's wantoness rather than her desire to be comforting for them both. But what do you have to lose? the small voice in her mind asked as she hesitated. If he reads your actions wrongly, will he be thinking any differently about Panlings than he does now? But if he recognizes it for what it is, maybe you'll still have the chance to come up with something together, something that will keep him from betraying those he feels he must be loyal to and something that will keep your people alive.

Each step echoed in her heart as she got nearer to him. "Marrying you or not, Torc, I still wish to be near you."

Another step. "To share as much time with you as I can."

The next. "To possibly find a way that will make you feel that you have not betrayed your people nor mine."

She now stood before him. "That will let you live with yourself rather than be torn between what you feel is right and what they tell you is right."

One soft hand reached out to rest against a tanned, scarred bicep. "I believe your reasons for doing what you've done, Torc. Even if I don't agree with them and even if they hurt me. There's something within you that comes out every time you speak, echoing to my soul that you are caught between difficult choices with no way out."

Her tongue darted from between her lips, needing to dampen their sudden dryness. "Let me try to help you find that way, Torc. Please."

[Torc Blackfoot]

Sadness came across Torc’s face. He reached out with his hand to caress Sevti’s face and yet kept a finger’s width away from her. He couldn’t touch her, if he had some kind of contact with her. Feeling that soft smooth flesh of her, he would lose the use of his tongue. He would become an adled fool, of course, he had been one already, but now he needed to tell her his feelings.

“No Sevti, I can’t let you do that. I need these feelings you invoke in me, but I also need to know that when I come home, when I see you, when I touch you; I need to know that you need me just as much.” Torc’s hand stopped before her cheek just waiting to caress her.

“Sevti, one of most precious dream is marriage. Looking into a persons face knowing that the bond we share is scared, beautiful, and between us. Sharing our bodies with one another, but no one else… Sharing our hearts, our laughs, and our pains. Yet if I am with you… you would allow me to share myself with others, but you expect the same.” Torc closed his eyes he couldn’t explain this feeling of wanting to be with only one person. Of holding that shared feeling of love sacred and holy.

“I care for you and what we have shared, but I need a person willing to share not just their body, but their life. Your talk of wanting to share joy, of our way of devotion, it frightens me. Does this mean that what we shared will be forgotten quickly? Does this mean that it really meant something a few flickers ago, but in a days time you will find another’s arms?”

“Sevti, I don’t doubt your feelings for me, but I have to doubt whether they will continue.” Torc felt awful as he spoke those words, looking into Sevti’s eyes and waiting to touch her, but how could he be with her when all this was simple a way to pray. Did he mean nothing, besides that he could connect with her? She said it wasn’t meaningless, yet it began to feel cheapen by the fact it was just some form of prayer to her.

Sevti wanted to share herself and joy with others, but to Torc that seemed to degrade the very joy they shared. How could he be with a woman that shared herself so? She loved another just like Torc, but he could forgive his feels about Sevti and truly be with Alexandrya. Yet if Sevti would have been willing to just share joy with him, and only him, then he could change.

“I don’t want you to betray your people or your faith, but I want this to be more then just…” Torc looked about as if trying to find the correct word. “Joy! I want this to be more then just Joy. I want to feel you in my arms and know that I only want you in my arms. I want to know that you don’t want others, not because you wish to share joy, but because you have found plenty with me.”

Torc looked at Sevti and he felt the deepest sorrow come forth from him.

“I want to Love, Sevti, not just Joy.”

[Sevti]

By holding himself so close, yet refusing to touch her, Torc could not have hurt Sevti more if he'd smacked her. She yearned to move forward, just enough to feel his hand brush her cheek, but knew that in doing so, Torc could see it as a betrayal rather than the need for simple contact that burned within the young Panling.

So she listened. Listened to his arguments, his reasonings, his wants, needs and desires. And, for him, she could see where it made sense. Where, to a Oneist, it would have to be one or the other, but not both. His world is so black and white, she thought. So stark where he should be able to embrace color. Pan, why couldn't he have been one of your own, so he could understand these things more easily?

When he finally stopped speaking, she looked up into his sparkling blue eyes, the sadness in them matched with the sadness in her own dark orbs. "You can't have Love without Joy, or Joy without Love, Torc. Even if it isn't that kind of surrendering your heart fully kind of love, love of some sort should still be there. For me, it's that way anyway."

