Councel of Dort [Closed] - Samheen 25th

[Gavin Tylvan]

Gavin did listen to what others said. And the fact that Abner was fully present did cause him to feel a little relieved. For all his little quirks, the gnome was a friend and a person Gavin trusted completely. The others seemed trustworthy, some more than the others, but only Abner proved it so far. And Amber to a degree. While he felt like he could trust Syrawenn for some strange reason, somewhere deep bellow there was a hint of caution. Oh, he wanted to place his trust in her. But, there was this tiny worm of a doubt deep bellow. Just like there was another worm of doubt that had Amber's name on it. But, they were there for different reasons. While the chaotic girl simply did not prove herself enough and was slowly destroying that doubt with each passing moment, it was Amber herself that managed to instill that doubt in him. And he wanted to trust her. He did trust her completely once.

And then Syra asked those questions of her and that doubt grew. And for a moment Gavin was ready to question the girl whom he called a friend once. Once? She is my friend still. What the Nether am I doing? Doubting everyone? The Dortman held his hand before him and noticed it shook uncontrollably. Quickly he clutched it with his other hand and pressed it to his stomach. Damned nerves. Too many doubts. Too many fears. Too many enemies. What is next? Do I begin to doubt whether Abner is on my side. Being careful is one thing. Being paranoid is another. Relax, Gavin. Take a deep breath. Amber is your friend. She is not lying. Syra does not need to prove anything. They can be trusted. Can't they? He was not sure anymore. A dream. A kiss. Being abandoned while unconscious. Being hunted. Making choices. Caring. Doing the right thing. But, what is the right thing? Maybe I am the evil? Maybe I..... NO. Not like that. Focus. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Suddenly he turned from the wall and walked swiftly towards the others. Friends. Remember. Do not panic. Remember the kiss. Remember what she said. What she did for you. Did she do it? Or was it a dream? Oh, she did. No dream is that real. Amber never kissed you. She is a friend too. Remember how she held you after the demon died. Not her fault. And Abner.... Well, you know him. He is a gnome. He sometimes talk funny and has strange ideas and gets distracted easily. But, he fought with you. He and you killed that thing together. He was wounded on that ship. He is Abner. Yea. Friends. Now, ask your questions. Ask your friends. And have no doubts. Yet, he was still not sure. But, he was trying.

"You know, Amber if I were paranoid, this whole situation would seem strange to me. Like for instance Count sending you to the Keep. And letting Abner and me go to the Clans. Why, if I were paranoid I might say it was very convenient for him to get trapped in that curtain when the demon attacked. He is a Count and he rules Islay. That is not something a fool can do. And in that cellar he did act like a fool. Now, I hope he is a lucky fool and not what my paranoid part tells me. Not what I don't want him to be. Not the traitor. I need some answers. And I need them fast. Or else I will go insane. Too many questions. Too many doubts. And that is not wise. Now, Abner, in case you missed it, these are Syrawenn, a girl I met in my dreams and a man who travels with her Gwayne. They are fighting the same battle we are. And we might meet soon. Or rather we should. Now, there should be a way past the northern wall." He turned and pointed, " That one. But, I can't seem to find it. Now, either it is magickal or hidden. Could you help? I know you have this gift when it comes to hidden passages." And the big man actually grinned remembering his chase after the ferret in search of a gnome.

[Amber Kynterle]

Amber looked back and forth between Gavin and Syrawenn pleadingly. Why did they keep asking her questions she didn't understand? Why were they interrogating her like this? Did they think she had something to do with the trouble they were now in? Had she made a mistake somewhere along the way, done something stupid that she didn't even know about?

"I... I..." she tried to explain herself, not really understanding what they were asking of her. "I told you everything I know," she said softly. "I... I don't understand... I'm just a farmgirl, I don't know anything about spying or secret missions or fighting! I just did what I was told!" She looked back to Gavin. "Please Gavin you have to believe me! I didn't want to leave you and Abner, but the Count said I had to go to the Keep... I... I thought I was doing the right thing..."

She bit her lower lip, looking back and forth between the two of them. Maybe she had done something stupid after all. They seemed to be looking at her like she should have known better. Her gaze fell to the floor, and she tried very hard to just focus on her boots. She knew she wasn't the most intelligent girl around; she'd been raised on a farm, taught the simple ways of life, taught to be honest and honorable and moral. It wasn't in her nature the seek out other people's secrets, or try to figure out why they were bad. She had been taught to assume people were good unless they proved otherwise. So where had she gone wrong?

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwaye kept silent, he had decided that he would not speak anymore before he truly had something to say.

He just watched the talking people, tasted the undercurrents and was a bit amazed that these people actually shared a common goal. Although he had a feeling that the common goal was not preventing a war.....maybe just preventing a war between themselves.

Only the Abner person was not influenced by the spirit of war. What was a good thing. A few steps and Gwayne was a littlebit out of sight. But when Gavin introduced Syrawenn and him to Abner he nodded towards the little man. And was a bit amazed that a smile appeared on his own face. There was something likeable about the man. Maybe because he could be a faery in his own way.

"Uh, high Abner... nice to meet you. Do you also want to prevent the coming war ?"

[Syrawenn]

Syrawenn groaned. Things were not unfolding like they were supposed to. Gavin sounded very much on edge with his talk about paranoia and Amber quickly followed down the same path with the helplessnes gig. Gwayne was acting like he had no place here and Abner...was silent.

Wonderful. Am I the only sane person left? Now that...is a scary thought. Sure, she could be faking it, but it doesn't sound like it. Don't lay it on too thick, girl. You are obviously NOT 'just a farmgirl' or you would not have ended up here...there....in the first place.

"Right, next time someone tells you to go somewhere, you ask em why." The girl told Amber, looking her straight in the eyes. "No offense, lady, but yeah, going somewhere without asking what the flip yer supposed to do is not the smartest thing around. But we all make mistakes, right? I know I do." She glared at Gwayne.

"So, let's pretend all is well for the moment. If reality bites us in the ass I'm sure we can turn around quickly enough to whack it over the head. Let's cut the self pity, the low self esteems and the not-subtly hidden anger." Again a glare at Gwayne. "And let's get effective, shall we? Instead of doubting what we can or can't do, let's see what we can do. What are your strengths? What's the hidden hook? I'll start so you guys won't get shy because of the sudden bragging we're gonne do."

Syrawenn took a deep breath. Despite the tough words she did not like talking about herself at all. Yet in order to get anything done here, she seemed to have to give the example, however weird that might seem to anyone who knew her.

"I can tell you right now that people underestimate the damage a simple kick or uppercut can do. That's my angle. Can run a pretty bit too and for some reason my weird ideas usually turn out to be true. So, what's your strong bit?" She poked the other woman, trying to get her out of whatever self-inflicted mood she got stuck in before looking over her shoulder to the others. With a bit of luck they'd take this invitation to step out of the dark mood hanging over this small group.

It never occured to her that she had just described items that could be useful in a confrontation, but probably not in any other situation. It was a telltale of what exactly Syrawenn expected of the current state of affairs.

[Gavin Tylvan]

For a flicker Gavin was taken by surprise. The words Amber said were not what he expected. Yet, he knew they were true. He met her family. This is getting to her too. All because of me. I invited her to come to meet the Count. Well, maybe not me. He was the one who took her to Islay. Away from me. I think I need to have a long conversation with Count Johann once this is done. To see what his motives were. But, now he needed to take care of the girl before him. To take away her fears. The doubts he had flickers before were gone for now. They would return later, but now he had a friend in need.

Syrawenn spoke first and he let her finish. But, for start he let her question hang and faced Amber. His shoulders stooped slightly as the big man tried to look her in the eyes. His hand went to her chin and he lifted it gently and held her so he could se her eyes. "Now, listen to me, Amber. I never said I did not trust you. I was talking about the Count. He has the stone. He may want us all dead. Or maybe it is not him. Maybe someone else has some other plan. But, I don't doubt you." Not yet. "I just needed to know all you could tell me. And you did. That is enough for me." For now. Later there might be more questions. When you are ready for them. Or rather not ready, but you can handle answering them. An encouraging smile was on his lips before he let go of her and turned to Syra.

