What you fear is what you are....[Chyril 23 Closed]

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Dreams especially Aether dreams are always reflections of those who dream them. This dream was no different except that it was a nightmare created form the inner spirit of the young adhiel called Gwayne son of Ferlong, mercy bringer of the Goddess. Mercy.... a cynical way of telling someone that they would die... according to some. Gwayne was not a young man in peace with himself, maybe he would never be... this was what he dreamed.

Turned out to be closed after a while

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwayne watched the sky filled with stars the full moon and all the signs of winter. He was seated on a large rock in the middle of the snow covered hills of Dort. Cold, hunger and loneliness fought to gain his attention but he ignored them all. Shifting his eyes l to be able to view the lights at the feet of the hills, lights belonging to the village. This was the great winter, the winter of death.

A tear pored down his face, frozen before it reached his chin. It was not fair, children should not die of hunger, war should not be fought while people where struggling to stay alive. The Goddess showed her cruel side this year, and other Gods seemed to join in in their demand for innocent souls being called to where ever they went after death.

A second tear tried to escape in frozen futility while Gwayne took out the sacred knife. The blade was sharp as always not hindered by emotions or justice it would kill anybody the holder of it would point it too. Gwayne hated the knife, it was not healing or solving anything, it just ended it.

He was waiting on the top of the hill fighting against the pains that the knife could not take away until someone would call for him.... mercy...

Maybe he would freeze to death here while waiting... it was then when a fire started to burn near his feet just providing enough warmth to keep him alive...

No he had to wait...

[Eivlys]

Curiosity is a wonderful for humans, it drives them to do more, to seek out more, to discover the world, and eventually themselves. This is not a trait that is good for a swanmaid, but one they are cursed with none the less. It was this curiosity that has Eivlys standing at her window, looking out into the night. The fire just started up on the hill and she thought she could make a person out. What would a person be doing out in the cold on a night like this? It was a good question for a human to discover the answer to, but deadly for a swanmaid.

She had to have an answer, despite the danger. She pulled on her cloak of feathers and slipped on her old boots, they did well to keep out the cold on short trips, like to the market or the temple, but they tended to get rather cold if she was out for too long in them. She stepped out from the little house, and the cool of the night snapped around her like a steel hand, making her breath show up and her nose feel a bit out of sorts.

She started up the hill; she was light so the crust of the snow kept her above it. It crunched a little and crackled as she made her way to the man on the hill. The fight illuminated a dagger as she got closer, and for a moment she thought she should go back or at least brought her own weapon. She was not used to carrying anything that could hurt another, it seemed like a wise idea, but then could she really hurt another person. She did not think she bring herself to do it.

She made her steps more careful as she approached him. “Is everything alright, sir?” She asked, looking at the weapon in his hand. It was an awful looking thing, and it felt even worse just looking at it.

He was crying, and this affected her even more. “Why do you cry?” She asked, the wind picking up and slicing through her with bitter cold, her cloak blowing like a flag behind her, and her long white hair twisting about around her head.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

The waiting was was over, someone came up the hill to call for his services. More tears followed the path and he just hoped that it was not a other child... His worsted fears seemed to come true when he saw that it was a woman, a woman dressed in a cloak of feathers, a cloak just like Aetya.

The young Adhiel rose to his feet, he had never feared the dead and if Aetya had return would be glad to welcome her. He just remembered the flames of her funeral fire and even better he remembered a other place, a small lake... and a woman bathing...

Gwayne could not but wonder why the woman was not crushing through the thick layer of snow when she came closer, close enough to see the differences this was not Aetya. The full moon reflected clearly from the woman, her cloak made out of feathers was white like the surroundings but it was her hair and the reflexion of her eyes that made the Adhiel step back and almost stumble over the rock he was sitting on. It made him drop the cloak and revealed the symbols on his body matching those on his face...

Gwayne made a quick silent prayer to the Goddess that this woman would not come for someone to die, or to die herself. Fear surrounded his heart while he watched the silver eyes come closer.

“Is everything alright, sir?” the clearly feminine voice sliced through the ice filled night and through Gwaye's soul with relieve, she was not here to ask for death, the young adhiel was sure of that, but he could not bring himself to answer.

“Why do you cry?” she asked then...

This time Gwayne was able to whisper a answer "For all those who should have lived and are now dead...for all the children without food. For the people who live in fear. For those I have killed, for those I have seen being killed and for those who shall die soon."

A shiver went through his body and it had nothing to do with the cold. He watched his hands and it seemed that they and the knife where covered in blood...

"The Goddess wills" he whispered while watching the blood drops staining the white snow. "The Goddess wills.... She smiles, she frowns and the mortals dance the dance of life until the Goddess calls them back to her breast."

Lost in his misery for a flicker Gwayne looked up again to Eivlys. Silver eyes reflecting the Goddess inn the clear light of the full moon.