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, fingers clenched on her forearms to prevent herself from reaching out to touch the one before her. "I could never forget you, or forget this, Torc." Her voice was barely over a whisper. "I've never forgotten Joy that I've shared, but even if others could be forgotten, you can't. It won't matter if I find myself in another's arms tomorrow, or if I share Joy a thousand times in the next ten yahren. I don't think anything could lessen this memory of you... of us."

She looked away from him, unable to meet the sadness that they shared. "But can we ever really make promises that things will continue?" she asked more to herself than to her lover. "Can I promise that you'll always be strong in my mind and in my heart, or that I will always be in yours? Even if I did realize that I loved you, gave up Abeo, gave up Pan, let you be enough for me - is there any promise that someday you wouldn't tire of me or find that I'm not the girl you fell in love with and want to be with someone else? Or that the reverse wouldn't be true? There is no way to make promises of the future. I can't even promise that my parents will stay together forever, no matter how much love I see reflected in their eyes when they look at one another. There are hundreds of things that could pull them apart. There are even more things that could pull US apart, if we decided to take a chance to see how deep these feelings ran. If I changed who I am for you and you changed who you are for me. If we found a way to meet in the middle without either of us feeling like we've betrayed what is most important to us."

A silent tear ran down her cheek, released when she closed her eyes and lowered her head. "We'd destroy each other, Torc. In the long run, we'd destroy each other. Because my heart is with Pan and yours is with Dominicus and even if I did give up my love and my search for Abeo, those two things would still be true. I'd eventually feel like you've caged me, and you would feel like I betrayed you, all because of the way we see the world. Joy isn't - LOVE isn't - singular to me. And I can't see any way that would make me feel comfortable changing that." The whisper of her voice became even quieter, until Torc had to strain to hear what she said next. "Even if I did love you, I can't change who I am. I'm sorry."

More tears spilled from her closed eyes, adding a dewy shine to her cheeks in the moonlight. She stood completely still, arms still wrapped around her chest, holding herself in so tightly, afraid that if she let herself go, she would explode into a million different sorrows. So she stood, and she held herself in, and she waited for what she knew was inevitable - the sound of Torc leaving the Springs and any thought of her behind in the land of dreams.

[Torc Blackfoot]

“You talk so much about giving up my dear Sevti?” Torc looked so sadly her. “Why don’t you ask what you gain? You gain someone that you can become one with… Marriage isn’t about the destruction of oneself, or the compromise we make with one another. Its about the finding of two half and binding them together. Its about finally completely that missing part of you, and shed perhaps what keeps you from become whole. Marriage isn’t sacred because my God says it so, its because that men and women need one another to be complete.”

Torc held Sevti for a flicker, feeling her warmth on him, wanting every fact in the world to change so that it would work. “Sevti, I will leave if you wish, but what scares me about this is that you can describe sharing Joy a thousand times. When I wouldn’t mind having Joy a thousand times… just with one person. Sevti, you make demands. You say you wouldn’t change? Yet to my ears it says that I must change for you? Why, am I less important then you? Am I wrong for waiting only one person to share myself with? You keep telling me that you won’t change, then why should I?”

OOC: Sorry for the short post… a little tired.

[Sevti]

When his arms came around her, Sevti let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She'd been so convinced that he would leave without another word. Not that his words brought her comfort - once again, they just emphasized the differences between the two of them.

The petite Panling rested her head on her lover's chest, unable to look him in the eye. "You aren't less important than I am. Or more important either. And you shouldn't have to change, Torc, and neither should I. Or maybe, we both should give up only what we're willing to to make it work. But I can't see where we'd find a common ground for our beliefs."

Hot tears welled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks to run over Torc's skin. "Everything is gaining and losing. Everything we do. Every choice we make. If I chose you, I gain someone who will respect me and treat me with a sacred love that I wonder if I truly deserve. And that gain is great. But I will lose the ability to practice my faith - part of that which makes me who I am. And I lose Abeo, the first man to ever steal my heart completely. I don't know if I can afford to lose that much. But if I choose to let you go, I'll keep my faith, maybe find Abeo once more and gain who knows what future. But I'll lose you, and... I can't bear the thought right now of losing you either."