But, as he turned he moved so he stood next to Amber, big man's arm touching her shoulder. There was no intention to do so on his part. Some part of his mind merely needed to tell her he that was by her side. That he was there. "My strengths? Well, I can handle a sword pretty well. Well enough to kill a demon. Couldn't have done it without Abner, but the creature is dead. Apart from that I can make people listen to my words. Say the right thing at a right time, sort to speak." A short pause and he smiled. "And I am quite stubborn. Kick me, punch me, cut me, and I just keep coming at you. Not sure if that is good or bad, but I do that a lot."

[Anarión Herunna]

OOC: Just got a PM from Gav, which I appreciate.

I sent him this answer, which really goes for all of you.

I am still superseding the thread, yes. So far you guys are doing fine on your own, although I have been pondering the possibility of interrupting again. I have been discussing the thread with Vanadius and he has some ideas he wants to implement as well.

Right now, you guys seem to be doing well without modding. Perhaps I might just intervene to push it in the planned direction. Until further notice [post] you guys may continue your, well, intense, rambling...

EDIT: Right. I think I will push forward, well, just about later tonight. Or at least give you a clue. Then you may choose how to proceed. Talking or acting. Or perhaps both.

[Amber Kynterle]

Amber was no professional when it came to understanding other people, but she could tell that Syrawenn was not happy with her answer. To be honest, she wasn't happy with it herself. She was mad at herself because she was apparently more naive than she had thought she was, and mad because she was proving herself rather incompetent to the others. She could tell that Gavin, too, was a bit surprised and not really satisfied with her words. She gave a mental shrug as she absently listened to Syrawenn talk. Well, there wasn't a whole lot she could...

Her private thoughts were shattered as she felt strong fingers on her chin, lifting it up so that her eyes were looking into Gavin's. She looked back into his eyes, and she found herself having a hard time concentrating on his words. His eyes were so handsome...

She shook herself as she realized he had turned away and was talking to the group as a whole know, and hoped she didn't look as starry eyed as she felt. But she could feel his arm against her shoulder, and she had to force herself not to look up at him... or lean against him... or....

"Well," she blurted when Gavin was done, "I uh... I'm kinda good with knives," she put in. "I'm a fair aim with one, though certainly no expert. I... well... I killed one of the guys at the keep like that," she said uncomfortably. "Or rather, wounded him, then... finished him... um, but anyway, I can run too, not very far, but I am fast. And a lot of guys talk a lot when they're around me... not really sure if that's a strength or not, but my mother always said to listen when guys start talking, because I'll learn something about me. And for some reason, they like to talk about everything to me. Kind of annoying, really, and I'd be mad if I didn't talk as much as they do..."

[Syrawenn]

An intimate moment.
Touching.
The big man never moved away from Amber.

Syrawenn's heart sank. Well, what did you expect? The guys always go for the wounded ones, those in need...vulnerable. Screw it! So I'm not vulnerable! Deal with it or not! And if not, I can deal with it myself! I've been doing fine so far. Still alive, aren't I?

Surprised with her own outburst while she had tried to lift the mood in the group the girl looked up again, just in time to see Amber look at Gavin.

Oh man...I thought I could handle this. I wanna be effective. The bats tumbled around again, leaving her feeling slightly nauseous. Come on, I gotta be able to handle this...this is not the time to ...I mean, they are all answering your question. Yup, YOUR question, they are listening and taking you seriously and all. This is good. This is a good group. Don't go making a mess now. It's all good. So we got a demon fighter and Amber has actually taken a life. I could learn something from her. I don't WANT to dislike her! But I'm not sure if I want to like her either.

Her mouth was dry. The youngster found out when she tried to wet her lips, the frown still on her face despite her best efforts to loose it. She wanted to focus on the other answers still forthcoming, but her mind kept turning back to the little moment she'd just witnessed between two close friends.

Very close friends.
Very very close oh to the NETHER with it! I ain't gonna let this screw up our chances! She wasn't entirely sure which chances she was thinking of.

Before she knew it, the girl was on her feet, raising her hands in a defensive gesture.

"ALRIGHT!" She raised her voice, managing to keep an apologetic tone to it. "Alright, I'm sorry to interrupt. Gwayne, Abner, I really want to hear what you got to say and Gavin, Amber, nice going. Good stuff, good points. All very useful. We gotta be useful. And right now I'm not being useful cause there is something I really, really, really gotta say now before I explode into a million tiny bits even Dominicus won't be able to pester anymore."

She took a step backwards, out of the group. "And I didn't want to do this, cause it's not effective and I don't want to screw things up, but I'm gonna say it anyway cause I can't think right now and we need to think. There. So...Oh damn...The gods know I ain't the easiest person around and yer all entitled to think the worst, but...uh..."

Her face was trying to decide which colour of the spectrum to go for. Right now it chose red. So this is how Gwayne felt, eh? But no, I won't go exactly that far. Things chance and I won't have my life ruined over something I can't have.

"Okay, so the thing is I'm being distracted by something that ain't entirely clear right now and I thought I could ignore it but I can't." She eyed Gavin and Amber. "Sorry guys, hate to be a bother, but Gavin....you gotta know that we've met in other dreams, right? And it was all very interesting and all. Good stuff, good fights, good talks. No complaints there."

Syrawenn took a deep breath as the frown deepened. "You said something a while back about not knowing something and I got the same problem cause I'm not sure what you were talking about. So I'm gonna break the damn deadlock and take the risk of being laughed at cause it's damn well worth it to get out of this tension. Gavin, you got a problem, mister, cause I really, REALLY like you and it seems that feeling is not going away and it's stronger in every damn dream and it's not something I'm used to and it's screwing up my thinking. It's fire."

Her heart was pounding so hard the girl could scarcely hear herself. "I don't KNOW you in wakey wakey land, so don't feel obliged to answer or react or whatever. Just wanted this out of my system and well, I'm not expecting anything, okay? A girl can dream, obviously, but I can be realistic too. So...damn, I suck at this."

She looked around at the other faces, feeling incredibly awkward for her sudden revelation. Her face was still set in determination, her back straight and her arms folded. The ball was back with the others. Syrawenn had done what she felt was the right thing and now she'd have to bear the consequences, even if it meant she had driven Amber straight into Gavin's arms now that they were all being so damn truthful.

It's better to know before we ever meet than carry false hopes and dreams.

"Right. Done now. Shall we continue?" That sounded incredibly lame. The fire was still burning brightly and she knew that same fire inside of Gavin. She had seen it on their trip to the demon's tower, she had heard it in his stories about the demon army. She had seen it....when she had kissed him.

WHY didn't I just kiss him again? Would that be so unfair? Bloody bones in a bowl, WHY didn't I just kiss him? You BLIMMIN COWARD! You already pulled down yer pants in front of anyone with yer little speech right now, what difference would it have made?

The difference between an honest answer and an awkward position...it would not have been fair to him. The little voice reminded her. With a sigh the girl resigned herself to whatever was to come. Luckily there was a very good reason for them all to be here, or she might have decided to stroll off right now.

[Gavin Tylvan]

The look in Amber's eyes as he held her chin almost shattered his concentration. The pause in his words as he turned to face the others helped hide how coarse his throat felt. How dry his mouth were. What does it mean? That look in her eyes.... For me? And Gwayne's words.... Could they be true? Could she... Am I... Is she in.. LOVE with me? Is that why my stomach feels uneasy and my knees weak? Why I feel the heat rising to my cheeks? And... And... And when did this happen? Damn, she is beautiful. And... And... And do I LOVE her too? Is this why I feel like this? Cause I love her?

A slight pause as he swallowed a big lump that was in his throat. And why do I think of Syra so much? Even when I look at Amber And why do my lips burn each time I see her? So many new feelings. So many questions. When did the life get this complicated? Damn, I feel like I would rather face a score of demons rather than Syra or Amber. When did this happen? Does the touch of a girl burn too? I came to Dort looking for luck. I found torture instead. And, why does it feel so pleasant then? This torture seems sweeter than honey. And do I have to choose? Or can I just run away? Run away for the first time cause I am scared?