"Its too cold here, you should go inside where its warm..." he whispered to her.

[Eivlys]

Seeing his pain was worse then seeing his knife. What a horrible thing to witness, to be part of. She had seen it too, people killed, the breath of life taken from them. “Do you suppose yourself so wise as to know the minds of the gods? Are you so powerful you can stay off death when his price is to be paid?” She would die someday, this was the curse she accepted to protect Aetya. “I am sorry you had to see so much, to be part of so much.”

She stepped closer, the dagger could kill her now, and he could kill her. His mind was warped from all his sorrow, from his pain. Was he here at the mercy of the gods? “I will return, but not without you. Come back to my house, I have warm bread and soup.” She held out her hand, reaching up to touch his face, to wipe away his tears.

“The cold is not so bad, but it is not good for either of us to be out in it too long.” She gave him a warm smile, looking at his little fire. “The goddess would have us weep for those who have died, but she would not wish us to lose the one thing that should never die, this is hope.” She told him in a soft voice.

She tried to look reassuring. “Do not let the despair crush you. Do not let it crush hope.” She felt the idea resonate in her, there could be a song in that. She started to hum softly, just the thought of it made her feel a song.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Eivlys spoke to him again, “Do you suppose yourself so wise as to know the minds of the gods? Are you so powerful you can stay off death when his price is to be paid?” She would die someday, this was the curse she accepted to protect Aetya. “I am sorry you had to see so much, to be part of so much.”

The woman came even closer, Gwayne could feel her breath touch his skin, like smoke surrounding him in the night. Her words carried a even warmer touch with them. “I will return, but not without you. Come back to my house, I have warm bread and soup.” She held out her hand, reaching up to touch his face, to wipe away his tears.

Gwayne wanted to speak but found himself unable to. Her touch burned his skin and made him wonder if the Goddess had send someone to tease him or save him. He did not know. He was almost lost in the touch, nobody beside his foster parents had ever touched him. After all he was not of their race and even for a adhiel he was strange with all the tattoo's on his body.

Her words just went on. "The cold is not so bad, but it is not good for either of us to be out in it too long.” She gave him a warm smile, looking at his little fire. “The goddess would have us weep for those who have died, but she would not wish us to lose the one thing that should never die, this is hope.” She told him in a soft voice.

Her soft voice ended with “Do not let the despair crush you. Do not let it crush hope.”

It triggered something inside Gwayne, the pain, the desperate longing to belong somewhere. To be someone who heals in stead of ender of life.

He smiled while the blood dripped of his hands and the weapon. "You don't know what I am lady."

He chuckled and with a singing voice he said...

I am the bringer of mercy, the knife that ends all
For those who ask to be released
Or those with the Goddess call
One stab, one slash until hearts beating ceased

I remember every one
Eyes, face, voice and all
For me it shall never be gone
Until for the Goddess I also fall

They are part of me
Every one a scar on my soul
Because of what they maybe could be
If I could restore them and make them whole

"I am a murderer because I can not heal...I am a mercy bringer of the Goddess."

A few tears followed...

[Eivlys]

She stopped humming when he started singing. She listened and was entranced. She did not get to hear many normal people sing. She always heard bards and actors and singers sing, but when he sang his soul rang out in it. It was his soul that pulled at her, forced her to listen, as if he gripped by the neck with his own hands. She felt his pain, and could for a brief moment realize how real and dreadful his remorse was.

When he stopped, it was as if he wished to confess and be punished, as if he should be whipped or branded. “You are no murderer.” She said softly. “A man who kills and sees no pain in it for himself is a murderer. If the life is great or small, a man who can take life without a feeling of regret is the despised creature. If he kills a dog, or a child, or a man, and feels nothing, this one is the murderer.”

She cupped his cheek with her hands and lifted his eyes to look in hers. Or more directed, he was a powerful man, tall and strong. “You know remorse better then any man I know, and this has saved you. You are not one who can simply kill, but you feel and pain and suffer.” She wanted to kiss his cheek, to embrace him and help him stop hurting. She brushed his tears with her thumb.

“Put away your dagger for the night, come to my house, and receive my hospitality. Know you are not a beast.” She felt a bit of herself twist inside as she said that. She was part beast, sometimes she had to remind herself she had a human side. “Please.” She reached to take his free hand.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

While he waited for a reaction he never got the reaction he expected she spoke to him with a tone that was not laced with fear and disgust. It brought a shock through the adhiels body.

“You are no murderer.” She said softly. “A man who kills and sees no pain in it for himself is a murderer. If the life is great or small, a man who can take life without a feeling of regret is the despised creature. If he kills a dog, or a child, or a man, and feels nothing, this one is the murderer.”

Somehow her words took away a lot of the burden on his shoulders and her touch seemed to ease some of the pain. Her words where like changing the world a little for the better.