Raising her head from his shoulder, Sevti finally turned her gaze to the achadhiel that held her in his arms. "I don't want to make that decision right now, Torc. I don't want to think about a future with you but without my worship, or with my worship but without you. I don't want to think of Gods and marriage and what can be and what can't. I want you to stay with me. Just for now, Torc. Just for tonight. And let everything else work itself out in it's own time and in it's own way."

She licked her lips nervously, the pale pink of her tongue shining wetly in the moonlight as it darted from between her rosy lips. "Please."

OOC: No problems, love. I know what kind of schedule you've been keeping! Post when you can and don't worry about the rest. (Since my own posting will be necessarily erratic until things settle down here.)

[Torc Blackfoot]

OOC: No problems, love. I know what kind of schedule you've been keeping! Post when you can and don't worry about the rest. (Since my own posting will be necessarily erratic until things settle down here.)

Torc was a simple man, or at least he viewed himself as one. He had worked hard most of his life, took care of his father especially at the end, and he had even found love in a half breed like himself. Yet Sevti was something that didn’t fit into his life. With her there was no easy answers, no real direction to take, for every path of the future that Torc looked down… He only saw heartbreak and immense obstacles.

Still Torc held the small Panling in his arms, stroking the back of her hair, moving his hand in such a way as to stroke the outer part of her ear. Using his thumb to lightly go over the round curves of her ear till it reached her lobe. It felt strange to him and in truth he had wondered what the feel of Alexandrya’s ears were like.

When Torc’s thoughts turned to Alexandrya, he felt that they were becoming hazy. Almost as if the focus of his mind couldn’t bring about the details that he remembered. Sevti was clear in his mind, they way she had moved, the smell of her, and the soft skin

“Things never work out for themselves, Sevti. They only get worse if you let them. A are asking a diviner to forget the future and live in the present. I wish I could, for all my plans and all my logic tells me that what we have would destroy the both of us, and yet I still wish to hold you.” Torc head lowered and for a flicker there foreheads touched, and then he moved his cheek over the top of her head. He didn’t move, he wanted her warmth for a little longer, as well as, her scent.

[Sevti]

A shudder of desire coursed through Sevti's body as Torc's fingers traced the delicate curve of her ear. She knew he was right. Knew that they couldn't just let all of this solve itself because it wouldn't. But right now... right now she didn't WANT to think. Why did he have to make things even more difficult than they already were? Why couldn't he just FEEL? Just for now.

She felt the soft pressure of his check atop her head, his arms warm around her and the desire rose even more. She wanted him to be sure that he wanted Joy with her once more, rather than them falling into it because they couldn't control themselves. That would only complicate matters. But the need within her made it difficult to hold herself back. Speak. Answer him, she told herself fiercely. If you're talking, you can't kiss him, feel his warm skin under your lips. Taste his...

TALK, Sevti.

"You're right, Torc," she admitted, her fingers moving softly over his back. The raised ridge of a scar appeared under her questing and she idly began tracing it as she continued to speak. "They don't work out for themselves. And it could be that this would destroy us both. But would it do so tonight? Right now, if we ignored all the 'might be's and 'it can't's, would it destroy either one of us to be together again? If you continue holding me until the first rays of the sun warm this glade, what will it harm? In the end, what will destroy us more - leaving now, or staying?"

Unable to hold back any longer, she pressed her lips softly to his chest and held them there, waiting for him to either pull away - or pull her closer.

[Torc Blackfoot]

“Both Sevti, both.” It came out of Torc a whisper that lead into a painful word.

“My body will stay, but my heart must leave. I can’t bare this sweet torture, being in your arms, but know that you will leave and seek others. I know the reasons, but it is torture none the less. You would wish for the now to last forever. Sevti, I want that as well, but the now doesn’t last that long, for one flicker might seem like an eternity. It still ends, and in that next instance I must do steel myself for what is next.”

Torc kissed the top of Sevti’s head and then spoke, “This must be overly harsh, and I wish I could say something that wouldn’t cause you pain, but I can’t allow myself to feel any more then… then what I feel this instant, and if that is enough then I will stay.”