The big man always found that rage was a nice replacement for fear. Rage filled the spot fear carved nicely. Rage made it easier to fight the source of fear. Yet this time no rage was coming to his aid. He liked both girls. He loved both girls. Felt the need to make then safe. Protected. Happy. But, can I do that? Can I balance well enough? Or do I have to choose? Whom will I hurt with my words? With my actions? With the lesser love I feel for her? Please, don't make me choose. Not yet. Not now. Damned Gwayne. Why did he have to point out Amber loves me? No, not damned. He made this fair. Somehow Gavin felt he could be isolated for a flicker. He needed time to think without disturbance. He needed a shell in which to crawl and hide and decide. A glass bell.

And then Syrawenn spoke and at first her words calmed the big man a bit. As she went on, Gavin's suspicion grew more and more. And, as she started speak how she was not the easiest person around, he managed a weak smile. But, the color of her face made it disappear. And as she pressed on, Gavin though he could hear his glass bell cracking. No. Don't make me do this. And then came those faithful words. Damn Gavin, you got a problem, mister, cause I really, REALLY like you and it seems that feeling is not going away and it's stronger in every damn dream and it's not something I'm used to and it's screwing up my thinking. It's fire. He could almost hear the sound of shattering glass. Her next words came out in a blur as time sped by. He felt a trickle of cold sweat down his spine and he felt the blood rushing to his face and then the time slowed to a halt.

For a few flickers the big man felt oddly out of place and that the only sound he heard was his own labored breathing. The CHOICE. It is here. No more time. No more glass bells. Two girls and Gavin. And love. For both. Gods, I do love them both.

Images played through his head. Newcomers Feast. Revelry. Joy. And a girl in the crowd. Amber. The bloody bandage covered his forehead as he came looking for Hex when she introduced them to each other. A small chuckle came as he remembered how she warned him not to call her a lady. She is feisty. And has been feisty ever since. Must be why I like her. Stands up fro herself. He remembered how they hid in the side street as they waited for the boat to be christened. How, they agreed to work together as bounty hunters. And how it never happened.

And there was the trip to her family farm. The long walk. And the feeling of calm and joy he felt in her company. The memory of her family. Of how he worked with her brothers. Of how a few pieces of puzzle that was Amber fell into place then. Of her other side. Obedient girl, listening to her mother. And another chuckle came. Damned girl. Goes of to war all by herself. Fights a demon. And is afraid of her own mother.

Memories of the way he felt when she screamed in the cellars of the Castle von Berseel when the demon came. How his heart sank and how fast his rage rose. How he begged the Gods to take him instead. Of the absence of fear as he rushed down. How he was not important at the moment. Memories of her holding his head as he lay burned by demon's acidic blood. Of calm he felt at seeing her safe. His rage when he found out that she was stuck in Hafne when the Count came back.

He remembered how relieved he felt when he saw her mere burns ago. Even if it was a dream. How he felt unease at her discomfort mere flickers before. How, he needed her to know he cared for her. Of her eyes as she stared at him moments ago. Of how warm inside he felt when she thought about the possible love she felt for him. Memories of how important she was to him.

But, then he felt a sharp pain in his chest. It felt like his heart split in two. She was not the only one. And his eyes fell upon the other girl. Syrawenn. And he realized how little he knew of her. Silly, isn't it. Never met her. Never touched her for real. And I love her. More with each dream I meet her in. More with each little quirk she shows. With each surprise she throws my way. And there was something else that drew him to the girl. Something he still could not place his finger on. And the memories flooded his mind once more. Only this time it was memories of Syrawenn

A green forest. And the way she reacted when he called her a little girl. Her threats and the way she listened. The way her words made no sense at first. And the way how he seemed to understand her more with each sentence she uttered. And, how for the first time he felt hope that his work was not in vain. That someone else cared. That someone else fought.

A new memory came. A dance. His first dance. And his dancing partner. A lady in pink dress. And a Queen. Syrawenn. A surprise at her request for everyone to remove their shoes. Of how pretty she looked in her dress. Well, she did look pretty in that dress. What other reason would I have to look at her, when Rosalie was by my side. Rosalie? Oh, yes. Pretty lady in a pink dress. And for a flicker other images flashed before his eyes. Of a nice conversation. Of calm and peace he felt. And of a need to go and find the petite lady with a strange accent. But, not love. At least not the kind he felt for the pair before him.

And, his mind quickly was flooded with more sights. A memory of a pink dragon. Pink? Of cats and rabbits. And of how fear was absent once more. How even a dragon did not seemed terrible or dangerous compared to the thought of losing her. Memories of a pink armor, pink sword and cat-like Evis. Of the mountain and a lighted path. And how, even though it was funny, deep inside his chest a sense of dread remained. Fear of losing her.

He remembered a battle. Demons. Nausea as he choked on another man's fingers. And again her. Simply coming there like nothing happened. A scouting mission. And once more lack of fear. Only rage when the demon caught her. And lack of remorse and regret. He remembered a portal. And the feeling of dread. How, it played upon his love of Amber. And how he won.

His memories flooded towards the same spot. Desolate plain. And the pain he inflicted upon her. Her rage. Her words. And the blow it dealt him. How everything seemed hollow. Empty. How he ceased caring for anything. And it was all my fault. I hurt her first. But, she came back. And.... She kissed him. And said the right things. Made him realize what he felt. Made him realize why he hurt her in the first place. I loved her. And wanted to help her. Only I hurt her instead. Won't do it again. Ever. She replaced the hopelessness with sorrow. And that sorrow gave birth to new hope. Made him strong once more. Maybe even stronger than before.

He remembered the way he felt when she was taken away. And how his rage was transformed. He did not rush. She knew what would happen. And she warned him. And no matter what she said she was wise. Almost a prophet. And even though she warned me, I was ready to do anything to get her back. And he found her once more. Safe.

And he realized something else. She forced this on him. And although he dreaded that moment, he was grateful. More time would only made the choice harder. And would only torture him more. Thank you, Syra.

And the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. He knew that missing string that pulled them together. She needs me. Needs someone. She is alone and was alone for a long time. And she chose me. He could feel a tear forming in the corner of his eye, but it would not roll down his cheek. Does Amber need me? More than Syra? And should I choose because of that. NO!

For a flicker more he was torn between the two once more, and then his thoughts settled. Syrawenn. My love. One and the only. My challenge. My destiny. I love Amber and will love her still. But, my heart is yours. She will have to settle for friendship. I am yours. If you will have me.

And once more his mind played a sound tricks. He heard the pieces of glass tinkle to the floor and stood for a few flickers before he realized that no time passed as he thought. Slowly his gaze fell upon each girl and finally stopped on Amber. For stared at her as the flickers dragged by and once more stared at her eyes. "I do love you, Amber. More than life itself. And I think I proved it before. But, that is not enough. Please, forgive me." His words were whispered, but were audible to the others as well. And then he drew her into a hug and held for a long time before he let her go and turned to Syra.

And when he spoke, his voice was calm and his face showed nothing. The struggle was over and once more he had a goal in sight. "You. I need to talk to you. You made me think. You made me look into my heart and study it in detail. You made me decide. And it hurts. Yet, I am thankful. A brief and sharp pain now is better than long agony later. And it made me realize some things. You say you like me. I don't like you. I love you. Her I love more than life." He said that turning to Amber. "And you... Well, I can't even begin describing how much I love you. I don't know why or how or when it happened. It just did. I can't help it. I don't wanna help it. Accept it or not, the fact remains the same. I never met you in waking world and yet I feel strongly for you. It scares me. A lot. And I can't help it. It is still there. What happens when we meet? I really don't know. I need you. And I think you need me. Strange, huh?" And he just stood, with a weak smile on his lips, unable to find anything else to say.

[Abner Klop]

So, this gathering was a dream, apparently. That would explain a few things, but then, so many strange things had happened to Abner in the past couple weeks, he was having trouble telling the difference between dream and reality.

