Wrong is just wrong... 30th Jygust, MT

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Fialessa Valenstri
Panling Priestess
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Location: The Citadel - on the inside now!

Wrong is just wrong... 30th Jygust, MT

Post by Fialessa Valenstri »

Within her room within the temple of Pan, Fialessa sat before the glass running the brush absently through her hair... almost angrily. Nothing had been sitting well with her since Eilish's return. Not that she'd known Eilish before, but certainly something seemed not right about her either. Fia had been reluctant to speak with Naomi or Noland about her feelings, but maybe she should. She didn't want to seem contentious, almost everybody seemed to know that Fialessa disagreed with the High Priestess and her insistence that these constant orgies were the way to repair the Altar... And thus far it was Fialessa that was right, for the altar remained unchanged. Not that she wanted to gloat, she was damned upset that the altar had not come to life under Eilish's return. As to her mind it truly should have given a High Priestess of Joy in the temple again... though even with just Vanir it had stirred not at all... Even more she was upset that the focus of the temple seemed to return to revolving solely around sex...

She yanked harder than she'd meant as she felt the pain of hair separating from scalp; tears sprung to her eyes. Hadn't Pan himself scolded her and Vanir for their involvement with the whorehouse... where was this any better – orgies were not the Joy. Or was she truly that far removed from her faith... did Joy truly not touch her? Did this mean that mayhaps her path lay elsewhere when it had once seemed so certain this was the way... Fia prayed Pan would find some way to let her know if she was wrong. She needed to find a strength within her that she did not think she had.
[i][color=black][size=84]There is a fine line between coincidence and fate...

[url=http://hito76.deviantart.com/]Avatar is 'Karelle' from the drawing Intimite by Hito, used with permission.[/url][/size][/color][/i]
Vanir Alfheim
Priest of Joy
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Post by Vanir Alfheim »

Vanir laid peacefully in bed, enjoying the feel of silk against his naked skin. The posh bed was dressed in violet sheets and quite standard among the Temple as panlings were well known for their desire of comfort. He enjoyed the first feel of morning when all the burdens of the day had not reached him yet and all the mistakes of yesterday were past. It was in this brief moment that Vanir always felt at peace.

The adhiel glanced over at his lover, watching her comb the long red hair that flowed down her back. The sight of her naked flesh always stirring a desire through his body. She had renewed him from his depressed state a year ago and brought him a new sense of purpose. He then noticed that his companion had actually hurt herself in her simple morning routine, which he knew was the sign of something deeper. It was no secret about her mistrust and dislike of Eilish, yet Vanir had to give his old friend the benefit of doubt.

"It's Eilish, isn't it?" Vanir spoke softly to Fialessa as he watched over her. "It is always Eilish." He spoke somewhat softer to himself. It had been true since her sudden and unexplained return to the Citadel. "I don't care much for it either, but surely it is not without guidance. She is not merely the High Priestess of Pan, but his daughter as well. It cannot be without some reason that she has returned and took up her old ways. Pan must know what she does, especially within the walls of the Temple." The sweet voice of the priest reached out compassionately to his best friend and lover. He often knew her thoughts without needing to hear them.
[color=green]Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right." [/color]

Avatar by the wonderful Finn. Much thanks!!
Fialessa Valenstri
Panling Priestess
Posts: 387
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:17 pm
Location: The Citadel - on the inside now!

Post by Fialessa Valenstri »

She sighed heavily, a part of her wished Vanir still slept as she heard his voice rising from her bed. For some reason she was afraid he might think her petty. She didn't turn, not right away. “It's not that I don't like her... not really..” she started wearily.

Fialessa rose after a moment and turned to face the bed, and Vanir, her thigh length hair falling down around her. “I... I just mean... I know on some level Pan must be aware. But really... Vanir...” She sighed again, looking slightly lost.

“She may be his daughter, but Van... does that mean she's right? is this right – what she's doing? Does she even know what happened here? Does she care? Wasn't this sort of behaviour the downfall of this temple before?!” Her voice started to raise and she stopped. She tried to calm herself down by taking a breath.

“Or am I missing something, everyone thinks me cold, does Joy truly not touch me?” her voice now small, uncertain, her eyes full of worry and distress.
[i][color=black][size=84]There is a fine line between coincidence and fate...

[url=http://hito76.deviantart.com/]Avatar is 'Karelle' from the drawing Intimite by Hito, used with permission.[/url][/size][/color][/i]
Vanir Alfheim
Priest of Joy
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Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 8:18 pm
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Post by Vanir Alfheim »

Vanir tried to remain light-hearted as Fialessa fired a quiver of questions at him. He knew that most could not be answered with simple words, but he knew which questions were most important to her. He raised up on his elbows, letting the sheets slide down to his lap, and spoke softly to his dearest friend.