“You know remorse better then any man I know, and this has saved you. You are not one who can simply kill, but you feel and pain and suffer. Put away your dagger for the night, come to my house, and receive my hospitality. Know you are not a beast. Please.” She reached to take his free hand.

Gwayne smiled and it showed bitterness for a flicker, then he placed the ritualistic knife back in its scabbard on his back. His hands seemed suddenly clean again and he accepted gladly the hand that Eivlys offered him.

"I know that I am not a monster, but I don't belong, and for some thats bad enough. My foster parents had to leave their village for the love they gave a child that they found and saved. It was a different race, and that was good enough to be banned from the village. It seems that only strength can force people to accept...."

The young man sighed and his hand squeezed that of Eivlys. "I gladly accept your hospitality spirit lady. Better get some warmth in our hearts and body. My name is Gwayne son of Ferlong. "

For the first time in many yahren Gwayne relaxed a bit.. just a bit. He could still be hurt, this lady could hurt him very very badly, and he knew it. But she also could make him happy so he accepted the risk. The Goddess wills.

Snowflakes started to fall while Gwayne followed Eivlys.

[Eivlys]

She smiled as he squeezed her hand. “You are wrong.” She said. “What changed your heart? I am sure it was not me forcing you.” She gave a small bright laugh as the snow started to fall.

She led him back to the house, the snowfall was pretty, and it gave a peace now the wind had slowed. “I have never seen it snow when the moon was out like this.” She opened the door, sliding back the wooded latch and pushing the door in. Wait for him to enter the humble house she shut it behind her. The room was warm and inviting, a rocking chair sat next to the fire with some cloth she was turning into a dress. A small basenet hung on the other side of the fire, warming a sleeping baby.

She pulled off her cloak and hung it on the wall next to Aetya’s cloak of feathers. She pulled off her boots and was back to her bare feet. “Please, have a seat.” She motioned to the rocker and walked to the kitchen that was not far from the fire, opening an oven that had red coals in it and the room filled with the smell of baking bread.

“That is my niece, Aetya, do not mind her, she should stay asleep.” She pulled the rolls from the oven, setting them in a basket with cheese cloth, wrapping the warm rolls up in the cloth to keep them warm. Outside the kitchen could be seen the garden, it was small and homey, cozy but not cramped.

The rolls were set on the table. “Where are my manners, I am Eivlys, Gwayne.” She said as she walked to the fire and lit a taper. She moved around the room as if she were always dancing, she glided and hummed a song softly; it was the same song he had sung. “You are welcome to take off your boots, perhaps clean up, I could boil some water if you wish it.”

She stopped and blew out the taper. “Your song was lovely. It is strange that even sadness can carry a king of beauty to it. I think it is a measure of our capacity to love, when we show great sadness.” She thought out loud as she went to the fireplace and pulled the pot that cooked over out on its swinging hook. She opened the lid and the smell of a herby broth and stewing vegetables filled the room.

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Eivlys smile made Gwayne feel good, it was long ago that someone had smiled at him. Gavins warlike grins did not really count and Syrawenn rarely just smiled...

“You are wrong.” She said. “What changed your heart? I am sure it was not me forcing you.”

Her laughter seemed to force the clouds aside and moonlight shone on Eivlys, it made Gwayne almost jump, he had not expected it and it startled him a bit.

"It was your smile and the reflexion of the question in your eyes who made me change my mind.." he softly answered.

“I have never seen it snow when the moon was out like this.” Eivlys said. While they entered a house that Gwayne never had seen in his own village. The house was warm and comfortable and while his eyes calmly looked around he became aware that there was something strange about the place. Not really strange, something familiar.

“Please, have a seat.” Eivlys said followed by “That is my niece, Aetya, do not mind her, she should stay asleep.” the name shocked Gwayne into his core because now he knew, his eyes went to the child and then to the feather cloak hanging at the wall. He knew that cloak. When he touched it he knew for sure. He just wondered if this was a cruel trick of the Goddess, or one of her smiles.

He stroked the cloak feeling the feathers against his skin, a picture in his head..... Aetya. Tears flowed freely now, not hindered by the cold, he missed the strength of Aetya although he had been so short a member of their small group. For a flicker he wondered it seemed that the cloak still had the smell of Aetya as well. When he was gathering the remains of her body he had never found the cloak even though he had searched for it for days, and now it was here. This had to be a dream... Eivlys had silver eyes, now he knew where he know those from. Aetya also had silver eyes... swan maiden.. it seemed that his heart could burst anytime.

“Where are my manners, I am Eivlys, Gwayne." the voice said behind him. He quickly wiped away the tears, he hated that he was weak. Her voice carried on.

You are welcome to take off your boots, perhaps clean up, I could boil some water if you wish it. Your song was lovely. It is strange that even sadness can carry a ring of beauty to it. I think it is a measure of our capacity to love, when we show great sadness.”