Even for a dream, though, this was pretty confusing. Firstly, it wasn't just his dream; the gnome seemed to be sharing it with these other people, and they with him. Secondly, none of the others seemed to be very comfortable with this sharing arrangement: they were bickering and bristling at each other like dyspeptic hedgehogs. Thirdly, the others, or at least Gavin and the one called Syrawenn, seemed to have met in this way before, and that history was creating a great deal of tension within the group.

Abner shook his head. Why do big folk always have to make things so difficult? Feeling that he was neither involved nor especially interested in whatever drama was unfolding among the others, the gnome left the group and started walking "north," at any rate, in the direction the ticking clock-man had indicated. Maybe there will be something interesting up here.

[Amber Kynterle]

Amber was once again surprised by Syrawenn's sudden outburst and change of subject. This girl was definitely unpredictable. Amber could identify with that, as she was known to give people fits over the same thing herself. But at least she didn't seem to constantly get annoyed with people like the younger girl did...

She was even more shocked by what Syrawenn was talking about. She couldn't possible expect...! But there she was, asking him to his face, right in front of them all... to make a decision between them. It was ludicrous! But at the same time, she found that she, too, wanted to know the answer to that question. She hadn't even realized that she felt that way about Gavin until now, when they were together again in this dream. But she realized now that her affection for him had been growing in their days together back in Dort. Was it possible that she had finally found a man she could identify with, get along with... even love? It was possible, and she knew that Gavin liked her, at least in some fashion. She was suddenly so excited she thought she was going to be ill.

And then Gavin made his choice. Syrawenn. Not Amber. Not the girl he actually knew. Not the girl he'd actually seen and touched and been on adventures with. Syrawenn. A girl that was, for all intents and purposes, a dream.

She sat where she was, still, frozen, unable to tear her eyes away from Gavin for a long, long time. She saw the look of sorrow in his eyes, but it barely registered. She... couldn't think... couldn't breathe... couldn't... just couldn't.

"No," she said suddenly, and stood, crossing her arms protectively over her breasts. "No, it's ok. You don't have to ask for my forgiveness. It's fine. I mean, I'm just a farmgirl. Haven't seen the world, haven't really done anything noteworthy, just spent all my time mucking around in fields. Oh, well, hell, I fought a demon once, but that's nothing compared to being able to get into your dreams." There was biterness in her voice, but it wasn't directed at Syrawenn or even Gavin. It was directed at herself. "I understand. I do." She looked back at Gavin finally, and her eyes were dry, although there was a look in them that no human had ever seen before. "You made the right choice. You did. She'll... she'll be great for you, and I know you'll be good for her, too. I'll just... I'll just uh... well... you know..." She shook her head, flushing bright red with embarassment and anger at her own lack of control. "I'll just be over here... out of the way..."

She wandered off to one side, slipping back into the shadows along the wall of the cavern, out of sight.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

He just waited, when Syrawenn tried to burn him away with her glances Gwayne's face turned into the face of the mercy-bringer. He showed no emotion anymore, he patiently listened. Knowing that every word would trigger a new explosion from Syrawenn.

He was tired of fighting, he was tired of Syrawenn he concluded. But the women and the men went on and and on.
He looked down and his bare upper body still showed the warpaint. It also told him more about the situation.

Only Abner, seemed to be smart, moving up north. So he decided to change the situation a little bit. He tried to concentrate on his appearance to force a return of his normal clothing.

Then he walked towards the place where Amber tried to hide in the shadows.

He summoned a soft smile around his lips and said "Lady Amber......please accompany me to the north. As Abner has already done. I would be honoured."

Then he offered a hand....

Although he wondered what would happen, it could be a knife...from front as well from the back...where Syrawenn was.

[Syrawenn]

There.
It was said.
Could not be undone.

Errr....turn back time please....bloody battles of Brie what the flip did I just throw in his face...Wow, talking about screwing up. 'you don't have to react' OF COURSE people will react! What did you EXPECT, you moron?

A scowl on her face the girl awaited the inevitable. She saw the smile vanish, saw Amber's stare, noticed Abner walking away and knew for a certainty that whatever coherency she might have tried to build in this group, was lost forever.

The youngster nodded to herself, folding her arms, fire still ready to leap from her eyes. Time was taking a merry walkabout as somehow nobody said anything, nobody moved but the gnome who seemed to exist out of everyone's frame of reference anyway.

I wonder...if there was nobody around, would time still move? I mean, if there was nobody to move through time, there would be no need for time, right? So, do we move through time or does time move through us? Wow, that's such profound...bullshit.

The big man's eyes turned from Amber to her. Syrawenn lifted her chin, not quite sure what to make of all this. Somehow his eyes were not focussed, seemed to gaze straight through her until he came back to the living and turned back to Amber.

She nodded to herself and started to pack up the parchment and coals. Whatever was going to happen next, the girl doubted they'd have a need for those items right now. Not much use in drawing nonexistant portals to the north or unexplored castles. Whatever happened here, they were still in a weird, sticky situation.

Which I just made a lot stickier. Congratulations, you have just won a one way trip to the Nether! Insert applause here...Poor guy. Sorry, Gavin. Didn't mean to make life hard. Right, back to busine...

Before she finished the thought Gavin's words suddenly targeted her. With a jerk Syrawenn stopped her packing and looked at him.

"You. I need to talk to you." It was a strange echo of her own words so shortly ago. And then the rest of the monologue came out. Words that made sense and somehow confused the netherworld out of her.

"I don't like you."

BOOM.

"I love you."

BOOM.

"Wha....?" Came her extremely intelligent reply as the bag dropped from her hands. "Well, SHIT!" It came out before she realized it, quickly clapping two hands in front of her mouth. Her eyes were just about ready to pop out and her heart was training to break a new record.

helovesmehelovesmehelovesmehelovesmehelovesme

"What the flip...Gavin...strange? STRANGE?"

Accept it or not, the fact remains the same.

That drove it straight home.

Accept it or not.

The fact remains.

The FACT.

And before there was any time to come up with anything more witty, Amber waltzed into a speech of such selfpity and insinuations that Syrawenn felt the strong urge to punch her lights out.

Of course she resisted. It was logical Amber felt ...well, pretty damn much as horrible as anyone could probably ever feel. And yet there was irritation. Irritation at the fact that the young woman was being unfair to the man.

Well, blow it all up and call it mush! The frown returned, but before a choice of interesting reactions left her mouth Syrawenn checked them all before letting go. This was not the time to start another fight. Amber was hurt.

So she shouldn't hurt Gavin in the process!

But still, the woman had a right to feel what she felt.

So she doesn't have to go for the HUGE selfloathing thing! What does she MEAN out of the way! She really thinks it's just over like this? She really thinks....that this is what we're here for? SURPRISE! I don't think we're done!

Amber was hurt. Hurt had a way of making people unreasonable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I KNOW! And she should still....well why didn't she just SAY she was so smitten with the guy! They were together for who knows how long! Bloody netherbats! Why do I feel so stupidly guilty? Wow...he loves me.
Damn.
She's gonna hate my guts.

"Errr...." It was not the brilliant follow up she had in mind. "Okaaay....uh...wow, help. Um...Amber? Yer prolly not gonna want to hear it from me anyway, but...well, if yer gonna be 'out of the way', that's not a good plan. It's not like yer 'in the way' ya know. I mean...Ah shit, people, sorry for the mess. Im way out of my league here. I have no CLUE what to say...or to do..."

She shot a look at Gavin, eyes still set on incredulous surprise. Syrawenn knew dreams to be a part of her life. Dreams were life. And death. But to have someone decide...to be a part of her life when they had just met in dreams...that was unheard of. Undreamed of.

Harhar.

Syrawenn stepped up to Gavin and looked up at the man. "You got guts, mister. Loads of em."

And despite the idiotic situation, the feeling awkward, the pain and irritation, she smiled.