"I do not know the answer to all of that, but I do not feel any better about this than you do. Would it ease you some if I went and spoke to her privately? Eilish and I used to be quite close, not only as lovers, but as friends as well. I cannot promise she will listen to me, but I will try to make her understand. Perhaps she might even explain her purpose here so that we might understand her as well?" Vanir knew that Eilish was prone to stubbornly follow her own whims, but she was not stupid and might listen to an old friend.

It was the final question that truly concerned Vanie about his friend, her own doubts vocalized. He smiled sweetly at his lover and spoke with a gentle caring that only a true lover can have. "You understand the Joy better than you might realize. I know when we lay together it is more than simply sharing the Joy, but it does not mean we cannot do that as well some nights. Would you like a lesson in the Joy from a priest himself?" The sly smile of the former bard was both teasing and inviting. He hoped to at least calm her fears, if not actually show her the Joy this morning as well.
[color=green]Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right." [/color]

Avatar by the wonderful Finn. Much thanks!!
Fialessa Valenstri
Panling Priestess
Posts: 387
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:17 pm
Location: The Citadel - on the inside now!

Post by Fialessa Valenstri »

A measure of relief touched her that he too felt uncomfortable with some of what was going on, a small measure. That he knew Eilish and could speak to what she was... “You know her, or rather knew her – is this how she was then? Has she not changed?” She still felt there seemed to be something off about the other woman. But Fia didn't know her well enough to say, that was part of what truly worried her.

If she knew Vanir not at all, she might have been outraged. In a way it might seem that he cared not at all about her voiced concerns and expressed some ulterior motive. But she did know him, and she knew this was more than just a clever ploy to bed her. Fialessa however wasn't ready to just give over. Ordinarily she wasn't insecure, but where her faith was concerned – where the Paths of Pan coincided with herself and she found herself lacking...


Her well defined eyebrows drew concernedly together, “So you say, but...” Fia sighed again and flounced on the corner of the bed. “I just feel as if I must be missing something. About Eilish... the temple... Joy... you ... me... Especially the Joy. I know it has to connect somehow... but...” she faltered.
[i][color=black][size=84]There is a fine line between coincidence and fate...

[url=http://hito76.deviantart.com/]Avatar is 'Karelle' from the drawing Intimite by Hito, used with permission.[/url][/size][/color][/i]
Vanir Alfheim
Priest of Joy
Posts: 2708
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 8:18 pm
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Post by Vanir Alfheim »

Vanir leaned forward and ran his fingertips along Fialessa's arm, teasing her skin softly. He had always enjoyed the soft touches instead of simply groping like most panlings. The feel of her smooth skin beneath his fingers was more erotic than any orgy of Eilish's. The gentle words of the priest were meant to reassure his friend.

"Eilish has become more...vigorous in her interests since her return, but she has always been closer to the Joy than most. I assume it is partially due to her own interesting history and birth. However that does not excuse her current behavior by any means. She had once chastised me about relying too heavily on the Joy, yet now she is more energetic than I ever was. It is a strange occurance to be sure and one I will make sure she explains herself this time, but I warn you that she does not often answer to anyone....ever." Vanir laughed softly and grinned at his lover.

"Perhaps we simply need to show Eilish what the Joy truly is? I have never had any problems with the orgies, but it is not what we need at the moment. The Joy can be shared in other ways, even if they are still sexual. It is more about sharing passion and giving thanks to Pan for the gift he has given, the ability to enjoy the passions of another. These orgies have provided nothing but sex for those involved, which is fine in itself, but it is not the Joy. The Joy is about giving yourself over to another, but physcially and emotionally. It is a strong bond between two people that can never be broken. A bond we already share and share often." Vanir takes her hand, placing it over his heart and smiling sweetly.
[color=green]Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right." [/color]

Avatar by the wonderful Finn. Much thanks!!
Fialessa Valenstri
Panling Priestess
Posts: 387
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:17 pm
Location: The Citadel - on the inside now!

Post by Fialessa Valenstri »

It was sweet in it's way, and certainly a method that pulled her away from a complete descent into uncertainty.

She was surprised to hear that Eilish had spoken to Vanir in regards to his exploits and yet now... Fia figured Vanir had the right of it. It wasnt for her to deal with after all she had no real association with Eilish and he did. Still it didn't mean she had to like it.

It gave her some comfort to have Vanir describe his thoughts and feelings about the Joy. Truly it reassured her that she had felt it right. And now as she felt his heart beat under the tips of her fingers she did smile a little at him. “You do well as a priest... and as a friend.”
[i][color=black][size=84]There is a fine line between coincidence and fate...

