Conversations with the dead (Zaure & Elaine)

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Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine enjoyed the scenery, despite the horrid reason behind it. "I do not agree, Zaure. We might meet again and again and again. I will find a way, somehow. I do not agree with 'just getting justice' for your death either. Yes, of course other things will undoubtedly be bigger and more important, but to me you are as well and I need to know that somehow your death made sense." She managed to pronounce the word without immediately crying again, although her throat felt suspiciously thick again.

"I remember our lesson, dear teacher." Elaine followed in the game. "But I am thinking you are still in danger of getting trampled, so you had better help me out. Little squares first? And you set the beat, right?"
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure smiled at her, "I certainly hope so, Elaine... if there is a way, we'll find one. If there isn't, then we'll make one up!" He stroked her cheek again in that tender way, "Elaine, almost no death will ever make sense. I'm saying that if you must act, don't do it just for me. What is big or important is made up by what is important and small in individual hearts. Do not mistake what you find as important for small."

The elf grinned, "Yes, well, I can't feel pain at least! Still, let me save the indignity of having red toes," Zaure made a gesture and some boots appeared on his formerly bare feet, "Now, yes, small squares. You remember? Let us try one." The elf stepped through the square pattern, waiting to see if Elaine would follow.
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

The way he touched her cheek moved Elaine. The sweet Elf had so much to offer and now it had all been taken away...No, don't think of it. No despair, just having good old fun dancing. She immediately caught herself. "I'll make sure I don't sacrifice myself for something idiotic." The woman consented. "Will that do? I cannot promise not to follow my heart, though. Come on, teach me to dance already!"

As soon as Zaure started the familiar squares, Elaine followed, paying close attention to every move as if it was the last dance she'd ever have. A good chance at that. She thought, not believing for one moment there would be another willing to teach her. "Teach me something more difficult, wise master." She grinned, wanting to make the best of it.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure felt the despair threatening Elaine again and reached up a tender strand of pale green light melody to stroke it away at around the time she herself banished it, and chuckled, "It will have to, won't it, Elaine? Well, aren't you the impatient one!" He grinned and reached in to kiss her nose gently, "One more square first. The square is the basis for all dancing, after all. Or at least the type you want to learn." He danced with her for a little while longer, then stopped, "Would you like to try the twirl again, my student?" His eyes twinkled; were it not for the scenery, which would be found nowhere in the Citadel, he could almost believe he was alive again.
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine heard the soft melody playing around them and enjoyed it. It was what bound her and Zaure together and it was what would remind her of him eternally. "I'd like to believe we have all the time in the world, dear Zaure, but I won't chance missing my dance with you!" She managed to joke. The kiss on her nose caught her by surprise and she felt her cheeks grow warm again.

"You silly Elf." The Earendil said fondly and followed him in another set of squares. "Yes, let's twirl! If this is a dream I won't hurt myself anyway! I want to learn and remember as much as I can. Nicely selfish, but that's something I'll gladly accept."
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure leaned his head in to whisper in her ear, "But we do have all the time in the world... time is different here... you may stay here for what feels like an eternity and yet have only slept a night. Why, and here it's me you want to dance with! I feel so honored, Elaine! Well, of course I shall dance with you, fair maiden." He put a hand on her warm cheek and then ran his thumb across her lips, thinking a moment before seeming to come back from the recesses of his mind, "Of course. Ready?"

The elf twirled her out, and, as soon as it was over, he had her back in his arms and was holding her closely again, "Well, my student, what do you wish to learn now?"
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

"Oh, time is finally on our side then. Thank the gods for small mercies." Elaine exclaimed. Something had changed with Zaure on this other side of life. He felt more sure of himself, more at ease than he had been in the Citadel. It was a change the young woman would have loved to see earlier, but at least it was here now in time for them to enjoy their time together. Zaure's caresses came naturally and she simply could not take offense. "What were you thinking of, dear friend?" She inquired when she noticed his lapse in attention. "And yes, I am ready..."

