What you fear is what you are....[Chyril 23 Closed]

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Gwayne of Vendeling
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

Gwayne nodded when Eivlys said that Amber would come to visit, although he wondered why. Probably to see Aetya, although.....

So when she asked about Aetya he just answered "Uh no, she would just show up in the evening, or by day as a swan. I only saw her once as a swan though. She was always beautiful, sure , full of action, I admired that. And she could smile sometimes and make the world change it seemed. But she was very worried then about the Mothers creatures who would die soon. And so did she.............."

It took Gwayne a while to get himself readjusted while thing about the hate and fear and the loss. Well and the scratches he got from a panicking Syrawenn. He could still feel those kicking feet. It had done enough harm to his body and his ego alike. He still wondered if she sometimes really disliked him.

Then he noticed Eivlys telling that he should not worry about being painted around those silly bards and he felt more comfortable about that, though the nails tracing his chest called forth a whole army of goosebumps all over his body and he did not know how to respond on it, fearing that she would stop.

"I.....I......I...um .... uh .... am myself...."
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Eivlys
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Post by Eivlys »

She noticed the good bumps and looked up at him. “Are you cold?” She asked, sitting up so she could move to get some more firewood.

“Tell me, Gwayne.” She asked as she picked up a small log and stirred the coals with it. The orange and black of the fire let loose with a thousand little lights like fireflies in the heart. She stirred up the coals and set the log on the fire to keep the cold out. “Do you like yourself?” She turned looking at him from the hearth.
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

"uh no I am not cold" Gwayne softly answered. Then she asked him if he liked himself.. and it hit him hard he had never thought about that so it took a while to create a answer for that.

"I.. I... I think I don't like it that I am not normal like the others in the village, that from the moment that I was found I caused trouble for my foster parents. If I would have been a normal human boy it would never have happened. All of it, I would not have been sick so I would have all those protective runes, my mom would not have made me a mercybringer to strike back on the others and to give me a place in society. I hate being not normal because it makes me unhappy. And it makes others around me unhappy."
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Post by Eivlys »

She smiled at him, a comforting smile. “If only, they are wicked words, are they not? If only I had not been caught by the menagerie, if only I had not fled to the enchanted woods, if only I had not been a swan, if only I could be normal.” She returned to sit by him. “If only I knew what normal was? I think there is this idea of it in every persons mind, but no one is ever normal. If I was I might grow tired of it.”

She leaned on his shoulder again. “Please pet my hair again, it felt nice.” She said softly. “In a way I like that I am different, it reminds me that I have much to offer others.”

She hummed to herself a little. “I like you, and I like your markings, and I like what you are. Just do not confuse what you are with who you are.” She picked up her cup. “My tea is gone. Perhaps it is time to call it a night?”
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

"Maybe your right. It still is not good though." Gwayne said with a soft smile. His hand moved up to stroke the hair of the woman.

"I know that as a person that I am ok, I learned that from Syrawenn actually, and Aetya and Gavin and Amber and... and.. and.. Enough people, but does not change some things. Some things you just have to live with I guess. But I am glad that you like me. I just hope you like me because of who I am and not just because of my special markings that go down into the unknown." Gwayne's voice had a clear ring of teasing when he said the last words.

"Yeah lets call it a night.....a good night..."
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Post by Eivlys »

She nodded and stood walking over to pick up Aetya’s bed. She looked over as she lifted the bassinet. “Would you like to carry her back to the bedroom?” She asked, the large basket made for the sleeping child was rather unwieldy for her to carry.

She handed it over to him to help her, and she led the way back to the bedroom. She lit a taper before leaving the room and when she came into the bedroom she half walked, and half danced about the room, lighting the candles and lastly the lamp at the side of the bed. She lifted the taper and blew it out. “Just put her over there.” She pointed to the hanger that held the bassinet, a frame with two hooks that held the baby basket in a sort of hammock style.

She reached for a ribbon and started to braid her hair. “You know Amber well then?” She asked as she wove her hair together. She needed to braid it at nights or it was a mess, and the fact she was braiding it now was out of habit. It just was the right thing to do. “I mean, are you and she… you know?”
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

Gwayne almost jumped over the table when Eivlys asked if he could help with the baby. Because of his length it was pretty easy for him to pick up the basket and bring it to the bedroom. He was very careful and tender with the little lady.

He was very relaxed and just patiently waited until she was ready, utterly enjoying Eivlys actions and feeling actually at home. What amazed the adhiel, but having his arms full prevented him from scratching his head.

Gwayne placed the baby as requested and could not resist wondering how it would be to be a real father.... special he guessed.

When Eivlys reached for a ribbon and started to braid her hair Gwayne turned back to face the woman. “You know Amber well then?” She asked while she wove her hair together. “I mean, are you and she… you know?” she said.

