Conversations with the dead (Zaure & Elaine)

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Syrawenn
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Conversations with the dead (Zaure & Elaine)

Post by Syrawenn »

The house is empty. A few pieces of furniture are stacked up against the walls to leave the wooden floor in the middle empty. The shutters are closed, leaving the sun outside. The hearth is empty. Not even a memory of fire remains.

Outside the sun is shining on the little cottage. The trees surrounding it sway in the wind, making their leaves rustle a welcome. The grass smells fresh and little daisies speckle the green carpet.

All is quiet.
All is still.
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Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine wandered through the empty house, her staff tapping against the cold floor. There was something here that needed remembering, but she could not find it. Something gnawed at her, making her heart scream, but she could not remember. Maybe I'm just tired. She thought, searching for something to sit on. Her staff tapped against the stack against the wall and the girl grimaced. Of course. Mom is dead. I'm moving out. Why am I still here? I thought I had taken care of everything by now. Maybe I forgot to take something...
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

The elf was not very used to being dead yet. It was an odd feeling. After that initial singing spree, he had stopped and hadn't spoken since. Zaure stepped, one foot in front of the other, on the grass filled with daisies. He had finally started to explore his surroundings after a while, although the elf always returned to the spot of his initial landing. This was the farthest from that spot he had ever been. Zaure looked up and was somewhat surprised to see a shut house. Beyond that, he was most certainly startled to sense Elaine's presence in the house.

'Well, I've dreamt of dead people... soooo, who says dead people can't dream of living people?' Still completely unused to the rules of this new place, the elf decided that it was best to be polite, just in case he was wrong and it wasn't Elaine. He stepped up to the cottage door and knocked, his simple white robe brushing the ground as he stood and waited for an answer.
Elaine
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine frowned. Knocking on the door? Would they come to see me off? That would be the day...Still she felt around, looking for the thing she had misplaced while she walked up to the sound. "Who is there?" She asked, opening the creaking door. While walking she could hear the soft rustling of her dress. Had to be the expensive one then that she was wearing. Why would she do that when cleaning up? Strange.

There were things playing around in her mind. Memories of talks and memories of shadowy happenings she did not want to remember. Cold places and harsh faces, deceiving voices and honeysweet smiles. Vision...there was vision. But how was that possible?

She awaited the answer of whoever was standing in the dooropening.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

As soon as he had heard the voice, Zaure knew his thoughts and senses had not betrayed him, 'Even if this isn't real...' At this, the elf frowned. He was dead, what was 'real' or not was still quite confusing to him, who still thought of and explored everything as a living person would. He fought to make his voice work after what had seemed like an eternity, although he knew that with the way time worked here, it could have been only a day, "It's Zaure..." Zaure's voice sounded the same as it had the first day they'd met; the melody was back in his voice, as well as the subconscious empathy.

"Elaine...?" His voice was timid; he didn't know how she would react. Zaure was as out-of-place as a newborn babe is when they enter the world from the womb.
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine heard the voice and her eyes grew big. Suddenly she knew what she was looking for: Zaure! There was something horribly wrong. Her heart was racing, her breath almost stopped. What was wrong? Why was she looking for her friend?

Because he is dead.

Boom. Did her heart as tears started to stream down her cheeks. "Zaure! Is that really you? Oh, it must be you! It has to be!" Her staff forgotten it fell to the floor as she reached out and threw both her arms around the Elf, sobbing incontrollably. "Is this real? What is this? How did you get here?" There was not much logic to all the little questions she threw at him, except trying to find out what was going on. "How are you? Oh, Zaure, you can't simply go like that!"
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

The sobbing of Elaine took him somewhat off-guard, and as her emotions flew into his being, Zaure gasped. Nevertheless, the elf returned her hug, holding her as closely as he could, and touching her hair and cheeks and back, "Touch... touch..my gods, I miss this touch.." He also began to cry, holding Elaine ever-so-closely, as though he was afraid that she would at any moment become untouchable, "It's me... yes...I don't know if this is real... I don't know what's real, Elaine..." Still sobbing, Zaure pressed his hand to Elaine's wet cheek, "Tears... I miss tears..."