She braced herself for the difficulties in the twirl, but before there was time for worrying, the girl found herself back in her teacher's arms. "What would I wish to learn now?" Strangely enough that question was enough to bring back the tears in her pale blue eyes. "I wish to learn more about you, Zaure."
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure chuckled again, "Yes, I suppose we could thank them for it, although I think this place existed before they did...Oops, was I not supposed to say that?" He grinned at Elaine and continued dancing in small steps with her, then sighed, "Something I'm not supposed to be thinking about since you made it clear you didn't want kisses, dear Elaine." The elf mimicked her address of him and touched her cheek again, "No, no more crying, Elaine!" Once again, the elf stroked her with a strand of melody.

He stopped dancing abrubtly, still holding her close to him, "What about me would you like to know, Elaine?"
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine enjoyed the little dancing and playing around. To her consternation she found herself blushing even more at Zaure's remark about kissing. She laughed as he touched her cheek again and the melody wove itself around her. "Zaure, you have no idea of the things I find myself thinking now." The girl confessed. "There is so much I want to know and yet I haven't got the faintest what to ask. What is your favourite food? Don't say grapes or I'll step on your toes. What...I don't know. I just want to know."

She spread her arms for lack of words. "There we go again, the wanna be bard without words!"
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure smiled at her, "I would if you would tell me, dearest Elaine. I regret that I wasn't far enough to just pick the thoughts from your mind, the way you guard them! Perhaps you should tell me? Please?" His voice became quieter and resounded in a very truthful sort of way, then the elf grinned once more at her, still holding her very close to him with one arm around her waist while the other stroked her face, hair, and neck, "My favorite food? No, not grapes, although grapes are delectable. Well, I was very fond of, and miss dearly, ice cream. I love ice cream. You must promise me to go to the ice cream shop and taste it just once, for me."

"Words are not always needed, although I like them." He gathered her back in his arms and returned to the idle touches and caresses.
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine sighed. How was it possible that Zaure's sweet caresses were so welcome in this strange dream? How was she going to explain that she liked the way she felt around him? How, on the other hand, was she going to explain that something very ugly reared it's head when she thought about him actually kissing her? Shadows played at the edge of her mind, wanting to chase out the beautiful moment they were creating. Forcefully she pushed the shadows back and with them the reason for her confusion.

"It's hard to tell you when I can't find the words to explain it, Zaure." She finally apologized. What would happen if he actually kissed me? Why does it scare me so? Is this just because it feels hypocritical? Cause this is a dream? Argh, what is going on in my head?

Instead she enjoyed how he stroked her hair. "Ice cream. I had some on my very first day in town. It is a strange food, but I liked it. I will gladly eat it in your honour." She half teased the kind Elf and snuggled back into his arms.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure sat once more upon the grass, using Elaine's hand to pull her down gently with him. He sat behind her, running his fingers through her hair and over her face. The elf craved touch, craved the feel of another person, another being, "You are scared, Elaine... why? What are you scared of right now? There isn't anything to hurt you here..." 'Anything other than what you feel on the inside, of course.' He held her close, pressing her body next to his in thought, "Please tell me, Elaine, I want to know. No secrets here. Not now... please..."

The elf thought for a moment, "Is ice cream so strange? Ahren found it odd too. I grew up with it, so I suppose it doesn't seem so to me."
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Zaure's butterfly touches continued to make her smile every time she felt them. Am I scared? A little cold seed inside told her she was. "I...don't know." Elaine hesitated. Something was hidden in there, but what? The more she thought on it, the more uncomfortable she felt. I don't want to feel like that! Nothing happened! The thought shocked her. It implied other things, something that fed the shadows. "I'm not scared of you." The half Elf quickly assured her friend. "I'm not keeping...am I? What I was thinking is..."