[Gavin Tylvan]

As Amber spoke, the muscles in Gavin's jaw tightened so much he almost felt his own teeth were cracking. For long flickers he merely listened, refusing to look at her. When he finally did his brows were drawn together and he watched her move away towards the wall. Emotions flared within him. A strange mix of emotions. Anger was first and foremost. Anger directed at nobody but Gavin himself. Anger for hurting her with his words. Anger for allowing this to come to pass. My fault. Mine alone. I go around and act so noble and heroic. No wonder she likes me. Well, where was the noble hero just now, Gavin? Where was he? For a flicker he wanted to pull his own dagger out and plunge it into his thigh to match the emotional pain he felt with the physical one.

But, he did not. I hurt her already. I won't play the pity card. Deal with what I did. That is what I must do. Face the pain I caused. And make it better. Make her better. But, anger was not all he felt. He had a deep sense of sadness and hopelessness. Sadness for the way the farm girl felt. For what she was coming through. And it was linked to the anger he felt. One fueling the other. But, the lack of hope was back once more. And it reminded him why he choose Syrawenn. Everything I touch turns to dust. I bring the pain and suffering to those I love. I try to help. I try to make it better. And all I manage is to make it worse. Amber would not have been in the palace when the demon struck had I not invited her. Abner would not be going to war had I not involved him. Syrawenn would not have been hurt in the Nether had I kept my mouth shut. Should I try anymore? Or should I just give up? Of course not. I must go one. She showed me that on the desolate plain. No giving up. Never.

And then there was joy. Strangely it found its way into his mind. Joy for saying what his heart held. Joy for having the courage to face it and to say what he felt. But, it was held back by the rest. He knew it was there and just stood silently waiting for the storm within him to subside. Slowly the anger disipated. And only the sadness remained. Crow's feet formed at the edges of his eyes as the big man clenched his fists tightly, leather of his gloves gently creaking in protest. He heard everything, but refused to move. People spoke and he listened. And did nothing. He was waiting for a decision. What do I do now? How do I make this better? How do I fix this?

And once more the strange girl named Syrawenn came to his rescue. As she came before him and smiled, he knew what he had to do. She showed him the way on the desolate plains. And the big man smiled back. It was a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Guts..... I don't know if that is good or bad. Look what my guts did. And now I have to fix it. Don't know if I can. But, I sure can try." And as he watched her before him, he had a strange urge he followed. He hugged the girl and whispered. "Thank you." And then he let her go and his face was grim once more. "Now, I need to talk to Amber. See if I can explain. I need you. And I need her." And then with a deep sigh he turned towards the shadows where his friend disappeared.

He found Gwayne standing before her and gently place his hand on Adhiel's shoulder. "Gwayne. I need to talk with Amber. Could you give us some time alone. I'll make sure she is all right." And the big man waited until the strange man left before looking at the girl. For a couple of flicker he just stood looking at her and then slid down the wall next to her. And sat there for a while without a word. "I need to say a few things and I would like you to hear them. I don't need an answer. But, I must do this." He waited for a few flickers to see if she would decline and then continued. "I messed up. Royally. And I would love to say I am not proud of what I did, but I can't. I am proud of it. It took a lot to get all that out. And I am glad I did it. What I am not glad is what my words did to you."

He tried to chuckle, but could not. "You are a bad liar, Amber Kynterle. It is not fine. And you are not fine. And believe it or not, I know how you feel right now. Because, I felt pretty much the same once. And she" - he pointed at Syrawenn - "helped me recover. So I am trying to do the same for you. Look, what I said back there is the truth. I won't lie to you. I love you both. Ugh, that sounded so corny. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that no matter how much I wish I made a different choice, that other choice would have been a lie. If I could turn back time and make the choice again, I don't know what I would do. But, I think I would probably make the same choice. I don't know why. I want to know why, but I can't figure it out. It just came out that way. I hoped you would understand. The thing is, how can you understand something I did if even I don't understand it." His mind was a confusing jumble and he knew his words made little sense. But, all the things he needed to say were there, and if he kept talking they would come out.

He was afraid he might forget something, but the words just kept coming. "You and me don't know each other for long, but you know me well enough to realize some things. When Syrawenn gave me the chance to make a choice, I could have refused to do it. Or rather, there was the opportunity to do that. I don't back out. You know that. So I could not just let it pass. Damned honor and my thick skull. When I started seeking for an answer, I did not know whom I would choose. But, if truth is to be told, I never thought of you in that way till now. A beautiful woman by my side and I just took her for granted. I am a fool. No wonder I messed up so badly just now."

Then he reached a decision. She must fight on. I won't let her give up. Even if it means she will hate me. But, she may understand one day why I am doing this. "You are not just a farm girl, Amber. You are... You were my friend. I don't know if you will be after this. You did fight a demon. You did stay in the Castle in Hafne. You are a wonderful person. And don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve the best. As for dreams and getting into them.... I don't know what to say. But, you are making a mistake. You are not meant to just be out of the way. I don't want you to be out of the way." As he spoke Gavin, sat up and turned towards her, looking at her face. His heart skipped as he knew that his next words could drive the girl away as easily as they could bring her back.

Slowly he was coming to the core of the problem. "I need you, Amber. But more than that, I need you to be happy. Or rather, not to be sad. You are broken now. Please, don't be broken. I don't want to be responsible for that. I would do anything you ask to make you feel better. Anything, but give up Syra. That is something I won't do even for you. All, I ask in return is for you not to give up. Hit me, stab me, kiss me, yell at me or hug me, but do something. Cry, yell, smile, laugh, but don't just sit there. Forgive me or hate me forever, but don't be like this. Please." And with reluctant hand he once again took her chin and turned her eyes to look at him. And waited for her decision. Whatever it might be. Both joy and dread mixed in his mind. Please, wake up. Do something. Whatever it is. I will be fine whatever you choose. But, don't just sit there. WAKE UP.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

The hand on the shoulder interrupted Gwayne while talking to Amber and before she could answer.

He realised that it was important. So he just smiled a bit sad and responded with a "I wait overthere...." a quick understanding nod towards Gavin and he walked away.

He sighed while walking. Dubbing over the things that made life so difficult, this was one of them it seems.

[Amber Kynterle]

When Gavin came over to sit down next to her, Amber didn't even seem to notice his presence. If she did, she showed no sign of it. She just sat there, eyes distant as if she was thinking about something else. She was thinking, but not really about any one thing. She was thinking how she should have just stayed on the farm, done her work like a good girl, let herself get married off to some person she didn't even know, and gone about her life as she was supposed to. At least then it wouldn't have hurt.

But no, instead of being a good girl, she had to be the mischeivous, adventurous sort, had to go wandering off to town, just HAD to go see the party down by the docks. Just couldn't say no when the opportunity to see and do more than she ever had before came up... when the opportunity to BE more than she had ever though she could be came up. And now, after all of this... she found she really wasn't any different. She was still naive, still sticking her neck out in precarious situations, still just the redhead that was tagging along. The "beautiful woman" taken for granted.

That was unfair, she thought to herself, those types of thoughts. Unfair to Gavin, especially. She couldn't have expected him to take notice of her. It wasn't like she was anything special anyway. She didn't have any powers, wasn't overly smart, and she had a temper too. No, she didn't blame Gavin. Or Syrawenn. She did think she could come to like the girl, although she was sort of wishing she would just cease to exist at the moment. No, it wasn't anyone's fault. Fate had made another move in her great game, and Amber Kynterle had been handed the short end of the stick.

Her fingertips brushed the eclipsed moon pendant that hung around her neck, the sigil of Ithrainne and Krynsathis, the goddess and god of fate, the ones that had always seemed to look out for her before. Thanks, she thought rather bitterly. But it wasn't their fault either.

When all of this was done, when she woke up, she'd get herself out of the Keep in Hafne as soon as possible, and then she'd....

Her thoughts were interrupted as warm fingers took hold of her chin and made her turn her head. For a long moment, her eyes remained blank, emotionless - vacant - as Gavin looked at her. But then, a bit of life stirred in them, only for a moment, only as she spoke. "Don't ever think like that about me, Gavin," she whispered, her voice hurt. "I would never ask you to give her up. Ever. I'm not like that. I had my chance. You made your choice. I have to deal with that. But I'm not some jealous child that will kick and cry and scream over something I can't control. And I won't take my emotions out on you either. I'm not like that. Whatever I may be... I'm not like that..."