Gwayne instandly turned red again... "I.....I......I.... don't think that she is interested in me... I... I... have never been with a woman... uh..... so.... as far as I know.....no....she seemed to much attracted to Gavin anyway....all women seem to be attracted to Gavin.."
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Post by Eivlys »

She finished her braid, tying it into a bow at the end of her hair. “Gavin… and he loves her?” She asked as she turned down the covers and fluffed the pillows. “I hardly ever sleep in beds, so this will be nice. I usually sleep in the reeds or rushes. As a swan you do not get to sleep in a bed often.”

She looked over at him. “How long has she loved him? Have they been together long?” She asked as she made the bed ready for two people. “What side do you sleep on?”
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

Gwayne listened to what Eivlys said to him, the inexperienced adhiel was not really understanding what she was asking but funny enough he would answer honestly as he always did. Gwayne was not really good in understanding the game between man and woman..... between ones how loved and those who where loved..

"Gavin loving Amber ???" he actually sounded a bit amazed like the thought was strange to him. He took a flicker to think about the question then answered "As a sister maybe, clearly as a friend. Though I wonder if he sees any woman except Syrawenn in reality. Those two are like two fish swimming in a pond filled with love unable to leave it."

Gwayne nodded because that answered the question to him.

Still full of thinking about Syrawenn and Gavin and what the shared he absentmindedly answered the question about the bedside "No need I sleep on the floor, as usually.. I often sleep in the fields and below tree's so its norm,,,,,," then he realized that he could share a bed with a woman and it strangled him, killing the last word coming out of his mouth. His face taking on a new record breaking color of red... and that was a miracle in itself...
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Post by Eivlys »

She paused in her fluffing of a pillow and held it for a moment. “She likes Gavin though.” Suddenly it made a little sense. Poor Amber, loving someone who would not love you back, she must feel a little like one of the poor souls who lost one of the maid’s cloaks. She let out a long breath. She would have to show Amber more love, to ease the pain. It might not be wise to bring him up.

She dropped the pillow on the bed and looked over at Gwayne and smiled. “Oh, are you sure, the floor is very hard.” She picked up a pillow for him none the less and walked to a chest that rested at the foot of the bed and started to take out a large quilt. “I was hoping to have someone to snuggle up against.” She mourned.

“I used to climb into bed with my father and sleep, and it was nice to snuggle him.” She said thinking back to when she was young. He was always so warm and big. “Are you sure?” She asked again, holding the quilt and pillow.
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

Gwayne thought of Amber, he had never been fully aware that she liked Gavin so much. Gwayne was notorious for forgetting to notice things.

Eivlyses remarks about the floor being hard and she wanting to snuggle up against him and being warm and big made the young adhiel very shy and stirred the dark feelings inside him. For a few flickers lust roared through his body, showing him pictures of the woman in positions that he would never normally think of.

"Uhhh, no I think it would be smarter that I sleep on the ground... I touched the cloak remember ? Now I am also scared because of all the other feelings that find their way to my soul."

Gwayne sighed
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Post by Eivlys »

She started to lay out the blanket. “I never thought about that. Being afraid of my feelings. I mean they are my feelings right? Why should I be afraid of them?” She knelt down straitening the blanket. “It is like fearing your hand or your foot.” She looked up at him from where she crouched over the blanket and smiled. “Sometimes the feelings are not from magic, but from your soul. I do not think your feelings would overwhelm you to the point you would lose control.” She said and shrugged.

Standing she fluffed the pillow, her braid was over one shoulder and her slim neck was exposed. She blushed a little as she looked at him. “You may not be the only one with thoughts and feelings that may need to be kept in check.” She put the pillow down on the floor.

Stepping over to him she smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “If you change your mind, you are welcome to join me.” She said to him. “See you tomorrow.”
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Post by Gwayne of Vendeling »

"Some of those feelings are not mine" Gwayne softly responded.... "They can not be.."

He lay down on the ground. His head on the pillow and wrapped himself into the blanket.

He appreciated the soft kiss although it made the feelings confused again. He smiled non the less, bent over the bed and kissed her lips softly.

"See you in the morning filled with darkness dear lady.." he said while he laid down on the pillow. His thoughts where blurred while he flowed away to sleep. But some where clear.

I kissed her.... I kissed a woman on the lips.... Eivlys ...... Amber ?

Then darkness came and he woke up in the normal world.
The Goddess is at my side, until she decides to leave me...

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Eivlys
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Post by Eivlys »

Did he just… She blushed at the kiss. That was a bold move, much more bold then she expected. She pulled the covers up to her neck and smiled. She thought of him and Amber and she felt warm inside. She would meet them in a day, oh her day would be long as a swan.

She did not need to close her eyes to feel the world waking around her. The dream was being dusted out of her mind by the knowledge she was going to need to change. Illuminatus was waking and so should she.
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