"I am supposed to be good, I think, but I don't know... I did not want to go, Elaine! I didn't want to go!" Zaure broke down completely, the only phrase he was muttering was, "I failed.."
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine heard Zaure's words through her tears and slowly started to swallow her grief. Her friend needed her as much as she needed him. The girl was not willing to let go of him though and she kept her arms around him, afraid he would suddenly disappear on her. "We all heard your song, Zaure. We did! It stopped. We knew...something had happened. Oh, I don't care whether this is real or not. I am so glad you're here! You never failed, dear Zaure, you never ever did. We've all been trapped in there with all the strange happenings."

She touched his cheek and laughed through her own tears. "You missed tears? Well, here is plenty of them! I know you did not want to go...I don't want you to go either. You're my friend, Zaure. But you did not fail. You tried your best!"
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure's hands clutched at Elaine, fingers digging into her dress, eyes shut and shaking with sobs, the elf had tears running down his face and spotting his robe, "You heard it stop..? It wasn't supposed to stop!" This sparked a new round of crying, "The song failed... I failed..." He was pressing himself to Elaine in desperation to feel touch, the senses were almost overwhelming, and the colors and melodies dancing around the two were equally remarkable, "Where are you trapped?"

Zaure took the hand Elaine pressed to his cheek and then kissed it gently, "But what good is your best if it still falls short of what was needed? Yes, I miss tears. Nobody cries here..." The elf buried his head in Elaine's shoulder, "You must get out... be safe, please..."
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine bit her lip. "It stopped...I think it did cause you...stopped. But that was not your fault. It was not your choice to die! We can't know what is in store for us and we can't know anything for sure. But I do know that if you get murdered in the dungeons, it sure is NOT your failing!" Elaine was getting worked up. Zaure was not going to spend eternity thinking he had failed if it was up to her. She held the Elf close, stroking his hair as she had done so long ago. Was it today? Yesterday? I can't remember. "I don't know." She hesitated. "Maybe we are all free now. I'm not sure...How peculiar. No fear, though: I am sure we will get out. There are always people willing to help."

A small flash of a memory played through her mind: lord De Winter talking, smiling, promising the best. A slight headache started to form. "Your best is good enough because you know there was nothing more to be done by you. Stop complaining about things that were never yours, but look at the things that you have accomplished!" She diverted the subject back.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure couldn't stop crying, "I know I didn't... I thought I was protecting it, Elaine! DeWinter was being so nice and then I couldn't move and..." The elf broke into sobbing yet again, not liking how his last good thought was how nice Marius' fingers in his hair were, "But now it's all wrong, Elaine... it's all so wrong... they never should have picked me in the first place..." The elf was trembling as Elaine stroked his hair, his breathing was ragged as he slowly shook his head on her shoulder, "No... no, Elaine... no more waiting for others to help... help yourself. Please help yourself..." Zaure's voice was a desperate whisper, "Save yourself..."

"Accomplished? Other than the song, I have done nothing, and the song is gone now... help it, Elaine. Help the city find its song, please... and be happy..." The elf was moving his hands on her back, feeling the wave of fabric under his hands was electrifying.
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Post by Elaine »

DeWinter? So he tried to help Zaure too...The headache grew. "You did get picked, you started a song and I am sure the others that were there will always remember. They can still sing it...and maybe you will teach me so I can sing it with them!" She kissed the Elf on his cheek. "You are worth so much. In such a short time you have become such a great part of my life...how..." am I going to live without you? The words stuck. She could not say them. It would not be fair. It would hurt him and that was the last thing she meant to do!