[Sevti]

"What you feel is what you feel, Torc," Sevti assured him softly, her hand caressing his cheek. "Now. Tomorrow. Forever. And if that's just fondness for me, or if it's love, or if it's more or less... then that's what it is. I don't know what my feelings are, Torc, other than wanting to be with you right now. And if that's what you're feeling then..."

She rose to her toes, pressing her body close to his as her lips sought his once more. Her nipples tightened as they brushed upward across his chest, sending more desire coursing through her. Dampness that had nothing to do with the warm springs they'd recently enjoyed appeared at the juncture between her legs.

After a burn, she pulled away again, the need in her dark eyes smouldered as they rose to meet his own blue eyes. "Then it's enough for me," she finished softly.

[Torc Blackfoot]

As Sevti kissed Torc, Torc hand gently wrapped around the alabaster skin of Sevti’s curve back, some how a flicker of life return to him, and his manhood twitched against her taut stomach. Torc closed his eyes as Sevti left his lips bringing his left hand slowly up the curve of her back, lightly crossing the skin of her sholder blade and slowly going down her arm.

Her soft skin felt like silk, and Torc felt himself draw into her. Feeling himself press up against her his manhood flash full of pulsing blood, for it was the combine heat of their two bodies that left a great void of desire to be filled.

Torc’s face moved to touch hers, wanting to press his lips and move his tongue into Sevti’s mouth. He felt like taking her, yet it wasn’t to do with force, but the need to send her to the edge of passion again and again. He wanted to take her so deeply and purely, he didn’t even understand what had brought upon this lust.

Torc for a flicker lost a little bit of his refine control. His hand grabbed Sevti’s bottom roughly, and picked her up with a grunt. Torc went in with a rough kiss sucking in Sevti’s lip, barely biting it with his teeth. Not so that it brought pain, but enough so that it was caught between his teeth.

Something had changed within Torc to a new animal savagery. He wanted Sevti in such a mixture of ways that he wasn’t sure it was just to bring pleasure anymore. Releasing her lip Torc spoke, “Tell me, how you wish me to take you. Tell me for I feel this will not be soft anymore!” It was in a rough manner, a deely gruff and grainy feel to his words.

Torc even began to moved Sevti’s body up and down upon his. Where had his patience gone? What had befallen his mind to override the softness that was in him? Torc’s mind had spoken the questions with in a sea of lust… and didn’t expect an answer.

[Sevti]

Torc's savagery surprised and excited Sevti. The subtle pain of her lip as he caught it between his teeth, the roughness as he lifted her in the air to slide himself into her, the gruffness of his voice as he told her that there would be no softness in this joining - all served to enflame her further.

She hadn't expected it, this animal passion. She expected him to be tentative, to share Joy with a gentle touch. But somehow, this felt right. And she wasn't about to question it.

Her nails sank deep into the skin of his shoulders, helping him to hold her aloft. "Take me like this, Torc" she rasped, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist. "Don't think, just ACT."

She herself let go all concious thought, becoming an animal herself. With a growl, she lowered her mouth to his neck and nipped against the flesh. She used the powerful muscles in her thighs to help raise and lower herself on his manhood as the dampness of her sex now covered his waist with each movement.

Each stroke of her body against his chest brushed her nipples, sending shocks that shivered her body. Convulsively, her nails raked upward roughly over his skin and her teeth bit into the soft flesh of his shoulder. The flicker of thought that she should apologize flashed through her mind, then instantly out again as another wave of need overcame her. The only thing she could say was "Torc...", her voice low, raspy and full of desire.

[Torc Blackfoot]

From Torc’s mouth a moan escaped hoarse and filled with need. His body tense as hard as stone, oddly feeling a sense of disconnection from his body, except for the very tip of his manhood. It felt like all of his being had join together at the very tip and his need burned of wanting to push it threw Sevti’s. It was a sense of wanting to abandon everything and push threw her. To take the pleasure fast and hard, to fulfill her like some tormented flood waters washing away everything in their path.

And as Torc penetrated Sevti, his hands tighten hard upon her hips and fleshy bottom. He cared not if he marked Sevti with half moon cuts fo finger nails and finger length bruises.

A deep groan started from his chest and slowly came out between his clenched teeth. Torc locked his eyes with Sevti, while his body started the hard rythum of their movement. It was intense… it was rage, it was sexual, it was hot, it was wet, it was… powerful and animalistic.