"Thank you.." he said simply. "The full moon is a holy moon, the face of the Goddess. I always sing my prayers at those nights." It was hard to answer somehow, his mouth was dry and his jaws seemed locked.

"Nnno nnnneed for warm water thank you , Eivlys is a very nice name." Gwayne took of his boots, he did not want to make a mess it this well organized place. Especially with a baby... his eyes where drawn to the little girl called Aetya. Somehow he was glad that her eyes where closed, they probably would not be silver but anyway. The smell of food was also nice.. so he tried to move his thoughts towards food and what Eivlys was saying about capacity to love. Maybe he had to much love he though.

He remembered the song for the Korey man

It was the first of creations day
When the Korey-man where made
That is how it is told by the Fea
And now the wind is carrying them away

The memory of earth, the walking past
With the strength of the mother
They should for ever last
And now the wind is carrying them away

You are a friend
We would have shared stories at the fire
But Korey-man this was a end
And now the wind shall carry you away

Breath of the Goddess, carry him far away
Take him back to your breast
For there to stay
Until the first of creations day

And the one for Aetya

It was the second of creations day
When the swan maiden came
That is how it is told by the Fea
And now the wind is carrying her away

The memory of air, the angels of light
With the fury of the mother
She should for ever fight
And now the wind is carrying her away

You are a friend, my love
We would have shared stories at the fire
But Aetya the Goddess called you from above
And now the wind shall carry you away

Breath of the Goddess, carry her far away
Take her back to your breast
For there to stay
Until the first of creations day

Away from me.....

It closed his mouth even further. So close and so far away... he stroked the cloak again. Never would he see those eyes again.

[Eivlys]

She dropped one of the metal plates she was holding and it clattered on the floor. “No!” She screamed rushing over to Gwayne. “No no no no!” She reached out to get the cloak away from him. “Oh mercy no… please… “ She started to weep, looking at him. “You should not be cursed so.”

She looked at the crib, then to him. “I pray you are not harmed. Oh I should have been more careful… “ She took both the cloaks and started for the bedroom. “They are cursed!” She stopped at the door looking over at him. “You could be cursed. By Aetya, oh I can never undo this evil on you. How can I repair this, how can I fix what may be done to you.”

“Master Gwayne, I… we are not human. We are swanmaids, and you have touched the cloak of one of us. No man can touch it but be our master, and if it is taken from them, they will die, wither and die.” She looked at the cloak. “So either I allow you to keep it, and allow her to be a slave, or I take it from you and allow you to die, and her to live.”

She looked at the cloaks. “Tell me, do you feel different?”

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

The sound of metal plates dropping on the ground made Gwayne jump and turn around to face Eivlys, the source of the sound “No!” Eivlys screamed rushing over to Gwayne. “No no no no!” She reached out to get the cloak away from him. “Oh mercy no… please… “ She started to weep, looking at him. “You should not be cursed so.”

he looked at the crib, then to him. “I pray you are not harmed. Oh I should have been more careful… “ She took both the cloaks and started for the bedroom. “They are cursed!” She stopped at the door looking over at him. “You could be cursed. By Aetya, oh I can never undo this evil on you. How can I repair this, how can I fix what may be done to you.”

“Master Gwayne, I… we are not human. We are swanmaids, and you have touched the cloak of one of us. No man can touch it but be our master, and if it is taken from them, they will die, wither and die.” She looked at the cloak. “So either I allow you to keep it, and allow her to be a slave, or I take it from you and allow you to die, and her to live.”

She looked at the cloaks. “Tell me, do you feel different?

Gwayne swallowed some saliva that somehow had gathered in his mouth. He was shocked to the core of his existence.

"I I......I.... I......." he took some deep breath and started anew, desperately trying to gain control again. "I... I am not your or anybodies master. No curse can make me that. I....I...I accept only a willing bonding, none one forced on someone else. I.. I.. am not human, I am adhiel..... I knew that you where a spirit lady, but I never realized that there where two cloaks. I touched one of them thinking it was Aetya's, did I do harm to one of you ?"

He gasped for air... "I... I... know now, I shall never take one of the cloaks away... NEVER...do anything that would harm you. I would d... d... die first. Ill leave now if you wish, but please I beg you answer this question is the child the same Aetya that I met ?"

While he waited for the answer he tried to answer the question if he felt different... the answer would be yes, he felt strange. It could be caused by the environment and the speed of all the changes that happened. He would be nobodies master, curse or not. Goddess wills, the young adhiel felt once again trapped in the wishes of the Goddess. It could have been worse he guessed. He decided that if he would feel that he was the master of one of the women, he would leave and stay away from them, nobodies master ! Whatever the costs.

A little voice inside him whispered... you would not be alone anymore, somebody who could never leave you. Not lonely anymore.... not lonely anymore... a quick grin of anger flushed over his face, the price would be to high. He would never let someone else pay the price for his loneliness, especially not somebody he cared for. He concluded that he was a danger to Aetya and Eivlys, she had called him master.... he had to leave and make sure that she stayed free.