"Not waiting for others? Zaure, I'm not sure where I am." The girl frowned. "I think we're still in the dungeons, but I can't get out by myself. It would be suicide...I would gladly be here with you and I want to come with you, but getting myself killed would not solve anything. Oh gods, I want to stay with you!" Again tears flowed from her eyes. "I'll be fine, Zaure, I will live. DeWinter has promised us help and it will come. He knows Isabella and Rees. I will be fine..." Without you? Mother, what am I going to do without him? Can't I just take him with me?

"I will help the city, Zaure. We started it and I will continue. Please help me to do that, if you can? Teach me your song?" Again she choked.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure shook in Elaine's arms, "I don't care if they remember me..." He knew that that wasn't true though; he did care. The elf shook his head to clear it, "They must remember the song... unite people... it is not Pan's song, it isn't Mother's song... it's the song of the City, of people's will. Yes... I'll show you... teach it to all people, those who heard it and those who didn't. Allow all people to become the Chosen, let every voice ring...please..." Zaure fell silent at her mention of his great worth, and cupped her cheek in his hand, 'I want Elaine with me!' The elf choked on another sob; he didn't want to leave the only person who had valued him for who he was, "Well, I suppose I found my place..." It was a weak joke, and the elf knew it.

The elf's hand stroked her cheek and hair and moved down her neck, "I want you to stay too... what good is this meadow with nobody here to speak with? No, I didn't say go by yourself, unite the others... help yourselves." At the mention of DeWinter from her lips, Zaure went completely still in Elaine's arms, "No, Elaine, get out! Don't let DeWinter come back! He... He..." The elf was lost again, watching his own blood drip from his neck and spread out on the dungeon's stone floor. He reached a hand up to his neck and grasped it gently.

"Yes, of course... help... sing to everyone, Elaine... every person you meet, share this with them..." Zaure didn't know if he could sing the song he sang that night, and instead relaxed in Elaine's arms for a few moments.
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine gently guided Zaure to the grass she knew was growing around the little house. She sat down in the warm green and pulled the Elf down with her. The blind woman kept her arms around her friend, still playing with his hair. "You will be remembered." She said softly, her cheek resting on his head. "People will know the city's song somehow. I will do whatever I can, dear friend."

The girl took a deep breath. "You have found a place...and now that I know where it is, I will come and visit you as often as I can. I..." Oh dear..."I don't know how to go on without you." Still the tears were dripping from her eyes. Every time she thought she was done crying another word was spoken that evoked more of the salty drops. "Why can't I just stay?"

Yet Zaure already mentioned helping the others and herself. It would not be right to deny him or herself. He was dead; would not come back; not ever. Elaine was sobbing again, desperately trying to get a hold on herself. She sniffled and blew her nose in her sleeve. It didn't matter to her that it might leave stains. Who else was here to see after all?

"We'll get out... with or without DeWinter's help." She promised. "Then I will sing for all that will hear."
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure allowed himself to be pulled behind the house and onto the warm grass without a word, although he leaned back into Elaine, 'Touch... you never realize how glorious it is until something takes it away.' The elf shifted a bit, turning around so he was facing Elaine and tenatively reached out his fingers to feel her face as she had done his own so long ago, or rather, that's how long it had seemed to be, "Thank you, Elaine. I will watch over you, if... if we're allowed to do that here. Everyone knows the City's song. Anytime they make a choice, they feel it." He placed his hand on her heart, "Teach them to use it, Elaine..."

Softly, the elf nuzzled his friend's neck, "You will go on living your life the same you did before me. I will fade in your memory, become only a name..." Zaure reached up to wipe away one of her tears, "I want you to stay too, Elaine. I want to sit with you forever, and not go back to wandering aimlessly like a wrath.."

"DeWinter will not help you, Elaine. Know that. He's the one that... he, well, I didn't kill myself..." Zaure smiled and ran his fingers through her hair, "I will watch, I promise... I will find a way. It's as I said: the City is me and I am the City... maybe they know how to break Pan's bond, but not a person has existed that can break the City's."
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine captured the hand that was exploring her face and held it in her own. It might be the last time that she ever had the chance and she had no intention of letting the chance go to waste. The feel of her friend so close made it impossible anything bad had happened at all. Yet her heart screamed so hard it was breaking with every breath she took. Her chest hurt, her eyes burned. Her emotions did not fit in her body anymore and wanted to break out.