The brief fire that had burned in her eyes faded again, and she slipped away from his touch. She was silent for a moment, then stood and started toward Gwayne. "Come on," she said quietly. "Let's go see if we can find anything of interest. I think Gavin and Syrawenn need to talk anyway." There was no biterness in her voice, no anger. Nor self-pity. There was nothing. Just as there was nothing in her eyes...

[Gavin Tylvan]

OOC: Breaking the posting order a bit. But, once we wrap this up we can go on. And I have a feeling everyone is waiting for me to do something.

Looking at her face, Gavin felt his hopes shattering. Nothing seemed to be coming through to her. Nothing he said. Nothing he felt. Yet, he kept talking. He had to talk. Had to try and get her back. Get her to fight. Did I look like that on the plains of Nether? Is she feeling like I felt then? Empty inside, with nothing else to do, but sit and wait for death to claim her? What am I to do to light the fire in her once more? And what am I ready to risk to light it? How far am I ready to go? How much am I willing to sacrifice? But, those questions remained unanswered.

And then she spoke and a smile started to form on his lips, but her words froze his muscles. His lower lip trembled as she moved away from his touch and rose and walked away. He knew he lost that battle. He knew she thought it was over. It is not done yet. Whatever you may feel and say. How little you know of me, Amber? And how little I know of you? And no matter what choice I made, I still want you to be close by my side. I want to meet the real you. But, more than all that I want you to fight. And to keep on fighting no matter what. I will make you fight. Even if it means I lose you. And the big man turned and sat in the spot she filled a flicker before.

"And thus I lose a friend for love." He whispered those words, just loud enough for her to hear them. Loud enough for them to carry to the other side of the room, so all could hear them. A risky move, Gavin. So many bad ways this could end. And, only a few positive ones. And no way to win. Only make sure you don't lose too bad. Will I do this. Of course. For you. For Amber. "Maybe she was right. The Demon Queen. Lieutenant of Destruction. Bringer of pain. Destroyer of Souls. A heartless monster. Seems to me she got that right. No matter what I do, people get hurt. Abner at the boat and in the Castle. Hunder and Cheerio in the fields of Dort. The Black Knight in the dark tower. Rosalie at the Ball. Syrawenn in the Nether. And now Amber. No matter what I do, someone gets hurt. Luckily nobody died yet. But, is it luck? Or cruel game of fate? Death means the end of suffering. This way there is no end yet."

For a few flickers he remained silent and hummed a barely audible tune. And then his voice rose again. "I wonder why I keep going if all I ever do ends in ruin? I tried giving up once. And I remember what brought me back. And I remember the words I uttered. Loneliness. Overwhelming loneliness. Sense of utter hopelessness. One can go alone for only so long. One needs a friend. But, if my fight means my friends are getting hurt, do I really want to drag them along? Do I need a friend? Do I want to win?" And once more he fell silent. Even, he was surprised by the words that came out. For the first time in a long time, he was letting his thoughts out. Letting the others see.

"Such a pretty little fish I am. Must be fun watching me struggle out of the water. And each time I jump someone gets hurt." A short and harsh laugh came out of his throat, sounding almost like he was choking. "Well, screw you, whoever you are. Not giving up yet. Or rather not giving up ever. Till death do us part." And, now for the killing blow. "Unlike others I know. Unlike others I thought I knew. The ones who made this fight worth fighting. The ones who gave me hope. Made me feel I was not alone. One less fighter. One more victim. And the fight has only begun. How many more will perish. Perish without a real fight." He knew what he was doing. He knew this could go wrong easily. But, it could also end well. Let us see that famous temper of yours. Let us see that pride once more. Show me you are not just a pretty, dumb, red headed farm girl.

And once more he wished he had made a different choice. Knowing full well that he would choose the same even now. Wished he did not have to make a choice at all. Guts. I got guts she said. Well, look what guts gave me. And, yet I am glad I did it. A piece fell into place then. What that piece does? I don't know. But, it feels good so far. And that makes this other feeling so hard to get by. And for a while he remained silent. Letting his words sink in. And when he spoke again, his voice was lower. Those who wanted to hear would have to strain to hear it. Those who wished to ignore him could do so. "There was a farm girl once. Yet, when I met her she was a farm girl no more. She was a fighter. A survivor. A fiery demon with a temper to match that name. And with her by my side, I feared nothing. And for her I was willing to do anything. For her I fought a demon. For her I went to war. For her I would kill and torture. I would do it even now. But, the demoness went away. Went thinking she would return. And while she was gone, another girl came. A strange little girl. And she had a temper too. And at first her words made little sense. Her words were strange as she was. Confused and unrelated. But, one only has to listen. To listen and think. And then her words make sense. They bring wisdom. Wisdom beyond her height. Wisdom beyond her age. Wisdom beyond anyone's age. And with her by my side I feared nothing. I faced a dragon. I faced a demon. I faced HER. The first girl was what made me better. She was what I was not. And yet I trusted her. She made me whole. She was my missing hand. The other girl.... The other girl was my other half. She made me alive. She made me stronger. She was my heart."

His eyes seemed distant as he spoke. For as the words came out, he began to realize how he made a choice. Why he made the choice. And why he regretted it. " Must I sever my hand to keep my heart beating? Or do I cut my heart out to keep my hand?" And once more he paused, seeking if he knew the answer. Apparently I must. Or maybe, just maybe there is still hope. Don't do this Amber. Don't just walk away. "And if I do this, what happens to them? I know my heart would still beat. I know her that well. But, what about my hand? I thought I knew her, but now I am not sure. She managed to surprise me. She gave up. Did what I never would have thought she would do. And she lied to me. Told me she was fine. I know she is not fine, but unless she lets me, I can not help her. I want to help her, but she needs to tell me how? Will she? Or will she just walk away?"

And as he spoke those words the Dortman rose and walked to his heart. And standing next to Syra he looked her in the eyes and smiled. And in silence his finger went to his chest and he pointed at a spot where his heart was. "You." His lips formed that word, although no sound issued forth. And he stood next to her and awaited what his hand would do. He waited and dreaded. But, whatever she did, he knew this was his final move. Now, it was up to her. No more, Amber. I will do no more. Not even for you. You, and you alone, must decide. I have told you what I feel. I have told you what I know. It is up to you. Make the choice and live with it. I won't beg any more. And I will not force you to choose. Do it now, or take your time. But, I will go on. No matter what you choose. And I am still coming to get you to safety. But, you will decide the reason I do it for. Love. Or sense of duty.

[Syrawenn]

Syrawenn stayed silent for a remarkable long period of time. There was too much to take in to actually respond. Remarks were flying to and fro, some perfectly reasonable and others obviously aimed at gaining certain results. Amber was being....scaringly reasonable for a while. It looked like she used the same tricks Syra knew so well: pushing it away until there was a better time to deal with it. She had a fair idea what the big guy was doing, though. He'd tried it with her in the Nether...and boy, had that turned out weird.

She flushed, remembering her bold move when Gavin's words had backfired on himself. Only right now he was suddenly saying things she could not agree to. Did he actually believe all he did was hurt people? Did he have a CLUE how good he was to others and what REALLY hurting people around meant?

The flush took on a slightly different hue of red as the girl was getting worked up. Right before her eyes Gavin was using sentences and words she knew so well, remarks that cut straight to her heart as she recognized parts. Even though the cause might be different, this was what she had seen in the Nether, the being alone and the recognition it sparked in her own being.

Does it pay off to have friends if all you do is hurt them? Does it pay to see them dead?

It was a question she had asked herself ever since she left home. It was a question that kept coming up every time she met people along the way and one that was put to rest again when she had chased them off...which was better than seeing them dead.

And right when she was about to kick the crap out of Gavin for thinking he was actually hurting people -netherbats, he hadn't hurt her!- he turned around and twisted the conversation to his own end again. It left the youngster with a raised eyebrow.