"I am nobodies master.... I shall leave.." he said "Sorry that I paid your kindness with harm, its the story of my life. I shall stay away from you two, so you both shall be save."

Gwayne slowly backed away to the door, he felt something inside his body unknown to him. He wanted to run, to be away from those strange feelings, to be away from the hunger for not being lonely, to belong, he had to be away, but he also needed answers.................. fear, not for himself but for the to women flowed through the young adhiel. He was just not strong enough to protect anybody.... and Eivlys tears and fear where taking him apart. Something had happened .... something.... the Goddess wills..... Aetya... maybe he would die now.... nobodies master.. Aetya.. no..he would die for her... yes he would... Aetya.. never a slave.

He shivered and it was not the cold. Suddenly called by a reflection of Aether against his mood, the two handed sword and his war paint appeared on his bare upper body and back. The weight of the sword was heavy so he removed it and placed it beside the baby on the ground. After all he had take the weapon up to avenge her. Maybe dieing for her freedom would not be so bad after all. Maybe it was the Goddess wish, and Gwayne had learned to accept her wishes.

"No Eivlys, you don't have to worry, I feel fine. You can keep the cloak... After you answer my question I shall leave. This is the Aetya I knew right ?" Gwayne said it with only the slightest of shake in his soft voice.

"How is it possible ? Can you explain it to me ? " he just wanted to understand before he left, he smiled at the baby.

Strangely enough this was probably the first time that he could not blame Syrawenn for bad influence, to bad.

[Eivlys]

“It is not something you have willed, or something you have chosen.” She tried to explain. “Please, sit.” She motioned to the table where she had set some bowls before she dropped the plate. “This is not your fault, how could you have known. I should have been more careful, I should not have left them out.”

She calmed herself a little and took the cloaks and put them into a chest that sat under a window that looked to be the perfect spot to watch the garden. “I do not know if this is the Aetya you knew. I can say she is a swanmaid who was once a bard and a warrior, she was reborn with magic.” She went to the soup filling a bowl as she spoke. She set the bowl down. “Leaving will not fix this problem; running away is never a solution I have found works. You must face all your troubles someday.”

“I found the babe in the hands of an old crone. She told me of the curse on poor Aetya, and to spare her the pain she would suffer growing up, I took her curse.” She took one of the rolls and opened it and buttered it with some fresh butter that was almost as milky white as her skin.

She handed the warm roll to Gwayne. “You see, it is pressed into us, at least it was to me, that our cloaks are our freedom, and it is a double bladed curse to let someone touch it. One edge puts us in chains; we become the slave of the one who has it. The other is when we are free; the one who had it cannot find peace until they have it again.” She gave him a shrug. “I think there could be a compromise given. You may have to stay with us, to stay with her and protect her. She could use a father; I know I am glad for having a father.”

“I did not mean to scare you, truly.” She said softly, reaching for his wrist to lead him back to the table.

[Turi]

OOC: Stepping in on Gwayne's request

It was merely conjecture, but as the words fell from the swanmaiden's lips, Gwayne knew the first part to be true. Already a cold, hard knot lay in his stomach at the thought of straying too far from the golden-haired cherub slumbering in her cradle. For a time, he knew it would be bearable. He had renounced his claim on the cloak and he was still strong and whole.

But almost compulsively, his eyes wandered towards the infant Aetya. And somehow, in a detached, abstract kind of way, he knew that life would not be worth living without her. Without watching her grow and laugh and dance and live. All his friends and all his loves would be pale, feeble lanterns compared to the sunlight of her presence. All food would turn to ash in his mouth and wine would be as rancid water.

Until she was his again, body and soul... Dark, disturbing desires danced fleetingly on the edge of his awareness. A faint stirring began in his loins.

And slowly, the full meaning of the horror of the swanmaiden's curse began to steal upon him...

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

While inside him a war was waging between old and new feelings, Gwayne desperately tried not to show it to Eivlys. Sweat started to poor down his back while he forced his mouth into a slight smile. Inside him Aetya grew bigger until she filled his whole universe for a while until he could take control again.

He knew that the battle would reflect in his eyes and hoped that Eivlys would not be sensitive enough to read them. A quick decision later, he took of his boots and accepted the place at the table. Instantly he felt better, he was close to Aetya and had no plans to leave, so it stopped fighting inside him. A gasp left his lungs while he got control again. Nobodies master.....

The words Eivlys spoke dripped inside him while he accepted the food, he had been hungry and it seemed that the constant fight against dark desires inside him took all his energy. “Leaving will not fix this problem; running away is never a solution I have found works. You must face all your troubles someday“Leaving will not fix this problem; running away is never a solution I have found works. You must face all your troubles someday

Eivlys healing words went on, and Gwayne concentrated on them trying to gain strength of of them.“Leaving will not fix this problem; running away is never a solution I have found works. You must face all your troubles someday.I found the babe in the hands of an old crone. She told me of the curse on poor Aetya, and to spare her the pain she would suffer growing up, I took her curse.”