She kept them in as best as she could. This was her chance to enjoy Zaure's company, not to squander it. He will watch me...There simply was no end to the tears. "Thank you, Zaure, that means so much to me." She managed to say. "You will never fade in my memory. There is a place for you in my heart and in my soul and that is where I will treasure you. Whenever I sing, I will hear your voice. Whenever I dream, I will be with you." The blind woman hugged him close again.

"I will help people to understand or at least hear the City, Zaure. Is that bad? To want to stay with you and still wanting to do other things as well? It is all so confusing...Please if you can, come visit whenever you want. There is a ghost in the College...I felt it...maybe I will feel you too! Oh Zaure, there is a chance that we can still be close. I will do anything to find it."

Zaure's remark about DeWinter shocked Elaine. "He...killed you?" She whispered, remembering how they had talked and how honestly concerned the man had seemed. Headache. "It...that...how can that be...was it the same man that came for me? I can't believe it...but if you say it is so..." Headache. The Earendil frowned and rubbed her head. Strange. "I will...be careful." She promised her friend wearily. The comment did not fit the picture. Or was it the other way around?
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure continued to move his hand over Elaine's eyes, nose, and lips; taking her own hand along for the ride. Although she was trying to hide how she felt, the elf felt it keenly and actually had to distance himself from it, wondering in his mind, 'Is anyone else so hurt as this? I have experienced much hurt in my life, but nothing like that...' He smiled at Elaine through his continued tears, "Thank you, Elaine. Please, send your feelings to me, let me know you still feel...Tell me you are still alive..." Zaure spread his hand on her cheek in a tender gesture, "Not you only; the City as well. I will watch... if I am allowed, I will tell you things. No, make that, even if I'm not allowed; I didn't follow the rules when I was alive after all."

The elf shook his head softly, "That is not bad, Elaine. You are still alive; you want to live, as all people do. Even as those here still do. But now I have something to do. I will find a way to watch you... I am not a ghost, but maybe I can be with you. Send your feelings, Elaine, please. Let me feel you. Speak to me."

Feeling her pain, Zaure placed his hands on her forehead and began to massage gently, hair falling around them, as he saught the painful red and clashing strands and sent them away from Elaine before putting his hands on her shoulders, then looking away and speaking in a small voice, "Yes, he did. One minute he was being comforting and the next... I couldn't move. All I could do is watch, watch him draw the blade across my throat and listen to him laugh. Laugh at the destruction they caused..." Zaure's hands balled into fists on her shoulders; there was a rage in the elf so deep it was causing him to tremble, "He is a deciever, Elaine. One moment his fingers were in my hair, gentle as a lover's, and the next I watched my life fall onto a stone floor. Do watch yourself."
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine followed the Elf’s exploration, not minding at all how he touched her face. It made her smile through her tears to have him so close, so real. His question made her wonder. “My feelings? Zaure, I do not want to burden you. You deserve rest now...” While she spoke she realized the importance of his request. “Oh, I am sorry...that is not what I meant!” She hastened to assure him. “Yes, I will let you know, but you will already have guessed it might take a little while before I feel up to par again.” She laughed mirtlessly. “I will live, Zaure. Don’t worry about it. It will be okay, somehow. It’s gonna take a lot of getting used to...” She’d better stop talking about it. Already new tears were ready to flow. “You following rules? Oh, silly man! Don’t get yourself into trouble after death as well!” The girl hugged him as close as she could. He felt so alive!

“I will tell you of the things that happen in the city, Zaure. It’s always been a bit of a silly habit of me to review my days at the end...I will instead tell you, if you are not afraid to share my doubts and everything that comes with it.” She said earnestly.