[url=http://hito76.deviantart.com/]Avatar is 'Karelle' from the drawing Intimite by Hito, used with permission.[/url][/size][/color][/i]
Vanir Alfheim
Priest of Joy
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Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 8:18 pm
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Post by Vanir Alfheim »

Vanir smiled tenderly as Fialessa left her hand upon his chest, knowing their deep bond. It was often unsaid how deep it went, although there were rumors among the other panlings. He stared deep into the eyes of his lover, knowing she needed something more this morning. The delicate voice of the former bard reached out for the depths of the priestess' soul.

"It is never too late for a lesson of Joy. You speak of balance among the paths, yet you shy away from the Joy yourself. Would you care for a reminder of what we can truly experience in Pan's name?" Vanir let his hand gently slide back up her arm until it rested on her cheek, holding her face softly in his hand.
[color=green]Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right." [/color]

Avatar by the wonderful Finn. Much thanks!!
Fialessa Valenstri
Panling Priestess
Posts: 387
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:17 pm
Location: The Citadel - on the inside now!

Post by Fialessa Valenstri »

“Not partaking in Eilish's orgies is not shying away from the Joy...” She looked at him carefully and shifted on the bed.

Fia continued headlong into speech, “I don't know why it's so difficult for me. Maybe it's because I truly believe that Joy is more than just mindless sex with unnamed and unnumbered masses. I do want balance within myself, I honestly do. And you have been so willing and patient in your teachings to me. I don't mean to hold myself away – nor do I try to... Maybe I think too much and allow less to just happen... I didn't used to be this way, you know.”
[i][color=black][size=84]There is a fine line between coincidence and fate...

[url=http://hito76.deviantart.com/]Avatar is 'Karelle' from the drawing Intimite by Hito, used with permission.[/url][/size][/color][/i]
Vanir Alfheim
Priest of Joy
Posts: 2708
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 8:18 pm
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Post by Vanir Alfheim »

Vanir smiled softly at his true friend as he stroked her cheek tenderly. "I am not talking about what Eilish is doing. She has gone in one direction as much as you have gone in the other. Neither way is truly wrong, but neither is balanced. You can share the Joy with another without having mindless sex, my sweet Fialessa. It is not so much as having sex as it is sharing the passion between those that believe in the way of Pan. Passion is not a problem for you as I can fully attest, but you are afraid to let yourself go, even with me. I do not expect you to leave her and go join the group at the Altar, but you can start in smaller ways. You have to find a way that is comfortable for you and praising to Pan. We each give our thanks in different ways for the gifts He has given us and the gift of passion is His most important. Do you not agree?" The playful blue eyes of the priest shined brightly at his lover, hoping to ease her doubts.
[color=green]Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right." [/color]

Avatar by the wonderful Finn. Much thanks!!
Fialessa Valenstri
Panling Priestess
Posts: 387
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:17 pm
Location: The Citadel - on the inside now!

Post by Fialessa Valenstri »

...but you are afraid to let yourself go, even with me... she heard him say - had she been? she'd never noticed, not really. Sure she was a little reserved, and moreso since the beginnings of her training in the priesthood. Maybe it wasn't a conscious thing... she'd always kept a careful reign on her emotions with Vanir, since they'd become lovers. He was her closest friend to be sure, and she loved him in that way. But she'd not wanted to get carried away into territory that could become awkward for both of them. She'd seen it happen that way between friends before and Vanir was to dear to lose over something like that.

She nodded, and she did agree with what Vanir was saying to her, but why then was she being judged as cold and unfeeling simply for not joining in Eilish's little diversions. Her serious amber eyes met his teasing gaze, “Of course you know I agree Vanir, that is not really something I've ever disputed. I am glad at least you find that I am not completely devoid of Passion,” she noted wryly to the man lying naked in her bed. “But I guess I was hoping that it would come sooner than this, finding the path of Joy within...”

The young priestess shook her head “Honestly I didn't realize how far I was from it - that there really is such a divide between Art and Joy.” She tried not to sigh, “ I do want so much to find it though Vanir, that bridge that joins the two. You will still help me?” Fialessa's own gaze plead silently with him now. Her look was not desperate though as it could have been had she been someone else, instead it was entirely hopeful.
[i][color=black][size=84]There is a fine line between coincidence and fate...

[url=http://hito76.deviantart.com/]Avatar is 'Karelle' from the drawing Intimite by Hito, used with permission.[/url][/size][/color][/i]
Ashari
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Post by Ashari »

OOC: Locked for player inactivity.
[color=#000000][i]"What of the soul was left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop?"[/i]
-- Robert Browning. [/color][size=75][i]Avatar by: [url=http://vyrl.deviantart.com/]vyrl[/url][/i][/size]
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