Gwayne accepted the the buttered roll, it tasted better then anything then that he had eaten in a long time.

Eivlys went on, “You see, it is pressed into us, at least it was to me, that our cloaks are our freedom, and it is a double bladed curse to let someone touch it. One edge puts us in chains; we become the slave of the one who has it. The other is when we are free; the one who had it cannot find peace until they have it again. I think there could be a compromise given. You may have to stay with us, to stay with her and protect her. She could use a father; I know I am glad for having a father.”

Gwayne sighed, he new that truth in the long run always worked better then lei's. It would be better to speak up his mind.

"Eivlys, I feel powers I have never felt before raging inside my mind and body, they change me, feed me with desires I loathe and hate, but at the same time do they spark love and compassion. I feel like my life is nothing without Aetya but also a part of me wants to claim her....."

The dark desires flowed back from the place he had pushed them away, and a groan left his mind again while he fought to gain control over himself. His eyes focused on the babies eyes... Aetya's eyes he was sure now.

"This baby is the Aetya I knew and admired...."

So that was what the Goddess had decided he had been unable to save Aetya's life nor avenge her, so now he had to pay the price. Making sure that she would return and then he would leave.... and die probably. A small price to pay."

His body shivered under the emotions rocking through it. "I would make a lousy and strange father I think." Gwayne said with a sad smile. "A painted adhiel... nobody ever trusts strangers and people who are not like themselves..." Not that he had much choice , he either would leave now, and maybe die or stay and live.... inside him something said would staying not be much more pleasurable ? Gwayne pushed the voice away.

He bit his lips until blood started to poor out just to get more grip on himself. Then a decision was made he would stay, until the day.... something inside him cheered and a feeling of loathing battled it.

Gwayne looked up to Eivlys and said "Would you really not mind to have me around Eivlys ?"

[Eivlys]

The silvery eyes met his and looked sincerely surprised. “What do you mean would I mind you?” She went to the fire, picking up a bowl as she passed the table. She knelt with the bowl and ladled some of the soup into the bowl. “I would not mind at all. Could you stand living with a pair of swan maids? We can be rather emotional at times.” She stood from the fire and placed the bowl on the table before him.

“You say they will not trust you because you are strange and different. Well, the people I am with are strange and different. I make out a modest living as an entertainer. We make enough to get by, I have in no way perfected this craft, but I work to each day.” She smiled at Gawyne.

“I like my parties and I like my friends.” She sighed softly. “All the mortals who have been with me have died, Gwayne, terrible deaths. If you can live with the danger that comes with staying with a swan maid, then feel free to come and stay with us.”

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwayne smiled at Eivlys and said "One of these days you should meet Syrawenn, if you think that Swanmaidens are emotional. I bet she is the Goddess of intense emotion sometimes. "

He took the bowl of soup and then remembered something, so he searched in his backpack until he found a small wooden statue of a woman. He placed it on the table, it was a statue of Aetya.

Gwayne started to eat the soup, actually enjoying it. "I am actually a woodworker as profession." he said. His eyes watched the tittle girl then he decided. It would not be the curse what would bind them, he would not let that happen. It was against his nature and believe.

He slipped the sacrificial knife out and made a small cut in his hand. A few drops of blood fell to the ground...marking his promise to the Goddess, he would make sure that the two women would be save. It was easier now Syrawenn had Gavin to take care of her.... Although he would never tell Syrawenn because that would be a sure kick to his whatever she could reach.

Eivlys said “You say they will not trust you because you are strange and different. Well, the people I am with are strange and different. I make out a modest living as an entertainer. We make enough to get by, I have in no way perfected this craft, but I work to each day.” She smiled at Gawyne.

“I like my parties and I like my friends.” Eivlys sighed softly. “All the mortals who have been with me have died, Gwayne, terrible deaths. If you can live with the danger that comes with staying with a swan maid, then feel free to come and stay with us.”

"Well, being a swanmaiden does not kill mortals Eivlys, its our own deeds and circumstances that make it so. I am not prepared to die yet." Gwayne answered with a smile. "But I don't think that I mind to stay, your a great cook by the way.."

Gwayne finished the soup, he was really enjoying it. He just ignored all the dark feelings inside him, whatever the cost of energy...

Interesting times again... wow Aetya was alive... It was a shock to him, as usual in his life lately everything changed.

[Eivlys]

She waved a spoon at him and laughed. “You never tasted my mother’s cooking, she was a good cook.” She poured a bowl and sat across the table. She pulled her long white hair back and up, taking a quill and lancing it through the bun she hastily made. Her red tinted lips drew up in a smile, she obviously used make up though it looked almost natural. She stirred the baby, waking the child in lifting her from the basket. “We have a visitor.” She said as she set the little girl up on her knee.