Elaine felt Zaure’s soft hands going through her hair, massaging her scalp. She sighed softly. “Mmm, how’d you know...that feels good.” Then the Elf’s words registered and she sat up straight. “He did WHAT? How can he be so two-faced about all of this! What a horrible man! I will talk to Isabella and Rees about that. They have connections as well. He will not get away with this! I will not allow it!” There was anger inside the frail body, yet something else stirred as well: fear. A deep, dark fear that she did not understand. How close she might have been to death without knowing! Yet that was not it. “I will watch myself, but I will see to it that this is brought out in the open.” The woman said carefully.
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure gave a genuine laugh, the first one he had given in this place of sunshine and daisies, "Elaine, you are on auto response, aren't you? Feelings aren't a burden; especially the ones you think of. Nobody feels anything but happiness here... it doesn't feel real to me. And, I don't exactly need rest, it isn't as though I can run out of life energy if I'm not alive! Elaine..." The elf hugged her closely again, "Feel genuinely, that's all I ask. Don't deny your feelings, no matter what they may be." He laughed again, "I don't think I can get into trouble here... I mean, they can't exactly kill me, now, can they?"

The laugh settled into a soft smile as Zaure ran his hands up and down Elaine's back, "I am not afraid of your doubts, Elaine. I want to share with you. Or rather, have you give to me. I'm afraid I don't have much to share..."

"I felt the red strands around your head and made them go away..." The elf smilied and ran his hands through her hair again before pulling away to look at her when he felt a surge of anger run through his friend's body, "He is a courtier, Elaine, he has spent his whole career being two-faced. Talk to whoever you wish if it makes you feel better. I cannot say I dislike the idea of Marius being punished, but do not do anything that may endanger yourself! He is very powerful, Elaine."
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine had to laugh along. It was infectuous. Somewhere it felt bad to be laughing while there was so much wrong. Should I not laugh at all? But Zaure was laughing himself and he was the one it had happened to! My friend. She thought fondly. How strong he is without realizing it.

"Feelings..." The girl hesitated. "I am not uh...good with feelings. But I will do my best." Suddenly she blushed. "There is a good chance you will know what is going on before I do, with the amount I keep ignoring!" This time she could laugh about herself. It was too silly to realize that this man was willing to share with her that which she had always hidden from others. He was even asking for it! Again she simply had to hug him. Not wanting to let go she let herself be content in his presence.

"A courtier...so his name can be damaged badly." Elaine continued grimly. "That is good to know. I will make friends before I take him on, Zaure." A shiver went through her body. What was it that already scared her so about this man? Was it the implied visciousness? The horrible killing he had on his conscience? How it angered her to learn he had sweettalked her only to kill her true friend!

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do, Zaure? Oh, Mother, I don't even know if I can remember this dream! I want to remember. I want to remember so badly that it hurts. This is all so real!" Despair caught her again. Waking up would mean ending this conversation. She was not ready for that yet!
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure laughed yet again, keeping his arms wrapped around Elaine, "Elaine, it takes so much time to be good with feelings. I am an empath and I am not good with feelings! Just let me feel what you feel... let me feel the feelings of being alive, Elaine..." The elf's voice was wistful, although he smiled again softly, "Perhaps.. especially if I can cheat and watch things." Th every solemness and fear that were going through Elaine as he spoke somewhat scared Zaure, but he nodded, "Yes, but it isn't as easy as you might think. The Major Domus is a major figure at Court, and works under the Inner Circle itself. Take him on, Elaine? No... don't... he hasn't hurt you...you have no reason to. Do not risk your life for a whim."