The girl got confused again, a shiver travelling through her body. "Nothing happened." She repeated lamely. "We just talked...then the interrogation, which was not bad at all...nothing happened." Elaine could not grasp what was troubling her, except that it was giving her a headache. "Icecream is weird. Something cold with a flavour, but it's very nice." She responded quickly to get away from whatever was spoiling the moment. Mother, what is wrong with me? I can't even tell him what I was thinking?
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure felt the smiles upon Elaine's face and also his own longing and need for touch and kept stroking and touching Elaine everywhere he could without straying into territory that might make her angry with them. The idea of Elaine being angry with him scared him, "I know you are not scared of me, Elaine..." His voice was a murmur, "But what are you scared of? You have no better person to tell right now, Elaine. Nothing will hurt you here, it is okay."

The elf hugged her closely and felt her shiver, "Elaine, clearly something did happen or you wouldn't be so scared right now," Zaure touched her cheeks and stroked her jawline, banishing the red strands and allowing her headache to fall away again, though he could not remove the mental block that she was struggling with, "Are you... does the idea that I might kiss you scare you? I said I wouldn't do it..." The elf's voice was tinged with sadness.
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

"I know I should not be scared...it's just..." Old memories? Karmus? What on earth? More shadows moved, the headache melting away and growing again, making her flinch. "I want to tell you, but nothing happened. There was this horrible man at the gates, but that turned out alright. Then there was...well, nothing. It's nothing." Her breathing became shallow and panicked although she managed to keep her voice steady.

Zaure's sad voice made her cringe. "No, no! It's not you! In fact for a moment I wanted you to..." Panick. Go away. Nothing happened. Oh, gods not NOW! Let me enjoy these moments! "I trust you, Zaure. I trust you with all my heart." Elaine finally said. "Too many things are going on at the same time, I think I am just getting confused. It is not you!"

To strengthen her words she placed a kiss on his hand.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

With the return of the red strands around Elaine's head, Zaure frowned and then applied a more consistant blue melody around her head, forcing the headache to stay away as he whispered into her hair, "If there is nothing, then why must you panic as you are doing right now? Elaine, I'm not trying to push you, but I want to help you live your life in the happiest way possible. If I can help you..." His voice trailed off, "You wanted me to what, Elaine?" The elf's voice was gently curious and not at all threatening.

He took the hand she kissed and placed it once again over her heart, "What is this telling you right now, Elaine? What is your own song trying to say to you?"
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Nothing happened. The headache subsided again and Elaine breathed with relief. Yet something kept pushing her and it was not the Elf's sweet voice. "I know you're not trying to harm me, Zaure." She smiled at him. "You are very special to be thinking of me right now and you are already helping. I do not know exactly what you are doing, but it feels so much better"

Her cheeks still warm Zaure's questions only added to their continuous red hue. "I was wondering..." That hesitation again. "Well, it was not fair cause I said no. And then I thought of what would happen...but somehow if I try to imagine it...nothing happened." She finished quickly, the last words in something of a different tone.

Elaine felt her heart beat under her own hand. It was a reassuring feeling. "My song..." She whispered. "It tells me I am alive, that there are things to do. It is telling me..." to stay away from the shadows. Do not look around. Nothing happened.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

He continued to hold and touch her, "I'm making the bad, painful energy go away from you. I can't stop the fact that there's something blocking you though. Who else would I think of? The City is never far from my thoughts, but what thoughts can I have of myself right now?" Zaure smiled curled his hand into a fist on her heart while the other ran itself through her hair, "What were you wondering, Elaine? A no is never final, you know, there is always room for you to change your mind. Imagine if people stayed the same and never changed..."

He took her hand in his own and brought it up to his lips, "When did nothing happen, Elaine? You must tell me. Nothing is oftentimes something. Some people would argue that I am now nothing. I do not like that idea. What is this nothing and why is it disturbing you so?"
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

"Blocking? What do you mean by blocking?" Elaine wondered, absentmindedly playing with Zaure's long hair, winding it around her fingers. "I wonder about a lot of things, dear friend. About things I might have done differently, yet when I think about them again, I find myself unable to look at the different outcome. So I guess some things are meant to be. And other things..." She laughed. "I am digressingn again, am I not?"