Eivlys looked across the table and smiled at Gawyne. He seemed so torn inside, and this made her heart go out to him. He was a handsome man, and she did like how he looked. She had to keep a close watch on herself though, she could not just fall for any man.

Her mind drifted to Amber, and she longed for her touch. The thought played across her head, wondering how different he would be then Amber. She was strong like a man, she also had an endearing softness she could not resist.

She scooped up some of the soup and fed it to Aetya. “I do not think you understand me. A woman who helped me escape a managerie was eaten…” She looked at him quite directly, “by a tree. Another I tried to care for was taken by men and I could do nothing as a swan. A couple who sheltered me were murdered by the Red Bears.” She continued to feed the baby, whipping at the mouth when she would spit up a bit of the food. “I do not trust myself to get close to most mortals. They seem to always be taken away.” She handed the baby a roll to let her gnaw on it for a bit.

“She likes to eat, and now she can eat most soups and foods if I mash them up good.” She sighed. “So tell me about her. Was she cursed?”

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

“You never tasted my mother’s cooking, she was a good cook.” said Eivlys while threatening Gwayne with a spoon. Gwayne smiled while he thought about the fact that mothers food was always the best... except in his case... his father was the better cook.

The thought and the picture of Eivlys with the baby brought a smile to his face. Then he listened while she told him what happened with all the people who helped her... it was pretty bad. Not that it changed anything for the young adhiel, after all the Goddess wills and just kick their ass, as Syrawenn would say.

Gwayne smiled again leaned a bit back and watched Eivlys eyes for a few flickers while he thought a bit longer about the story and the questions. Then slowly he started to answer, "Well, people always choose their own path, and sometimes we die following it. It doesn't change the fact that it can still be the right path. I serve the Goddess but I still make my own choices, my oath to her to protect you and Aetya is a choice that I made, so the results are mine as well. I have been forced to kill while trying to help Aetya and the Korey-man it damaged my soul worse because they did not want the Goddess mercy and I still released their soul..... But in the end everybody made his own decision and we all fought where believed in. And then you have to accept the price.. "

It was a nice saying, but Gwayne had never accepted the price himself, Aetya's death had shocked him to the core then. He watched the baby remembering the feelings when he saw her die, while deep inside him dark emotions tried to lure him again he squeezed his hand together and a few more drops of blood created a small pool on the table.... He would never feel that again......

Then suddenly Gwayne realized the question about the curse... "Uh, I don't know I met her and she could change into a swan.. and she served the Goddess as well, I just thought that she was a fairy, I had met those before and they come in many shapes......"
a quick smile passed over his face when he resumed "But never as good looking and strong as her... she never hesitated, she always knew what to do, and then she died by the hands of a warrior of the one, cowardly covered in steel and handling a huge blade like this." Gwayne touched the two handed sword. "That shall never happen again..." the voice of the adhiel was full of anger and focused on the little lady. "She looked like this statue although it is not good enough.." Now he pointed at the small statue of a woman naked as the day she was born and clearly made with a lot of patience...... it was Aetya

[Eivlys]

She looked at the statue and felt a small pang of jealousy. “She was beautiful, she must have been to have you put such effort into making that.” She fed another bite to the babe. “You are going to be a handful when you start noticing boys, aren’t you. Gawyne will have to scare off a lot of boys.” She smiled at them both, and it struck her. He must have cared for her deeply to carve such a thing.

When the anger tainted his voice she felt a deep sense of pain. “I am sorry. Did she know how you felt before she died?” She asked. It was clear on his face how much he must have cared, and it did not take much deduction with the statue still kept by him. It was touching, and sad.

“You should not blame the man who killed her. If it was not her time, if the Goddess she followed did not want her to die, she would have lived.” She said reaching out a hand to touch his arm. “I am sure the man who killed her has lost others as dear to him as you have. I am sure if he was to die there would be another who ached in their heart as deeply as you do. Your anger will not avenge her, and even your blade and the blood of others will not remake what is lost.”

She picked up the statue and held it, taking it to Aetya to see. “You see, you will be very lovely, and command the hearts of handsome men, you already do command one.” She looked over at Gawyne. “She will die again, as will you, immortality is a gift we keep as long as we do not know a man. If you love each other, then she will die, of time and mortality.” She let the baby hold the statue while she ate.

“Even you will die, we cannot change what the gods have chosen. We can make the time we have worth something.” She smiled at her guest. “You will have a long time to raise her, and then love her. It will give you another view of her, a greater knowledge, and understanding.”

“If I could know my love so well, I would never fear in that love. Never worry about what I say or do, because I would know they know me and I know them and love them for exactly that reason.”