"Elaine..." The elf cupped her chin in his hand and brushed some of her hair out of her eyes although she didn't need it, "You will remember, or at least, part of you will. I promise you that... and it is real, I suppose. I'm dead, we don't sleep, so it isn't really just a dream. No despair, Elaine, please... I wasn't supposed to go, but we can't do anything about it. Talk to me, Elaine, perhaps I can find the ability to talk back."
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Post by Elaine »

Elaine nodded, safely in her friend's arms. "I will live and learn and I will tell you all about it. Just see if you can stop me." She squeezed one of the arms around her fondly. "You are a part of my life, Zaure, no matter how short or how long ago we met. There is something so special about you and I still want you to realize that. Gods, Zaure, I love you, did you know that?" The weight of her words surprised even Elaine. Yes, she loved him although she could not imagine herself in love. This Elf had taken up such a precious place in her heart that she could not imagine feeling anything else.

She giggled. "Zaure, you big cheat! By all means do...we'll find a way around things somehow. We always do, don't we?" Her friend's warning rang very true and again the headache started to grow. She frowned. "He...we talked. But Zaure, killing you is not a whim! That is murder, nothing less. People get punished for murder where I come from."

Every little touch made her heart a little lighter. He was not really gone, not if it felt like this with every passing moment. His soft words brought new tears, but they felt different. This time it was not the terrible heartache that spawned them, but a little blossoming hope for more. The pain still existed, now accompagnied by this new feeling. Again it was so much, too much to just hold in her heart. "No despair...I will try so hard. I don't know what will happen, but I will tell you about it all. Even if I do not hear an answer I will rest assured that you have something of the Citadel again...and of me."
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure smiled in amusement, "Not really now, Elaine, I'd imagine that I'm the same as every person here. Yes, please live... I want to know about things I couldn't do in my life, as selfish as that sounds. You love me?" The elf's eyes were wide and devoid of amusement as he felt the feeling erupt out of Elaine, and he held her close in wonder, 'She loves me... nobody has really loved me for me before.' He continued to hold her closely, "I... I am glad, Elaine, really."

The elf grinned at her again, "It's only cheating if there are rules, Elaine. Last time I checked, the rules had been suspended. Yes, we do! Rules are merely guidelines anyway." Zaure stroked his friend's cheek again, "And they do here, er, that is, in the Citadel, as well. Make some very good friends, Elaine. Do not endanger yourself!"

"Thank you so much, Elaine, I need it. I want to know like I want air or like I want... well, everything. If you need to, then despair, but... not now, please? Let's enjoy this for a while, Elaine. You are my lifeline... quite literally." Swiftly the elf stood and then bent over and took her hand in his, "Care to dance, Milady?"
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Post by Elaine »

Still shocked by her own words Elaine was relieved to hear Zaure's response to them. "Then I am content too." She answered, leaning back in his arms. The whole rundown about nonexistant rules was quite funny and it made her lips curl up again. The girl tried to take in everything: the timbre of his voice, his choice of words, the way he touched her and the way he smelled. She needed a complete picture to hold with her. "I'll make friends alright, Zaure. There are ways to find justice without hurting the wrong people and by the Gods I'll find them."

The Elf's plea was not waisted. "Enjoy this we will." She said in her determined way. "This is a gift for the both of us and we should not squander it. I know there will be many times...no, never mind. Not now. I just..." She almost toppled over as Zaure got on his feet. "Hey now!" The blind woman laughed, then followed suit. "Yes, m'lord, I'd love to dance! Please be sure to keep your toes out of my way."
Zaure

Post by Zaure »

Zaure rocked Elaine a bit with a smile on his face. He was also trying to memorize how his friend felt and smelled; knowing that while he would be able to see her, hear her, and watch over her, he would not hold her this way again until she herself died. As he stood with her, he stood quite near to her in order to keep himself reassured she wasn't leaving yet, and he set his head on her shoulder, speaking into the pale skin, "Do not just get justice for my death. Get justice for the silencing of a song; for the taking of a spirit."

He put his head upright again with a painful smile, "There will be many times we will long to have this moment again, I know, Elaine." Zaure held her by her waist and put her arms on his neck, still standing less than a hand's width from Elaine, "Well, yes, I'll keep my toes out of your violent way! Now, my student, do you remember our last lesson?"
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