That was...neat....damn. Wish I could pull that off. But...it sounded too real. I gotta make sure he doesn't think...I wasn't hurt, damnit! Okay, maybe I was but not really real! It was just pissed off! Pissed off is okay! It's good! It always works! He can't really have been afraid that he...well yes, he was, which was why things turned out the way they did. Hey, wow...never had that before. Things turning out okayish because I screw up. That's pretty neat, actually.

Pret-ty neat.

She was getting dizzy through the quick shift in emotions. Blinking her eyes Syrawenn could only listen to the next installment of Gavin's campaign. The follow up of words and sentences was peculiar, especially when he mentioned facing her as something scary.

Okay, so I can be scary. I scare people off, remember? It's my job...I'm his WHAT? Annnnd he's walking towards me...whoa...focus. Keep yer mind on things.

...Which was pretty hard considering how badly the girl wanted to be somewhere else. It was not a good feeling to be involved in a 'center of attention' thing. It was a great feeling being in the center of Gavin's attention..up to a certain point. Had they been alone, it would be marvellous! But with those others around, the girl felt caught, busted on actually being human...which again made no sense at all.

Except that it did.

He had gotten through the strong wall of anger and resentment by smashing the entrance. The question was: was he able to deal with the debris? Was she?

"You." His lips formed that word while his fingers pointed to his chest. She grabbed those fingers and held them in a strong grasp, looking at him with determination. "You..." She said in a low voice, hoping not to interrupt whatever Amber might say. "Ya got another one coming if you think you are hurting everyone around. Only thing I've seen you do is give a good wallop to get people's attention. Which is good. Hurt ain't killing. Hurt ain't dying. Hurt ain't final. Other stuff mostly depends on other people's decisions too...if you think you're the only one who makes stuff happen in the world, yer the biggest conceited melon I've ever seen!"

And somehow, suddenly she felt like biting his hand, as if that would solve the growing fear and rage inside. This was not the place to see her own issues reflected in Gavin's choice of words. This was about solving a possibly huge problem between two hugely close friends.
Biting was just the better of several options right now.
Which was ridiculous.
But she did it anyway.
And it felt good.

Is it possible to feel guilty over feeling good?

[Abner Klop]

Abner had continued walking "north" during the foregoing, but didn't seem to be getting much of anywhere. Meanwhile, the fireworks between Gavin, Syrawenn and Amber seemed to finally be dying down. The gnome stopped and looked back. Things were certainly quieter, but still seemed somewhat unresolved. He noticed that Gwayne had withdrawn himself from the other three. Deciding that Gavin needed a bit more time to settle his personal business, the dreaming scientist approached the other man and extended his hand. "A lot of fuss, eh?" he offerred, gesturing at the others. "Has anyone figured out what we are supposed to be doing here?"

[Amber Kynterle]

Amber's mind was strangely silent within her own head as she walked away from Gavin and went to join Gwayne. Somewhere deep inside, she knew what she was doing. She was pushing her feelings away, pushing away the despair and the anger and the loneliness to deal with it another time. She couldn't deal with it now, not with the others watching. Not with the pain so near. She knew that later, once she'd had a bit of time and distance, it would all come flooding out. She'd be paralyzed with the emotions of all of this for a little while, but she couldn't afford to let the others see her like that. They would think she was weak, think she was still just a naive farmer's daughter that had wandered away from home. Weak.

And then Gavin's words reached her ears. He wasn't talking to her, but he was talking about her, there was no doubt of that. And the words he said cut her deeply. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she paused, and closed her eyes. So that is what he really thinks of me, a small voice whispered in her mind.

And then his words cut even deeper. So deep it made her angry. So deep that it made her fiery spirit draw a breath. So deep that a bit of the demoness woke up. He thought she was a victim!? One less fighter?! He thought she was just going to walk away and leave it all behind, go off home without ever trying her best. In that moment, two things happened. First, she was forced to admit to herself that she had been about to do just that. And second, the thought of that made her lose her temper.

She whirled as her eyes snapped open, and before she could even begin to think about stopping herself, she closed the distance between her and Gavin. She vaguely saw that Syrawenn was also with him, but she was experiencing tunnel vision at the moment, and saw nothing but Gavin. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him to face her, then hauled off and slapped him across the face so hard that it made her entire arm hurt. At the same time, she howled... just howled. In anger, in sadness, in rage at herself, and in more than a bit of physical pain as her smaller hand smacked into him.

She grabbed him by his tunic with both hands, taking him in a deathgrip. She had to go up on her tiptoes to reach it, and she still wasn't eye to eye with him, but she was close enough. "How dare you?" she whispered angrily. "How dare you!" Her voice rose and she started to scream, her voice high and strained with emotion to the breaking point. "I am NOT a victim! I will not just lay down and give up! I AM a fighter! I have always been a fighter! I'm not... I'm not going to give up!"

And just as quickly, her rage flared and went out, and in its place was a tired, hurt young girl that was ready to admit she needed help. Needed someone to explain to her what had just happened, to tell her that somehow, she would recover from this, and she would be able to go on living again. She let go of his tunic and pressed herself against him, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. "I'm not all right," her muffled voice came as she cried. "I'm not fine. And I don't know what to do. I... I don't know how to let go. I don't... I don't know if I can let go..."

And for the first time in a long time, Amber Kynterle, the girl that had grown up learning how to play tough and live tougher, set everything else aside, and just cried.

[Gavin Tylvan]

Gavin smiled as Syra spoke. He knew she was right. And yet, somewhere deep within a part of him doubted. What if it is not so? What if I am right? People get hurt. And there are many ways to hurt people. Emotional pain is as bad as physical. And I am very good at the emotional. I did it in the Nether. I am doing it now. Turning Amber's pain into rage. Making her use the pain to move on, instead of it breaking her. But, her words needed a reply. "Ha, conceited melon, you say. I know I am just one of the many. And I never said I was the only one. You hel...." And then she surprised him utterly. He teeth sunk into his hand and he jerked it back. "Aaaaaaaaaaah. Why did...."

He did not get to finish his question as Amber came stomping to him. As he jerked his hand out of Syra's bite, she just added a momentum to his body and spun him to face her. And then her hand spun him back. His vision dimmed from the blow and he squeezed his eyes shut trying to clear the dizziness out. He felt a taste of blood from the crack in his lower lip. He stumbled a step and then felt a pair of hand on his tunic. The howl registered on his mind just then, with a slight delay. Whaaaa.... Amber? Oh, yea. Forgot about that. I was trying to make her angry. Damn, that girl packs a punch. Hehe. I guess I asked for it.

Black motes danced before his eyes as he tried to focus on her words. For a flicker or two he just stared in loss and blinked. And then her words started to make sense. A warm feeling started in his stomach and spread outward like a wave. It worked. It worked. She is fighting. Damn, my jaw hurts. And, heck it was worth it. He felt like grinning, and the grin was slowly forming on his lips as she drew him close. And once more his arms closed around her and he leaned his cheek on her hair. For a few flickers he remained silent, letting her emotions settle a bit.

"There, there. I knew you were a fighter. Only you hid it. Now Amber I know is back. Sorry about that. It's just I did not know what to do. You.... You... You seemed broken. I know broken. I was broken once. And a friend fixed me. So, I tried to fix you. I think I managed. And you hit me. So it worked. You hit me. That, means you are not broken. Means you are still fighting. This time it was me. Next time it will be the enemy. Keep on fighting. For me. Please." He held her close, not willing to let go. Not yet. Not till he was done.

"And you will be all right. Maybe not be right away, but with time I know you will be better. Cause now you are fighting. If you don't fight, you can't get better. I can help you, but not if you don't try yourself. We got to work together. Or it is no use. People need friends. Even if those friends get hurt or if they hurt you back." At this point Gavin shot a glance at Syra and then shifted his gaze to his bleeding hand. "No one should have to go through life alone. I know I can't. I need you, Amber. I told you so. And I need Syra. And Abner, too. People I can trust. People I love. People for whom I would risk anything. So do you."