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwayne felt jealousy and hate flow through him when Eivlys noticed boys would try to take Aetya away from him, for a few flickers he fought the feelings, almost groaning in physical pain, but then he suppressed it again. He almost missed all the other things that where said by Eivlys.

Then with a touch of bitterness he said "No I don't need to scare of the boys because she is free to decide anything herself, I have no right to claim anybodies life except my own.... But the man who killed her did kill her for me, that scar shall never heal, I did see the remains of her body. I made her funeral fire and have returned the ashes to the sky she loved so much. I was sure that she was gone, never to return. Even now my feelings are mixed up, a part of me not believing that she is back, a part wants to posses her, a part of me wants to run away to make sure I wont be disappointed. Or worse that she would be harmed in any way. Actually now you told me that if she would have loved me she would have been mortal, as far as I know she barely noticed me. I think that I should be better off by helping to raise her and then set her free as a daughter, then to dream of what she could be to me... That would hurt to much. I don't think I would be able to handle that without breaking."

Inside something ugly roared and grumbled, demanding satisfaction. After a few flickers he used his own pain, fears and bitterness to push it away again. The idea that he could be the curse for Aetya to much to bare. Maybe he had made the oath in haste again, as he always made his decisions... But no change could be made now, he would live up to his oath, whatever the costs.

Then with the glistering of tears in his eyes he softly said...

"A love unanswered is worse then death.... it eats the heart and fills the hole with foolishness. I would never claim a love that is not given freely and never accept it when its forced through a curse, I rather die then defile it like that, It would be a curse to me rather then to her.I just want her smile back. I saw it only a few times especially one night it was reflected in a lake by the light of the moon and touched my heart. I want to see her eyes smile again. Because then I know that the land is whole, and the people who live here are save."

Gwayne had a feeling that two hands tried to crush his heart....

Then for a flicker.... " Eivlys ??? Where is this house ?" he asked suddenly realizing that there was something strange..

[Eivlys]

She looked away. She did not like seeing him upset. She did not seem to be able to say anything to help him feel better.

So she sang. She sang softly and continued to feed the baby.

“Just like the songbird, deep in the forest
I sing praises but you never hear
And deep in my body my song is silent
But contented at times when you're near”

She fed the baby and looked over at Gawyne. Her eyes lit up when she sang, she truly loved the sound and her voice lilted over the words, drawing them out at the end and the melody was deep and soft.

“Please listen to me and I will tell thee
All those words that have never been said
They shout inside me but then they cower
Behind weakness that's ruling my head”

“I deraly love thee and not one another
Will know seetness that lies in my breast
'Tis you that made me but Gods forbade me
To uncover my heart to love a test”

“No love is sorrow and now I'm happy
To have thee in this world for my love
And now you must know my soul is for thee
That's why this love is my soaring dove
That's why this love is my soaring dove”

She touched Aetya’s nose when she finished and looked over at Gawyne. “This house. This is just a dream. My new house is not nearly as furnished.” She rocked the child. “Where are you in the waking world?”

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwayne relaxed listening to the song, his singing had only be for sad occasions lately so this was better to him.

Then she asked him where he was in the waking world... and he realized what was so strange out here, it was Aether..

"I am in Hafne I think... No I left I am sleeping under a tree in somewhere else in Dort then." he said

[Eivlys]

“Really.” She says with a bit of excitement. “I just moved out of the Knot. I have a proper home now. With a lovely pond, and a garden.” She lights up, her eyes brightening as she talks. “It will be a pity I cannot work in it during the day. I usually do not sleep at nights you know. Spend the day as a swan. If I slept my life would be all as a swan. You cannot have a decent life if you are a swan all the time.”

She adjusted the baby in her arms. “We moved in tonight, so I slept some, moving can be a chore.” She informed him. “We did not have much though, but it was still difficult.”

“I am concerned the curse is just as effective here as it would be in the waking world.” She commented softly. “You would need to find us if it is. Or you might want to just to see Aetya?” She looked across the table at him, the silvery eyes searching his. “You would not be too hurt if you did, would you?”

[Gwayne of Vendeling]

Gwayne was listening to Eivlys while still sticking up the pieces that he was in Aether. Though he was aware of every word she said. "I don't know, I know the curse is in my bones now, maybe when I wake up it just disappears like a bad dream."

Then he smiled. "Well pain of the heart rarely kills so I can manage. I think you need a daywatch. So the Goddess guides my path again.. I just hope that these feelings of possession and controlling disappear because they are really hurting me. The combination of loving and possession seems not to be a good one. A part of me wants to make sure that she is free and can do what she wants and the other part of me wants to control her and make her mine, by force if needed. I would never be able to live with myself if I would do that."

Gwayne pondered for a few flickers then resumed "If the curse is not there in the waking world I come to you two."

He left in the middle what he would do if the curse was active, a idea to horrible to be reality.