The laughter disappeared as quickly as it had started. "Zaure, blocking...does that have to do with thoughts?" The girl suddenly worried. "I want to tell you, but...I can't. It's just...well, it's nothing really." The frown deepened. "Nothing..." Her fingers had stopped the twirling.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure allowed Elaine to play with his hair happily, and let out a purring sound resembling that he had made when he had nearly fallen asleep in her arms before speaking again into her hair, deeply inhaling the scent that was uniquely Elaine, "Mmm, there's something there. Yes, it's a melody, so I think it's blocking your thoughts... I don't know if it's a block you put there yourself or if somebody else put it there though."

He gave a small laugh, "What is it with you and the fear of digressing? There is nothing wrong with digressing, although I still want to know what possiblity you were pondering at that very moment..." The elf stroked her cheek again, "Nothing... Elaine, you keep saying that. What is nothing? Does nothing ever truly happen? Something is always happening..."
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

There was something comforting about playing with Zaure's hair. Even while the Elf made his observations she continued to fiddle with it. "Blocking me?" Elaine frowned. "Now why would I or anyone go through the trouble? I have nothing to hide...have I?" There was doubt on her face, in her voice. Melodies did not lie. What was going on here?

"Zaure, I don't know what's happening, but I don't like it." The girl said slowly, the twirling of his hair following the same mood. "Haven't you guessed by now what I was going to say? What I was pondering was..." Panick. She swallowed. Get a grip, girl! "kissing." She squeezed out of her throat and let the waves of darkness drag her under before she forcefully worked her way out of them. Breathing hard she blinked her eyes. "We talked, that's all..." Her voice sounded small.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure's voice was thoughtful once more as the elf spoke, "Perhaps it is not something you want to hide from others, but from yourself. We can't always know why it happens. If it is indeed someone else..." Anger bubbled beneath the surface of the elf's being, which he quickly fought down, "Then they must be stopped, of course. No person has the right to tamper with another's mind..."

He indulged his fingers to twirl around her hair in the same fashion hers were doing to his, "Ah, so you were wondering that... sorry, Elaine, I'm not very good at reading people and I haven't even spoken with anyone up here." Zaure hugged her even closer, "I don't know either, Elaine... try to think. Why does the idea of kissing someone leave you so cold? Who is 'we'?" The elf's melodies were very busy, touching and stroking Elaine to keep her from falling into complete despair.
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine tried to shrug the shadows off. "It's probably really nothing, Zaure. I'm not exactly rational right now, so I'm just scaring myself, no doubt." There was no real conviction to her voice. "Let's not get upset over things we do not know."

Zaure's sweet song kept her head above the waves and she breathed with relief. The Elf might be thinking of her as a lifeline, right now it felt very much the other way around. "Think...it's not as if you are scary, cause you are not." She poked her friend playfully. "We? Oh, nothing, lord DeWinter and I talked about things, about the situation. He promised to help."
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure cocked his head to the side, "Who says scaring yourself is any more of nothing rather than someone else scaring you? But you are upset, Elaine. I don't want you to be upset. Let us figure this out now so it does not plague you when you leave..." The elf rocked Elaine forward and back, holding her tightly.

Noticing how his songs were helping, the elf kept the melodies flitting around, darting in to take away little bits of darkness that tried to creep into Elaine's being, "I am not scary?" Zaure pretended to be offended, "What if I put on my scary face?" He made a rather silly face, then grinned, 'I wish I could do this sort of thing here...'He fell back into thoughtfulness, "Well, we know DeWinter isn't going to help... do you remember exactly what you two said?"
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

"I'll be fine." Elaine assured her friend, enjoying the soft rocking. She put her hands in her lap, still holding Zaure's long hair. It created the impression of an extra cloak around her and it felt safe. "What I will take from here is knowing you are still here somehow...that I can talk to you...that I must find a way of coming back here."

"No, you're not scary!" She giggled, realizing he had to be putting on a face. "You're silly, yes, but never scary. Oh, well, lord DeWinter probably lied then..but still, he has the best interest of the prisoners in mind." The last sentence came out a bit bland. "We talked about the...situation...he said he would do everything in his power to help. He has the best interest of the prisoners in mind."
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