He placed his hands on her shoulder and pushed her away so he could look into her eyes. "You are not alone. And you don't have to let go. I am not going anywhere. And if I am not around, know that I will be back. Heck, I am going to a bloody war to get to you. Not many people I would do that for." He paused and smiled. Not many people at all. All three of them. And they are all in this room. And once more his arms closed around her. She is back. She is hurt, but she is back. And she is stronger now. "I am sorry for all the pain I caused you. But, all I did had a purpose. And all I said was true. You gave up. And I could not stand it. So I made you fight. You slugged me. I deserved that. Hit me again if you feel like it. Bite me." And once more his gaze went to the other girl. "Kick me. Scream at me. Just don't give up. That is all I ask. You are not a simple farm girl. You are my friend. You are a fighter. You are a hero."

[Syrawenn]

The surprised yell was so worth it. The girl had no idea why, but just sinking her canines into the man's hand felt good enough to drain much of the pent up energy. Of course she never meant to draw blood, but as Gavin withdrew suddenly, her sharp teeth nicked him anyway, leaving a strange sweetness in her mouth.

Surprise mingled with an unexplored feeling of happiness, reflecting in her grey-green eyes. It was so bad to be feeling good when someone else was feeling rotten and it was even worse to be feeling so much better while the situation was far from solved!

And it's worst when I start confusing myself like that...

WHACK!

Syrawenn winced as Amber's hand impacted with Gavin's jaw. "WAY to go!" She cheered out of habit, immediately clapping her hands in front of her mouth. "Sorry." She mumbled, quickly getting out of the way as Amber finally outed whatever Gavin had been after.

And out it poured. Luckily the big man seemed to be able to take it, because something told the girl she was STILL not the best person to try and comfort the beautiful redhead. There was hugging and screaming, howling and more hugging. On and on they went until finally Gavin managed one little sentence that made her catch her breath:

"You are a hero."

Ooooh nice....NICE! DAMN, that's nice...if I didn't know any better I'd go sit in a corner and despair right now. What the FLIP did I do to get that guy to like me? Lessee...I was nasty, bugged him a lot, bugged him more...interesting. I guess he likes to torture himself.

She shook her head.

ANYway...let's remember this scene, shall we? This is the second time he tries to pull this stunt. Second time. Let's make sure you don't make it an even three. Let's make damn sure that he does not have to be the strong guy all the time. Let's for once just be there for him, eh? Yeah. Let's do that. No breaking down, no falling apart. He deserves better than having to catch everyone around him...he SURE knows how to pick his company!

More confusion.

Syrawenn decided just to wait for whatever Amber was ready for right now. A quick look around told her the other guys were still here, despite more to the north...which was good. They were still here for a reason.
Another reason.

[Amber Kynterle]

Despite the tumult of emotions that were rocking her, a small part of Amber's mind was coherent enough to wonder how Gavin would react to her assault upon him. If she'd been the recipient of the slap, she would have slapped back. And probably more besides. But instead, Gavin... hugged her. She felt his strong, warm arms encircling her, and she melted into his embrace finding comfort.

She listened to his words, even as she tried to stop crying. It was hard, but she at least managed to get it under control. She didn't really know what to think, let alone do. She had hauled off and slapped him, and here he was encouraging her, trying to convince her to stay with him. It was too much, and she started crying again, though this time it was from relief. And gratefulness. He still cared for her, as a friend, a good friend, and for now, that would be enough.

She looked up at him, wiping tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I... I didn't mean to hit you. I... I just... I don't want to give up. I don't want to go home. I want to find you... and... and Syrawenn, and... keep fighting." She smiled a bit, though it was a sad smile. "You said you needed me. The... the truth is, I need you too... more than you know. Thank you for not letting me give up. And... and don't ever let me give up. Please. Not ever."

She leaned into him again, for one last hug, and realized it could be the last hug she got from anyone for a long, long time. Then she kneed him, though not as hard as she could have. "And that's for making me mad," she said, with a sweet grin that was far too innocent to really be sweet.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwayne kept silent and waited, just watching the drama unfold around him. In the past time he had learned something about women. But this was totally new to him. He felt a bit like the wall's....being there but not there. He watched Abner and shook his shoulders when he asked him about the reason for being here.

It looked more like that they where here so some people could solve there problems which each other. So he just kept silent and waited.
After a few burns he concluded that Gavin was lucky and cursed at the same time, to be loved by two fierce and beautiful women like that. He felt a little bit jealous, but also relieved and lost.

Sighing softly Gwayne moved a bit further into the shadows.

He watched Syrawenn for a flicker, and it hurt a bit, but not as much as first, maybe his loneliness had played tricks at him. Now he just felt lonely again, and he was used to that. Well that was not true, but if Gwayne would repeat it enough, it would become true, that he was used to it.

So he watched the women and Gavin trying to read their faces....until silence was there once again. Although not for long he guessed. This war was far from over. Maybe he and Abner should just move on...it would spare him a lot of torturing feelings. But that would not solve everything concluded. So a desperate attempt to get the situation rolling would be in place.

"Maybe we should move on.....people will die if we hesitate enough..." he said softly but loud enough to be heart.

[Gavin Tylvan]

Her tears hurt him as well, but he knew they were a good sign. They were taking away the pain. Or at least the worst part of the pain. Some of it will remain. And that was hurt him the most. He knew he caused it, and no reason he could state was an excuse. No logic would ever enable him to forget it. And, besides, he did not want to forget it. He wanted to remember so he would not do it again. He said nothing as she spoke, just looking at her and letting her finish. And he mirrored her smile.

Then came that last hug and another surprise. He was grateful she did not hit hard and the armor absorbed a part of the blow, but he still doubled over slightly. "Ooooooooof." Tears welled in his eyes, but he managed a painful grin. Placing his hands on the knees he managed to stand upright and for a flicker stared into the ceiling. "Ooooookay. I guess I earned that." His gaze came back and he looked at her grinning. "I wonder where a farm girl like you learned to do that? Oh, yeah. Your brothers. Oh boy." And once more he doubled over when a new wave of pain struck his groin.

He experienced that only once before when he was a kid and this was not so painful, but still it hurt. A lot. He waited for a flicker to let the pain pass and stood up once more. "Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" A pained laugh issued from his throat as each shudder sent a new lance of pain. "I guess you do, judging from that grin of yours. I must be mad to hang out with you two. She bites and kicks, you slap and kick. You two make a fine pair. Don't you think so too, Syra?" And he turned towards the other girl.

"Oh, don't think for an instant that I did not hear that cheering you gave when she slugged me. Nice going, missy. I must be mad, but that makes one more reason why I love ya. That and the bite and everything else. Just... Just, don't do it too often." And then a thought struck his mind that made him chuckle. He turned to Amber and looked at her with a genuine surprise in his eyes. "Did you..." He inclined his head a bit. "Did you just say you want to meet me an... an Syrawenn. Oh, dear Gods, what have I done? Pairing you two together. Demons and people with swords, them I can handle. But... You two. Oh, boy, am I in for a world of pain. And I would not trade it for anything. Damn, I am strange."

His mood improved tenfold and he turned to the other two men in the room and yelled. "All right. If anybody else in this room feels the need to punch me, kick me or bite me, now's your time. I've been softened up." He was not really offering, but felt so giddy it felt appropriate. And then once more he turned to the girls and grinned. "And, you... You are nasty. Twice I have been lulled in by your words and then been bitten and kneed to the groin." With a deep sigh, he tried to calm down a bit and then spoke in a calmer voice. "Alight. Now I think we can focus on the less important stuff like saving the world from demons and stuff. Shall we join those two and see if we can find a way to pass that northern wall?"

Joy flooded the big man and he could not help but smile. For the first time in days he felt like he was actually going somewhere. For the first time he actually felt like he could win this one through. And, although he paid for it with pain, he was happy. Pain passes and wounds heal. Friends are what matters. And I managed not to hurt my friends too much. Life is good. And painful. Yeah, very painful, when these two are around. And so he waited for the girls to get ready to join Abner and Gwayne and see if they can find this mystery host of theirs and see what she wants with them.